Urgent: should I drop out before they kick me out? Watch

Confuseduni93
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I'm having a major dilemma at the moment.


I am currently a student at Oxbridge.I repeated my first year of studies (originally 2011-12), due to poor attendance in classes. This was mostly a result of anxiety and possibly depression - though I was never formally diagnosed for either - and also poor time management, plus a medical condition. There were also issues at home, which I explained in a form I submitted, and I was then granted repeat teaching.


This year, I am currently doing my second year (last year was repeat of first year). I got very good marks in last year's exams despite my relatively low attendance. However, as my attendance record this year/term has also been quite poor, only proving a very serious reason will allow me to still sit exams. I have had several treatments this year (not operations), but they only justify my absences in the first term of this year, not the second term.
I have also been considering a surgery (but my parents opposed this) on a different feature for a while to help correct a medical/functional abnormality which makes me more anxious and self-conscious due to its physical appearance. It also makes it difficult for me to focus my vision/ocular muscles properly.


The thing is, I only had consultations with surgeons, as opposed to undergoing any surgery. But I panicked when I was called in to meet the head of Undergrad studies, and agreed to provide medical evidence that I had undergone surgeries (when I hadn't). I know I should have been forthright, but as I was so concerned about being kicked out without a good reason, or being made to interrupt another year, I pretended I had surgery and was in a ward.


They are now expecting a doctor's letter, and I was in 2 minds to potentially forge another one and hope they don't check on it. But I discussed the whole situation with my parents, and my mum then emailed the head of my department (and from her email, it didn't state that I'd had surgery this year, as she focused more on the other issues of anxiety etc.).


I could either submit the letter now about the surgeries, and hope they don't check on it by calling the clinic (they didn't last time) - this would probably mean I may be able to sit exams this year, or at least interrupt to the next year.


The other alternative, which I will probably go for as it is far more honest, but could lead to me being kicked out is admitting I did not tell the complete truth about the surgeries, as I panicked in the situation (my dad has threatened to kick me out previously if I have to repeat another year). If I go down this route, my mum will at least support me regardless of the outcome.


I am trying to arrange a meeting between the Dean and myself and my mum next week to fully discuss the options available. In the meantime, I need some advice as to what to do regarding the letter, and explaining the surgeries. Any advice would be appreciated, as I'm really in a tough situation here.
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Origami Bullets
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I think you need to go to your students' union's advice service. They've seen it all before, they know university police inside out, and they're on your side. They can advise you, and attend meetings with you if you wish.

However, I'd suggest that you don't drop out before they kick you out - your student finance entitlement is shot to pieces anyway at this point, so unless your family is both wealthy and generous this is pretty much your only chance of getting a degree.
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ThatGirl276
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Studying at oxbridge? Nice try.

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SlowlorisIncognito
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I agree with contacting your SU. It may also be worth contacting your disability advice service or student support services. These will probably be better advocates for you than your mum.

You shouldn't have lied, and forging a letter will only make things worse. It would be best to prove you have had what treatment you have had, and maybe play down your lie as a misunderstanding or explaining you lied due to anxiety. Forging a doctors letter is fraud, and would be treated as a serious offence by the university.

I think you also need to try to seak some treatment for your mental health issues. Having a doctors letter backing up your self diagnosis will also help your case.

There is no benefit to jumping before you are pushed, and most universities would rather support their students through a difficult time, rather than chucking them out. However, having already repeated a year, your student finance entitlement may cause difficulties and close down options to you (unless you can afford to pay your fees yourself).

I hope you manage to come to a solution that works for you.
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