My boyfriend called me pathetic.. does this happen in healthy relationship?

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016yo
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#1
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#1
well

we are arguing about he went to some place that he hates to go with his sister. Other times, when I asked him to go with me, he always refused.

So I was little upset and said why he wouldnt go to that place with me, but with his sister.

He said she's a little depressed these days , thats why he went
then I understood and said oh yeah everyone gets depressed these days.

I meant that "yeah I understand. Everyone gets depressed these days.. exam time " but he thinks that I insulted his sister and called me i am pathetic.

but really, How can he say that to me?????????
Is this my fault????????????????? I explained to him I did not mean to insult his sister.


but he just freaked out on me and called me pathetic.
Although he apologized, I cannot get over how he could call me pathetic over what I said.

Is this my fault?????? I dont even wanna talk about this to my friend because it is embarrassing.
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TurboCretin
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It sounds like you used some awkward phrasing and he misinterpreted it. He clearly thought you were belittling his sister's depression, which is at least understandable cause for calling you pathetic.
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LightBlueSoldier
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(Original post by 016yo)
well

we are arguing about he went to some place that he hates to go with his sister. Other times, when I asked him to go with me, he always refused.

So I was little upset and said why he wouldnt go to that place with me, but with his sister.

He said she's a little depressed these days , thats why he went
then I understood and said oh yeah everyone gets depressed these days.

I meant that "yeah I understand. Everyone gets depressed these days.. exam time " but he thinks that I insulted his sister and called me i am pathetic.

but really, How can he say that to me?????????
Is this my fault????????????????? I explained to him I did not mean to insult his sister.


but he just freaked out on me and called me pathetic.
Although he apologized, I cannot get over how he could call me pathetic over what I said.

Is this my fault?????? I dont even wanna talk about this to my friend because it is embarrassing.
I've been called way worse things by my SOs for no real reason. Honesty, I don't think you should worry about it. I'm sure he was just venting.


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EarthlingyThingy
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#4
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You said one thing that was interpreted one way, he said another thing that was interpreted another way.

Things like this happen all of the time.

Robotic reply solution =

"You called me pathetic. That hurt. I'm sorry for what I said, that was not what I meant. I meant [insert meaning] yet apologise for seemingly insulting her. Is she OK? Shall we go for [insert generic couples evening e.g. cinema]"

Then hug and discuss further depending on levels of social competence.

/robot

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aWildPidgey
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#5
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Oh no! Little princess got called pathetic!

Trivial human.
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ImBadWithNames
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#6
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I'm just going to say you should calm down with your use of punctuation. The string of '?'s where not necessary.


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ChaoticButterfly
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You had an argument. Wupty do. Kiss and make up.
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consumed by stuff
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Perfectly acceptable mid argument insult. He's clever too, he went for the moral highground stance. Rather than calling you a **** and all of a sudden its anything goes.
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SophiaKeuning
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I don't think he's really in the wrong tbh. If his sisters depressed that may not just be about exam stress, depression can be a very serious issue that has quite an effect on a family, you should be a bit more supportive maybe.

Even if he did misinterpret what you said, what you intended to say wasn't really that supportive.
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SophiaKeuning
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(Original post by aWildPidgey)
Oh no! Little princess got called pathetic!

Trivial human.

Not very nice calling someone a trivial human?

P.S. Your sig is so obtuse.
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brownbearxo
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(Original post by aWildPidgey)
Oh no! Little princess got called pathetic!

Trivial human.
The trivial human bit just killed the joke for me, overdone

Op, you made me LOL
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Eva.Gregoria
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If this is what you call a major argument in your relationship, you should be grateful.

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ChaoticButterfly
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In a health relationship you should be able to argue.
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Mankytoes
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#14
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(Original post by 016yo)
well

we are arguing about he went to some place that he hates to go with his sister. Other times, when I asked him to go with me, he always refused.

So I was little upset and said why he wouldnt go to that place with me, but with his sister.

He said she's a little depressed these days , thats why he went
then I understood and said oh yeah everyone gets depressed these days.

I meant that "yeah I understand. Everyone gets depressed these days.. exam time " but he thinks that I insulted his sister and called me i am pathetic.

but really, How can he say that to me?????????
Is this my fault????????????????? I explained to him I did not mean to insult his sister.


but he just freaked out on me and called me pathetic.
Although he apologized, I cannot get over how he could call me pathetic over what I said.

Is this my fault?????? I dont even wanna talk about this to my friend because it is embarrassing.
If you get this upset when someone says something like this to you, you aren't mature enough for a relationship.
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Twiiiiinx
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#15
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#15
I have been talking to this guy . He did not want a relationship and wanted to be friends with benefits. I called him pathetic the other day and blocked him.
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katiiiee
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#16
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i understand exactly how you feel and i also understand how he feels. i'm the same way the little things stand out to me. the certain words stick in my mind and i cant get them out. you didn't mean any harm you were just trying to say that you understood what he was talking about. And for all the people being mean to this girl for being sad about being called pathetic... you all are horrible people, she could be in the first stage of a relationship when its mostly lovey dovey stuff. not every relationship has major arguments. but don't worry i'm sure he didn't mean much by it he was just trying to defend his sister.
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