Ok. Firstly sorry for anon but this is a problem i'm pretty screwed up about and don't really want anyone I know to know. Plus I know it's pathetic and a lot of people will think i'm over reacting but i'm upset and just need to let of steam.
I hate myself. It's all stemming from my looks. I'm generally ok and deal with it but it's photographs that cause my problems. Self taken photo's in a mirror are fine because they look different and I look ok. But if someone takes one of me I nearly burst into tears because I honestly feel I look deformed, i've already had my nose fixed (I broke it) and although I can feel it's small and bump free in photographs it looks huge and like it did before it was fixed. I also feel I look like a boy and have issues with the shape of my face, the size of my eyes, lack of eyelashes, tinyness of my mouth, my teeth, my skin looks odd, my chin, my hair, my neck..I know this sounds incrediably melodramatic but i've never told anyone how I feel and I just feel like I need to let it off my chest.
I look so different in the mirror, not that I think I'm great when I look in the mirror but I find I look ok. But if anyone was to see what I see then look at a photograph of me they'd honestly think it was two totally different people. I look nothing like what I actually do. I can't tell anyone because generally things like this look like attention seeking and I couldn't bear someone telling me 'you're really pretty' because I feel embaressed that they think I could believe it when i'm so horrible looking. I always feel lads are taking the piss when they make comments and I just feel uncomfortable in my skin and then come across a bit a loof and bitchy. argh. sorry for the length of this and also for being so self-absorbed but I just wanted..well I don't know, perhaps someone who understands?