Friends

Before I rant I think its important to know some details, I am 18, just finished college, and going to uni this year.

Basically I dont think my friends satisfy me anymore.

I have had these friends since high school and we used to have great times, but over the last couple of years, especially during this summer I have slowly started losing interest in them. All we ever seem to do is go round one guys house, have a 'gathering' and attempt to get drunk.

When they phone me up I try to get them to do different stuff like sports, leisure center and even pub etc But they always complain that they don't want to spend money and are not keen to do it. In the end its always a gathering round this guys house or another persons house.

They have almost become so boring that sometimes I rather sit at home and watch tv and use my laptop then go round the guys house.

I tried to get them to come out to the pub today but to no avail.

I made plenty of friends at college but I didnt really socialise with them outside of college. I have been trying to keep in contact with them but don't really want to look desperate.

1. How can I make my current friends more outgoing?

2. I really want to make some new friends, how can I do this with say college friends without looking desperate? ( I know this may be a wierd question but I hope some people understand, its like wanting to become a part of a group of friends that you know but not wanting to make it obvious what you are doing to them.)

I know I'll be going to Uni next year and will have a chance to meet loads of new people and make new friends, but it would still be nice to have more friend in this area.

Thanks

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I don't know how to help sorry, but I feel a similar way about my friends. We just don't seem to do anything new anymore, and when i suggest stuff, they're not interested. But it's nice to know I'm not the only one like this, and like you say, you'll beable to make lots of new friends when you go to uni. :smile:

Reply 2

username51346

urinate in a plastic bag and then....... wait that doesnt solve anything

Reply 3

lapsaJ

4

GarageMc

Before I rant I think its important to know some details, I am 18, just finished college, and going to uni this year.

Basically I dont think my friends satisfy me anymore.

I have had these friends since high school and we used to have great times, but over the last couple of years, especially during this summer I have slowly started losing interest in them. All we ever seem to do is go round one guys house, have a 'gathering' and attempt to get drunk.

When they phone me up I try to get them to do different stuff like sports, leisure center and even pub etc But they always complain that they don't want to spend money and are not keen to do it. In the end its always a gathering round this guys house or another persons house.

They have almost become so boring that sometimes I rather sit at home and watch tv and use my laptop then go round the guys house.

I tried to get them to come out to the pub today but to no avail.

I made plenty of friends at college but I didnt really socialise with them outside of college. I have been trying to keep in contact with them but don't really want to look desperate.

1. How can I make my current friends more outgoing?

2. I really want to make some new friends, how can I do this with say college friends without looking desperate? ( I know this may be a wierd question but I hope some people understand, its like wanting to become a part of a group of friends that you know but not wanting to make it obvious what you are doing to them.)

I know I'll be going to Uni next year and will have a chance to meet loads of new people and make new friends, but it would still be nice to have more friend in this area.

Thanks

Get a hobby - join a club? For example, since I joined the cadets I've never hung around with mates from school.

Reply 4

Sazarina88

11

I feel practically the same as you do.

I think it's just part of growing up - you gain friends, you lose friends. As someone suggested, join a club - lots of people with the same interest as you.

Your current friends - I don't know whether you CAN make them more sociable or not - if they really don't want to go out, they won't go out despite your efforts to make them do so.

Sarah xx

Reply 5

Welshdude

Bit harsh innit. Ure friends must have been there for u through thick and thin. Ya have been friends with them for years and ure losing interest in them. I think dats wrong. Iv been mates wit my mates for years and i couldn't even imagine losing interest in them

Reply 6

Sazarina88

11

Welshdude

Bit harsh innit. Ure friends must have been there for u through thick and thin. Ya have been friends with them for years and ure losing interest in them. I think dats wrong. Iv been mates wit my mates for years and i couldn't even imagine losing interest in them

They might be losing interest in him too to be honest.

I don't think it's harsh - I've been friends with some of my friends for 7+ years. People change, attitudes change, friends drift apart. I don't think you can really call it wrong.

Reply 7

M'Lady

12

Anonymous

I don't know how to help sorry, but I feel a similar way about my friends. We just don't seem to do anything new anymore, and when i suggest stuff, they're not interested. But it's nice to know I'm not the only one like this, and like you say, you'll be able to make lots of new friends when you go to uni. :smile:

Same here, my friends just make plans with me and then end up letting me down.

Reply 8

supertramp

9

One of my friends is like that. She won't go out anywhere with us, and doesn't make any attempt to socialise or learn any social skills (hers are absolutely shocking). I figure she's a lost cause, but saying that I also have a few really great friends who I'm going to miss loads when I go to uni without them. Gutted.

Reply 9

username39618

1

GarageMc

Before I rant I think its important to know some details, I am 18, just finished college, and going to uni this year.

Basically I dont think my friends satisfy me anymore.

I have had these friends since high school and we used to have great times, but over the last couple of years, especially during this summer I have slowly started losing interest in them. All we ever seem to do is go round one guys house, have a 'gathering' and attempt to get drunk.

When they phone me up I try to get them to do different stuff like sports, leisure center and even pub etc But they always complain that they don't want to spend money and are not keen to do it. In the end its always a gathering round this guys house or another persons house.

They have almost become so boring that sometimes I rather sit at home and watch tv and use my laptop then go round the guys house.

I tried to get them to come out to the pub today but to no avail.

I made plenty of friends at college but I didnt really socialise with them outside of college. I have been trying to keep in contact with them but don't really want to look desperate.

1. How can I make my current friends more outgoing?

2. I really want to make some new friends, how can I do this with say college friends without looking desperate? ( I know this may be a wierd question but I hope some people understand, its like wanting to become a part of a group of friends that you know but not wanting to make it obvious what you are doing to them.)

I know I'll be going to Uni next year and will have a chance to meet loads of new people and make new friends, but it would still be nice to have more friend in this area.

Thanks

Well, obv you still do get on with them, best not to destroy your friendships, as it will be good to get back from uni to have mates back home to meet with..

Reply 10

Mattmoy_2000

9

If the relationships fade, so what? as long as you don't actually cut the ties, (e.g. by telling them they're **** friends) then the friendship can always be rekindled. You'll seriously make really good friends at uni, and loads of them, so don't worry about that. The friends you have that are worth keeping in contact with, you will. I'm only still in contact with 2 people from my class at school, and have since realised that most of the others were either just acquaintances or idiots who I thought were friends, but really weren't.
You'll change as a person when you go to uni, not for better or worse, just for different. You might find that you enjoy the company of these people when you return, just because they're old friends and easy to get on with when you come home for holidays.
best of luck for uni.