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i dont think its jealousy

Firstly I’m sorry to be writing in anonymous
I have this problem, my bf really likes this character in a tv show we watch, to him she’s pretty, nice, cute and a girl of his dreams.
In fact when I started to watch the show I didn’t really find her “special” but when he talks about her he always mentions how beautiful she is etc: I always change the topic and he knows I don’t like talking about her so he often teases me about her.
Now I want to be like her, not because she’s the person I like or admire but because I want everything to be perfect in our relationship, I don’t think I’m jealous of her but I often compare myself to her and end up being miserable. I just wanted some advice to see if I should change myself or not, I really dono what to do :frown:

Reply 1

Cirsium

19

*rolls eyes* think about this rationally - NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
He loves you for who YOU are
Every guy has a fantasy and it's ok to try and satisfy that once in a while but jeez he doesn't want you to become her
Who is she anyway?
And by the way - yes, you're jealous

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Bekaboo

*rolls eyes* think about this rationally - NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
He loves you for who YOU are
Every guy has a fantasy and it's ok to try and satisfy that once in a while but jeez he doesn't want you to become her
Who is she anyway?
And by the way - yes, you're jealous

lol am i jealous? i dono i dont go burning red or i dont feel anything when he talkes about her apart from a feeling that says i'm not good enough, maybe im just being stupid lol
i know he donst want me to become her but i still want to, cause i want to be that ideal gf for him

Reply 3

randum_nandom

i think its pointless lol, dnt try to besomeone your not cause it always causes problems and your bf mit think "what the hells wrong wit her all of a sudden" lol

Reply 4

black_mamba

14

Come on have some self-respect, why would you want to change yourself to please someone?

Reply 5

Tyler Durden

17

I don't fully understand this attitude; a girl I once got with told me she didn't get with me at an earlier date because she thought I didn't like her as I mentioned that Rachel Stevens was quite hot. :rolleyes:

Stop trying to be the girl. If he mentions her, think of some cute guy from the TV and say that you like him. Out of interest, who is it? I bet it's Summer from the OC...

Reply 6

generalebriety

16

It must be quite disconcerting though... to have your boyfriend say "god I really fancy ___" to you.

Yes, you're jealous, and no, for ****'s sake don't turn into her. :eek3:

If he's genuinely hurting you, tell him that and he'll stop if he loves you and won't if he doesn't. And if he doesn't tell him to piss off and get with the girl off the TV. :biggrin:

Who is it?

who is she?

character? i hope its not a cartoon :eek:

really dont try to change yourself, im sure he likes/loves you because of who you are originally :smile:

Reply 9

khil

15

Anonymous

Firstly I’m sorry to be writing in anonymous
I have this problem, my bf really likes this character in a tv show we watch, to him she’s pretty, nice, cute and a girl of his dreams.
In fact when I started to watch the show I didn’t really find her “special” but when he talks about her he always mentions how beautiful she is etc: I always change the topic and he knows I don’t like talking about her so he often teases me about her.
Now I want to be like her, not because she’s the person I like or admire but because I want everything to be perfect in our relationship, I don’t think I’m jealous of her but I often compare myself to her and end up being miserable. I just wanted some advice to see if I should change myself or not, I really dono what to do :frown:

No no no no no!

Don't change yourself for him. If he doesn't love you for who you are then he doesn't love you anyway, so what's the point in changing yourself for someone who does not value you?

If I were you I'd question if your bf even loves you. C'mon, surely if you love someone you would be more considerate than that!? Does he know how much it's affecting you and getting to you? I suggest tell him and talk to him about it. He needs to be told.

I had a short thing with the same thing too. My bf and I have a habit of watching Friends DVDs together and sometimes in random episodes my bf would go "Oh Monica is so pretty." or "Don't you think she's so beautiful?" or "She's so gorgeous in this episode!" And now, I have no problem with him finding Monica attractive - I talk with him about who we think are pretty lol in terms of celebs sometimes. But he just said it too often until I was like "Hey!" and I told him to stop. He laughed and and teased me first, and then apologised and said if I wanted him to, he won't say it again. I don't require that, and I doubt he'd stop completely anyway, but at least he was trying to be considerate and his comments did cease. Not completely because sometimes I'd say how pretty Monica is to him lol.

Point being - someone who loves you will consider your feelings. If your bf fails to do that, you should question whether he loves you and thus whether you should be with him.

Reply 10

Sharp_Shooter

1

Anonymous

Firstly I’m sorry to be writing in anonymous
I have this problem, my bf really likes this character in a tv show we watch, to him she’s pretty, nice, cute and a girl of his dreams.
In fact when I started to watch the show I didn’t really find her “special” but when he talks about her he always mentions how beautiful she is etc: I always change the topic and he knows I don’t like talking about her so he often teases me about her.
Now I want to be like her, not because she’s the person I like or admire but because I want everything to be perfect in our relationship, I don’t think I’m jealous of her but I often compare myself to her and end up being miserable. I just wanted some advice to see if I should change myself or not, I really dono what to do :frown:

FFs, she's a ficitional character (which am assuming she is), thats why she's 'perfect'. No matter how much you try, you can never measure up to her because she's not real.

i dont think its jealousy

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