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He hits her
My friend b/f hits her all da time i dont kno wot 2 do bout it. She my best mate and im scaed if he does something 2 me if i tell anyone. wot shall i do?
There seems to be lack of the english language on this thread but as a translation of what welsh dude said there are helplines that you or your friend can ring, it is wrong for a man to hit his partner.
The_Crow
There seems to be lack of the english language on this thread but as a translation of what welsh dude said there are helplines that you or your friend can ring, it is wrong for a man to hit his partner.
why do people have to use text talk here, you need to tell her to leave her b/f is this what she really want to be beaten up, her self esteem will plummet if she sticks by him.
Maybe shes scared of leaving him, maybe she feels a false sense of security with him, but in reality her life is being destroyed.
Maybe shes scared of leaving him, maybe she feels a false sense of security with him, but in reality her life is being destroyed.
It's a tough position for you to be in, on one hand you want to help your friend but on the other you don't want to do anything to drastic as you'll lose her trust, and if she doesn't confide in you, he could be doing anything.
The sad thing is you can't *make* her leave him, you can only be there for her as a friend. If you force her to leave, she may 'miss' him (hard as it is to believe) then blame you for her feeling bad, even though you only want what is best for her.
I think a main reason that people, males or females that is, stay in an abusive relationship is because they have low self esteem and don't believe anyone else will love them. You could try and get her self esteem up, take her shopping, for a coffee, for a movie over a bottle of wine, and let her know she is a worthy person and that whatever happens in her life, you'll always love her as a friend, just don't make out you're trying to get her to leave him, unless you can judge she's thinking about it - you don't want her to think you're 'tricking' her in to leaving him.
In the meantime, these helplines may be worth a call, to give you better advice as to what you can do to help your friend
National Domestic Violence Helpline: 08457 023468
Womens Aid Helpline: 0808 2000 247
Good Luck and I hope your friend is ok
The sad thing is you can't *make* her leave him, you can only be there for her as a friend. If you force her to leave, she may 'miss' him (hard as it is to believe) then blame you for her feeling bad, even though you only want what is best for her.
I think a main reason that people, males or females that is, stay in an abusive relationship is because they have low self esteem and don't believe anyone else will love them. You could try and get her self esteem up, take her shopping, for a coffee, for a movie over a bottle of wine, and let her know she is a worthy person and that whatever happens in her life, you'll always love her as a friend, just don't make out you're trying to get her to leave him, unless you can judge she's thinking about it - you don't want her to think you're 'tricking' her in to leaving him.
In the meantime, these helplines may be worth a call, to give you better advice as to what you can do to help your friend
National Domestic Violence Helpline: 08457 023468
Womens Aid Helpline: 0808 2000 247
Good Luck and I hope your friend is ok
DH often people who are hit make sure they stay covered up, as they are ashamed, do not want people to see etc etc.
Yeah it would be good for her to speak to the police, counsellors etc, but a genuinely good alternative would be to get the **** kicked out of him. I say this in all honesty. The police often just give lip service to crimes like this, and the victim suffers the fallout. A serious kicking would make him recognise the severity of the situation and the repercussions that could occur should his behaviour continue. Yes this is being just as bad as them, but if violence is the language they speak, then they should understand it.
As she is 'choosing' to stay in this situation (through fear, misplaced loyalty, a belief in 'he's not really a bad guy, he's just had a hard time' or whatever), she cannot be expected to get herself out of it. Whether it's through taking her to her auntie on the other side of the country's house for the summer or whatever, or just sitting her down with her parents, or a couple of trusted friends, she needs to understand the situation she's in.
And while she's doing that, send round the lads with the 'physical warning'. Trust me, this works.
Yeah it would be good for her to speak to the police, counsellors etc, but a genuinely good alternative would be to get the **** kicked out of him. I say this in all honesty. The police often just give lip service to crimes like this, and the victim suffers the fallout. A serious kicking would make him recognise the severity of the situation and the repercussions that could occur should his behaviour continue. Yes this is being just as bad as them, but if violence is the language they speak, then they should understand it.
As she is 'choosing' to stay in this situation (through fear, misplaced loyalty, a belief in 'he's not really a bad guy, he's just had a hard time' or whatever), she cannot be expected to get herself out of it. Whether it's through taking her to her auntie on the other side of the country's house for the summer or whatever, or just sitting her down with her parents, or a couple of trusted friends, she needs to understand the situation she's in.
And while she's doing that, send round the lads with the 'physical warning'. Trust me, this works.
what anon said is very true,
give the guy a good kicking see how he likes it
hes a coward and a bully and needs to be taught a lesson
give the guy a good kicking see how he likes it
hes a coward and a bully and needs to be taught a lesson
How about you name some of those 'millions' of reasons behind him hitting her. Also explain which of those would be her 'fault' and necessitate him knockin her around, to put some sense into her, or make her know her place, or whatever you think he's doing.Nice one brainiac.
usman_s
How can you all "suddenly" go negative about the guy? There can be millions of reasons behind his hitting. The girl could be at fault too?
Unless she's catapulting pots and pans at him with alarming force then there's no excuse for him hitting her. Self defense is 1 reason, not 1,000,000
God I hate people like that. I'd recommend telling her parent's let them deal with it: be it criminal or similar.
Chances are she'll feel scared to tell anyone, and she may be using the "I love him" line. I know women who have been through this before (this is an issue quite close to me) and it really really annoys me.
But definately get people involved, family, friends and try and get your friend to realise she should not be in that situation.
But don't be scared of him, that's probably what he's counting on. He's a bully and should be locked up; you've got to be brave, for your friend's sake
Chances are she'll feel scared to tell anyone, and she may be using the "I love him" line. I know women who have been through this before (this is an issue quite close to me) and it really really annoys me.
But definately get people involved, family, friends and try and get your friend to realise she should not be in that situation.
But don't be scared of him, that's probably what he's counting on. He's a bully and should be locked up; you've got to be brave, for your friend's sake
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