is the middle child treated differently?

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Poll: is the middle child treated differently?
Yes :) (4)
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No :( (0)
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Sometimes :/ (1)
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princess:)
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#1
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#1
okay, don't hate on me guys this is my FIRST thread!

for my English CA i have to come up with something persuasive so i'm doing 'Why the middle child should be given more attention'
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princess:)
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#2
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#2
anyone?
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princess:)
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#3
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#3
SOMEONE?!
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Sabuntu
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#4
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#4
(Original post by princess:))
SOMEONE?!
Hey calm down you need patience

I think parenting styles get progressively better for each child. I think that the middle child gets a very balanced experience. The first child tends to get the worst parenting and it tends to stick for a while. As a first child I often get jelous when I see how my parents treat my younger siblings but hey that is just how it is.
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carrotstar
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#5
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#5
(Original post by princess:))
SOMEONE?!
So what is it that you want to find out from us? I'm an only child, so this doesn't apply to me, but maybe give it a day to allow the thread to be seen by a middle child? You could set up an online survey - people like surveys
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Padwas
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#6
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#6
oldest - most time spent with
youngest - spoilt

as for the middle one … they are in the middle for attention and stuff
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PinkMobilePhone
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#7
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I have 4 kids so you're welcome to ask me some questions, but I don't really think I treat my middle 2 particularly differently because they are middle children, but I treat my children according to their ages and how responsible they are I guess.

If you have any specific questions I'll be happy to answer them.

I, myself, am an only child though.

(Oh and by the way, have a bit of patience. You posted, and then less than a minute later you posted again, and then a minute later you posted AGAIN. Crikey, give people time to respond!)
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princess:)
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#8
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#8
(Original post by carrotstar)
So what is it that you want to find out from us? I'm an only child, so this doesn't apply to me, but maybe give it a day to allow the thread to be seen by a middle child? You could set up an online survey - people like surveys
Thanks, i will do
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College_Dropout
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#9
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#9
More attention? What planet you on bro?
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flyyoufools
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#10
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#10
Yep but every child is treated differently. I was a middle child and my argument was that my sister got attention with her schoolwork and my brother got attention because he was so young. If you want an argument though, I used to misbehave and play up just so I'd get some more attention even though I wasn't a 'bad' kid. I also used to lie and exaggerate everything because I realised my parents were more interested in the fake stuff. My parents also ignored me to the point they didn't realise my sister and her friends bullied me emotionally and physically for years and my brother used to physically hurt me all the time then scream and cry and lie if I told them which turned it back on me. If I didn't have to work for that attention then a lot of that could have been avoided.
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princess:)
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#11
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#11
(Original post by flyyoufools)
Yep but every child is treated differently. I was a middle child and my argument was that my sister got attention with her schoolwork and my brother got attention because he was so young. If you want an argument though, I used to misbehave and play up just so I'd get some more attention even though I wasn't a 'bad' kid. I also used to lie and exaggerate everything because I realised my parents were more interested in the fake stuff. My parents also ignored me to the point they didn't realise my sister and her friends bullied me emotionally and physically for years and my brother used to physically hurt me all the time then scream and cry and lie if I told them which turned it back on me. If I didn't have to work for that attention then a lot of that could have been avoided.
Oh my gosh, i have never heard it getting as intense as this! I hope that you are okay now
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princess:)
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#12
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(Original post by College_Dropout)
More attention? What planet you on bro?
i would like more depth than this, it needs to be developed enough for a controlled assessment
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princess:)
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#13
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#13
(Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
I have 4 kids so you're welcome to ask me some questions, but I don't really think I treat my middle 2 particularly differently because they are middle children, but I treat my children according to their ages and how responsible they are I guess.

If you have any specific questions I'll be happy to answer them.

I, myself, am an only child though.

(Oh and by the way, have a bit of patience. You posted, and then less than a minute later you posted again, and then a minute later you posted AGAIN. Crikey, give people time to respond!)
Thank you! The joys of having 4 children (I am 2nd of 4)!

Are your children close with age and do they get along well with each other, particularly with the middle two? Do the middle two have specific, similar characteristics that the eldest and youngest don't have?

I'm so sorry about asking so many questions!
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PinkMobilePhone
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#14
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(Original post by princess:))
Thank you! The joys of having 4 children (I am 2nd of 4)!

Are your children close with age and do they get along well with each other, particularly with the middle two? Do the middle two have specific, similar characteristics that the eldest and youngest don't have?

I'm so sorry about asking so many questions!
They're 8 years, 6 years, 4 years, and 8 months old

Between 1 and 2 there are 1 year 10 months
Between 2 and 3 there are 2 years 1 month
Between 3 and 4 there's 3 years 9 months.

The middle two do generally get along with other, but child 2 tends to prefer playing with child 1.
Academically they're only 1 school year between them (child 1 is a September baby, so she's one of the eldest in Year 3, whereas child 2 is an August baby, so he's one of the youngest in Year 2).
By contrast, child 3 is still in nursery, and doesn't start primary school until September.
So I think child 2 sees the youngest two kids as "little kids" whereas he and child 1 are "big kids" already in school, if that makes sense.

When they were little, before children 3 and 4 came along, child 2 used to follow child 1 around like a puppy dog. He wanted to be with her all the time. She, by contrast, just used to push him away a bit and want to do her own thing.
So you'd have thought that when child 3 came along, child 2 would have reverted to trying to play with him instead.
Sometimes he does, but he'll always try child 1 first to get her attention. Only if that fails will be revert to child 3.

HOWEVER, since child 4 has come along, child 2 has become very very protective over his little baby brother. He immediately sees to him if he needs his nose blowing or anything like that.

Child 3 is still adjusting to the change from having previously been the youngest child, to being another middle child along with child 2. Child 2 is obviously used to it by now, but for child 3 it's still a relatively new thing, and I think he tries to get attention by acting like a baby still.

Child 3 is quite happy being with either child 1 or child 2, he doesn't have a favourite. He just enjoys having people to play with.
He likes child 4 too but I think he finds him a bit boring as he's only a baby.

Hmm as for similar characteristics, yeah I guess in some ways, but that's largely because child 2 and child 3 are both boys, and they're 6 and 4, so not that dissimilar in age.
Child 1 is a girl, and child 4 is a baby (a boy, but nevertheless a baby), so it's kinda more circumstance that has made them similar.

Generally though they're all pretty different.

In summary :

Child 1 is very independent and extremely intelligent (she's a Year 3 pupil in a Year 4 class doing Year 5 work!) She's also very bossy and wants to get her own way when it comes to games and so on. She's responsible in terms of looking after herself - she makes breakfast and so on. She likes doing things on her own and gets a bit irritated if her younger brothers bug her. I think in the grand scheme of things she'd have preferred it if she had been an only child. She grudgingly helps her brothers out if they ask her for help, but draws the line at things like wiping the baby's nose if it's runny. She's prone to dramatic outbursts if she feels that she's in the right about something but is being treated unjustly. She's very inactive and prefers sitting on her arse and doing things like reading rather than playing out.

Child 2 is very immature for his age, struggles academically, and can be somewhat clingy to my husband and I if we want to go out. He's not particularly responsible. However he's not very bossy and has a much more friendly and approachable personality. He tries to get attention from his older sister a lot. He has become something of a mother hen towards his baby brother. He doesn't mind playing with Child 3, but prefers to try and get attention from Child 1. Sometimes he pretends he can't do things even though he can, because he prefers others to do things for him. He's very active and likes playing out.

Child 3 tries to act the baby even though he's not any more. He needs constant cuddles and kisses. He doesn't mind who he plays with, as long as it's somebody playing with him. Because Child 4 is so young, he likes him, but doesn't find him particularly interesting. He seems quite bright but we're just in the process of teaching him to read. He's picking it up quicker than Child 2 did though. He moans a lot, about pretty much anything. That's probably age related!

Child 4 is a baby. He likes the tape measure and finds the dog hilarious
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flyyoufools
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#15
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#15
(Original post by princess:))
Oh my gosh, i have never heard it getting as intense as this! I hope that you are okay now
Yeah but my parents didn't do it intentionally and, after talking to them recently, they genuinely didn't realise it until I pointed out some stuff to them and explained it from my perspective. I don't think any parent intentionally treats their children differently but that it just happens for some reason or another.
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princess:)
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#16
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#16
PinkMobilePhone - your children sound so adorable and you sound like a great mother! I'm sure that they will grow up to be lovely and full of personality.

What you have said is definitely useful and I will include such topics in my controlled assessment.

You have given me the information that I needed. Thank you SO MUCH!
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gemmam
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#17
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#17
Im 3rd born out of four so Im a middle child along with one of my older sisters. I remember feeling a bit pushed out when I was younger, but by the time I started secondary school my sisters had either moved out or were hardly ever around, so I suppose it was more of a older/youngest situation between my brother and I. My sister had more of a middle child experience growing up and she tended to do things to seek approval or attention from our parents quite a lot; she still sometimes does it now even though she's in her mid 30s. However I don't know if that's to do with her being a middle child or just her personality.

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