The Student Room Group

Unemployment + Depression: Put your stories here

Hello all,

I want to make a thread that makes me feel slightly better about myself. Reading other people in similar situations usually helps. I'm sure there are plenty of us about.

My story in a nutshell:

- used to work in sales before university
- got into uni, one of the best, doing a well-respected degree
- had to help pay for it by being a 'charity fundraiser' (being told to **** off for a living)
- graduated with a 2.1
- 'volunteered' for multiple different groups, got some VERY good experience
- virtually a perfect CV for a 21 year old

Since then:

- got a min. wage job in retail
- applied for literally HUNDREDS of jobs
- not even looking for anything great anymore
- literally the most basic admin job would be a step up, but it is impossible

The only jobs that will even consider me are the ones like charity fundraising, telesales, recruitment consultancy - all jobs which have a massively high turnover of staff and are essentially a 'sink or swim' scenario.

I have posted in mental health because I have now become extremely depressed. When at home, all of these things will happen at least once a day:

- a period of intense unhappiness, when I just lie on the floor or stand with my forehead against the wall, waiting for it to pass over
- a period of intense frustration, when I want to just go on a rampage and destroy everything in sight out of anger
- thinking about '**** it,' have thoughts about doing something reckless like taking out all my money and travelling around the world with it
- the 'realisation' where I realise how worthless I actually am as a person to have been in this situation so long.

I think the absolute worst thing is having to live at home, aged 22, with my parents. I can't control anything in my own life anymore, I have no space to myself.

This isn't living.

Anyway, rant over, share similar experiences please. Helps a lot!

Scroll to see replies

I'm sorry that I don't have any advice about the job situation - things are tough right now - but I just need to say don't feel bad about living with your parents. Many people are forced to these days.

Also, try getting a hobby. If you don't like your job, don't make it your life. Find something you do like and put some time into that :smile:.
I can't way I feel sorry for you. I'm 22, never even had a job before, and I dropped out of university in my third year. I have no prospects, no chance of moving out. My father controlls everything. I had two crap experiences of volunteering at charity shops where the managers treated me like ****, so I have no chance of a decent reference. I'm also a virgin and I've never kissed anyone or had a bf. No one wants to come near me.

Cheered up yet?
I was in your situation.

I actually did buy a one way ticket to a foreign country, i was starving, homeless, dehydrated, dying basically. Perhaps It was a suicide plan, I don't know. But I found hope.
When you are so close to death and haven't eaten in 5 days in a foreign country, you change. Anyway, that's another story.


I would look abroad for work too. take advantage of the EU, free travel rules,

And I hate to bring politics into this, but mass immigration is to blame. But hey, you could go anywhere in Europe and work no questions asked, it works both ways.


What I did : use your pain to better yourself or others. It's difficult, of course it is. You also have every right to be depressed and feel the way you do.
We just need support from others.

The truth is : I am the problem. I once worked in country where I could leave my job at 5 pm and find a new one by 6 pm . But i still felt depressed about something. Empty. regretful. sad. I couldn't go on.
(edited 10 years ago)
22 YEARS IS NOT THE AGE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN A GREAT JOB AND LIVE ALONE AND HAVE EVERYTHING! Many at your age are just beginning with university. Use your young age and try to think about a start up, get experience abroad, now, where you are not bound due to having an own family! You could even do an apprenticeship, as young as you are.

So please don't get yourself down, because of some ridiculous exspectations. You are so young and economy is just bad at the moment. You still have all chances, even if it takes some years.

And one advice to free your head: Give yourself three or four month, where you do nothing but sports or painting or cooking. Just to get in a mood, where you are operational again. And then restart to think, what you want to do.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 5
Original post by sherlockfan

Cheered up yet?


I'm sorry to hear all that. Of course I don't take happiness from your misery, Sharing experiences helps me to feel better in some way.

Where did you volunteer charity wise? I've always found when volunteering people treat you pretty well, it's once they start paying you they treat you like **** lol.
Reply 6
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
I'm sorry that I don't have any advice about the job situation - things are tough right now - but I just need to say don't feel bad about living with your parents. Many people are forced to these days.

Also, try getting a hobby. If you don't like your job, don't make it your life. Find something you do like and put some time into that :smile:.


Unfortunately I just know a lot of people who don't have to live with parents, which makes it so much worse.

Thanks for your reply though.
Reply 7
Original post by Nathanielle
22 YEARS IS NOT THE AGE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN A GREAT JOB AND LIVE ALONE AND HAVE EVERYTHING! Many at your age are just beginning with university. Use your young age and try to think about a start up, get experience abroad, now, where you are not bound due to having an own family! You could even do an apprenticeship, as young as you are.

So please don't get yourself down, because of some ridiculous exspectations. You are so young and economy is just bad at the moment. You still have all chances, even if it takes some years.

And one advice to free your head: Give yourself three or four month, where you do nothing but sports or painting or cooking. Just to get in a mood, where you are operational again. And then restart to think, what you want to do.


Sorry but I do not have 'ridiculous expectations' for a 'great job' - I do not expect to 'have everything.'

The fact is I was better paid when I was 17 than I am at 22, with a degree and a CV jam-packed full of good experience (just none of it paid).

I am trying for even the lowest level jobs at the moment, anything outside of retail/customer service which requires me to think even just a little bit. Entry level admin and all sorts - but certainly nothing 'unrealistic.' My applications have ranged from shelf-stacking right up to top graduate schemes. I would take anything that pays just a bit more than minimum wage so that I could actually have a bit of a life.

But thank you for your advice to take a few months to free my head, that isn't a bad idea at all. The problem is how can I justify 'taking a break' when I've hardly been employed for nearly a year now?
Reply 8
What degree did you do?
Reply 9
Original post by democracyforum
I was in your situation.

I actually did buy a one way ticket to a foreign country, i was starving, homeless, dehydrated, dying basically. Perhaps It was a suicide plan, I don't know. But I found hope.
When you are so close to death and haven't eaten in 5 days in a foreign country, you change. Anyway, that's another story.


I would look abroad for work too. take advantage of the EU, free travel rules,

And I hate to bring politics into this, but mass immigration is to blame. But hey, you could go anywhere in Europe and work no questions asked, it works both ways.


What I did : use your pain to better yourself or others. It's difficult, of course it is. You also have every right to be depressed and feel the way you do.
We just need support from others.

The truth is : I am the problem. I once worked in country where I could leave my job at 5 pm and find a new one by 6 pm . But i still felt depressed about something. Empty. regretful. sad. I couldn't go on.



Where did you travel to?

And I disagree, immigration is not to blame for unemployment.

So how did you use your pain to better yourself or others?
Original post by dnaalpha
Sorry but I do not have 'ridiculous expectations' for a 'great job' - I do not expect to 'have everything.'

I just mean, that you would probably be much more relaxed concerning your situation, if you would travel Europe (seeing young adults much older than you managing their first job with 28 without being looked at as failures, but normal people) and look at statistics (it is really not uncommon at your age in these time to live at home). (And yes, with 22 you are for someone looking for a graduate job extremely young and have plenty of time left to earn the money you need to get a family, a house, etc. ... So yes, your sorrows are mainly in your mind, hindering you to go on (not meaning necessarily jobwise, but also concerning something like a bit of happiness) ... Of course it would be nicer otherwise, you could have left school after your GSCEs without A Levels and could have done an apprenticeship. But these are not the people, you should compare yourself, too. There will come better times!)

The fact is I was better paid when I was 17 than I am at 22, with a degree and a CV jam-packed full of good experience (just none of it paid).

That my be part of the problem. It is unpaid experience, they only want your work unpaid, not paid. That may be a part of the problem, that you may have experience in sectors who are for rich kids, who can afford years of volunteering until they get a paid job after having done a PHD (being a little bit polemic here, but that is my impression of certain sectors). Thus sectors who don't want to pay you for work and thus don't provide you with work. In the paid sectors you lack experience on the other hand. And that is also why I say, leave the UK for a while, go to another country/explore other sectors, where it might be as difficult to find something, but at least you are not expect to work for free as soon as you get a job/internship. Even apprentices get paid!

I am trying for even the lowest level jobs at the moment, anything outside of retail/customer service which requires me to think even just a little bit. Entry level admin and all sorts - but certainly nothing 'unrealistic.' My applications have ranged from shelf-stacking right up to top graduate schemes. I would take anything that pays just a bit more than minimum wage so that I could actually have a bit of a life.

You need to do two things:
1) Remind yourself, that it is not your fault.
2) Don't loose your optimism. It is hard, I know, but it hinders you to take possibilities as soon as they come.

But thank you for your advice to take a few months to free my head, that isn't a bad idea at all. The problem is how can I justify 'taking a break' when I've hardly been employed for nearly a year now?

Because mental health is ********* important. It is the best investment in your future you can do. There is nothing wrong with taking time out, if you have the opportunity to do so. Especially being unemployed you may get in danger to retreat loosing energy and social skills, because you end up having less free time than people working, because you fill up every minute with worrying and blaming yourself.
GO FOR IT! Being umemployed doesn't mean, you don't deserve to be cared about.

(May I ask, what you have studied and what career you have in mind? Just generally ...)
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by dnaalpha
I'm sorry to hear all that. Of course I don't take happiness from your misery, Sharing experiences helps me to feel better in some way.

Where did you volunteer charity wise? I've always found when volunteering people treat you pretty well, it's once they start paying you they treat you like **** lol.


All Aboard and Oxfam. they treated me like a sack of ****.
Reply 12
All good advice thanks.

Original post by Nathanielle
(May I ask, what you have studied and what career you have in mind? Just generally ...)


Studied history at a top 10 uni. I have had sectors which I've been interested in the long term, such as public policy, third sector, politics, but the vast majority of the jobs that I've applied to have been entry level office jobs and the like. (I know there will be people who go 'arts degree blaah' but the graduate prospects for a good history degree are better than most sciences). I am, and always have been, very aware that the things I am interested in are hugely competitive, and while I do apply for suitable things when they arise, I am certainly not expecting to go directly into that. Most jobs have been admin, data entry, that sort of thing. I just don't want yet another job where my main purpose in life is to be told to **** off by strangers. Recently I have given up on even thinking about that though, and just need anything which will enable me to move out.

Original post by sherlockfan
All Aboard and Oxfam. they treated me like a sack of ****.


Ah yeah I have heard bad things about Oxfam before actually. Ridiculous really when you are working for free, what did they do?
I can't say my life is great either, I'm also unemployed. I volunteer but I feel like it's time I should be putting something back into society instead of living off ESA and yet I know I can't because of my crippling mental health problems. Just be thankful you're not in a job which makes your depression worse.
Original post by dnaalpha
All good advice thanks.



Studied history at a top 10 uni. I have had sectors which I've been interested in the long term, such as public policy, third sector, politics, but the vast majority of the jobs that I've applied to have been entry level office jobs and the like. (I know there will be people who go 'arts degree blaah' but the graduate prospects for a good history degree are better than most sciences). I am, and always have been, very aware that the things I am interested in are hugely competitive, and while I do apply for suitable things when they arise, I am certainly not expecting to go directly into that. Most jobs have been admin, data entry, that sort of thing. I just don't want yet another job where my main purpose in life is to be told to **** off by strangers. Recently I have given up on even thinking about that though, and just need anything which will enable me to move out.



Ah yeah I have heard bad things about Oxfam before actually. Ridiculous really when you are working for free, what did they do?


the manager at all aboard was just an all round horrible person who barely spoke English. then the manager at Oxfam, whose English was also poor, said i wasn't good enough to work at the till, so i was confined to doing menial tasks that a monkey could do. do you know how humiliating it is to be told youre not good enough...at a charity shop?! if im not good enough for a voluntary position what are the chances of me getting a real job?
Original post by jaydoh
I can't say my life is great either, I'm also unemployed. I volunteer but I feel like it's time I should be putting something back into society instead of living off ESA and yet I know I can't because of my crippling mental health problems. Just be thankful you're not in a job which makes your depression worse.


hey don't feel bad. youre already contributing to society by volunteering. I'm on ESA for the same reason as you are.
Original post by dnaalpha
Studied history at a top 10 uni. I have had sectors which I've been interested in the long term, such as public policy, third sector, politics, but the vast majority of the jobs that I've applied to have been entry level office jobs and the like. (I know there will be people who go 'arts degree blaah' but the graduate prospects for a good history degree are better than most sciences). I am, and always have been, very aware that the things I am interested in are hugely competitive, and while I do apply for suitable things when they arise, I am certainly not expecting to go directly into that. Most jobs have been admin, data entry, that sort of thing.

Hm, so it looks like you have to find a job which allows you to persue your longterm aim. Maybe teaching? (Of course only if you could find, you profit from that, as that would allow you to work in a real, paid job for some time and save up some money?) Or you could just look where we have elections in Europe at this time and work for a campaign? Or searching for a specialisation, networking, ... You have to put yourself apart a bit from the others. (Although i have no idea, what you have already done, of course.)

The biggest problem with doing an art degree is - in my view - the big amount of unpaid experience you need to get the real interesting jobs.
Reply 17
Original post by jaydoh
Just be thankful you're not in a job which makes your depression worse.


Hahah oh god... my job has made my depression enormously worse. It has turned me into the self loathing wreck I am now.


Original post by sherlockfan
do you know how humiliating it is to be told youre not good enough...at a charity shop?! if im not good enough for a voluntary position what are the chances of me getting a real job?


Yes, I have been rejected from so many menial voluntary positions it's unreal.
24,unemployed,single with chronic arthritis.Sounds pretty c*ap on paper right ?But what can one do but try.I worked damn hard to get my degree &just because I am not employed now doesn't mean I won't ever be.Plenty of life left.The only thing you can do is work towards positive things
For me that is going to college, volunteering and working towards better health.
Original post by dnaalpha
Hahah oh god... my job has made my depression enormously worse. It has turned me into the self loathing wreck I am now.




Yes, I have been rejected from so many menial voluntary positions it's unreal.


i already had a voluntary job and the manager said she wasn't happy with me working at the till even though she had "trained" me to use it. after that, I left.

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