The Student Room Group

Really hating the way I look

Ok. Firstly sorry for anon but this is a problem i'm pretty screwed up about and don't really want anyone I know to know. Plus I know it's pathetic and a lot of people will think i'm over reacting but i'm upset and just need to let of steam.

I hate myself. It's all stemming from my looks. I'm generally ok and deal with it but it's photographs that cause my problems. Self taken photo's in a mirror are fine because they look different and I look ok. But if someone takes one of me I nearly burst into tears because I honestly feel I look deformed, i've already had my nose fixed (I broke it) and although I can feel it's small and bump free in photographs it looks huge and like it did before it was fixed. I also feel I look like a boy and have issues with the shape of my face, the size of my eyes, lack of eyelashes, tinyness of my mouth, my teeth, my skin looks odd, my chin, my hair, my neck..I know this sounds incrediably melodramatic but i've never told anyone how I feel and I just feel like I need to let it off my chest.

I look so different in the mirror, not that I think I'm great when I look in the mirror but I find I look ok. But if anyone was to see what I see then look at a photograph of me they'd honestly think it was two totally different people. I look nothing like what I actually do. I can't tell anyone because generally things like this look like attention seeking and I couldn't bear someone telling me 'you're really pretty' because I feel embaressed that they think I could believe it when i'm so horrible looking. I always feel lads are taking the piss when they make comments and I just feel uncomfortable in my skin and then come across a bit a loof and bitchy. argh. sorry for the length of this and also for being so self-absorbed but I just wanted..well I don't know, perhaps someone who understands?

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Reply 1
Anonymous
Ok. Firstly sorry for anon but this is a problem i'm pretty screwed up about and don't really want anyone I know to know. Plus I know it's pathetic and a lot of people will think i'm over reacting but i'm upset and just need to let of steam.

I hate myself. It's all stemming from my looks. I'm generally ok and deal with it but it's photographs that cause my problems. Self taken photo's in a mirror are fine because they look different and I look ok. But if someone takes one of me I nearly burst into tears because I honestly feel I look deformed, i've already had my nose fixed (I broke it) and although I can feel it's small and bump free in photographs it looks huge and like it did before it was fixed. I also feel I look like a boy and have issues with the shape of my face, the size of my eyes, lack of eyelashes, tinyness of my mouth, my teeth, my skin looks odd, my chin, my hair, my neck..I know this sounds incrediably melodramatic but i've never told anyone how I feel and I just feel like I need to let it off my chest.

I look so different in the mirror, not that I think I'm great when I look in the mirror but I find I look ok. But if anyone was to see what I see then look at a photograph of me they'd honestly think it was two totally different people. I look nothing like what I actually do. I can't tell anyone because generally things like this look like attention seeking and I couldn't bear someone telling me 'you're really pretty' because I feel embaressed that they think I could believe it when i'm so horrible looking. I always feel lads are taking the piss when they make comments and I just feel uncomfortable in my skin and then come across a bit a loof and bitchy. argh. sorry for the length of this and also for being so self-absorbed but I just wanted..well I don't know, perhaps someone who understands?


You might not be photogenic - I wouldn't worry though , there are plenty of people that are not. But look good in real life.
every1 hates their photos!!! i delete nearly every picture i find of me on friends computers!!! best thing to do is just not worry about it, im sure u dont look like that in real life, and tbh every1 has seen the photo so no point stressing about it. if u hear guys taking the piss its more often then not because ur shy - in which case u should start acting more confident and people will stop saying these things, also if ppl are saying stuff and u then act on it they will then also say oooo they done this etc so dont really do it unless ur convinced it will make u look better. i hope this helps
Reply 3
Photographs are always the same, some people are photogenic, other's aren't... they are not really a perfect reflection on how other people see you:smile:
Reply 4
Anonymous
every1 hates their photos!!! i delete nearly every picture i find of me on friends computers!!! best thing to do is just not worry about it, im sure u dont look like that in real life, and tbh every1 has seen the photo so no point stressing about it. if u hear guys taking the piss its more often then not because ur shy - in which case u should start acting more confident and people will stop saying these things, also if ppl are saying stuff and u then act on it they will then also say oooo they done this etc so dont really do it unless ur convinced it will make u look better. i hope this helps


I agree with everyone hating their photos point. But what I don't understand why guys will take the piss out of girls that are shy. Being a guy, I sometimes have found myself attracted to shy girls because they are quite mysterious.
Reply 5
Anonymous
Ok. Firstly sorry for anon but this is a problem i'm pretty screwed up about and don't really want anyone I know to know. Plus I know it's pathetic and a lot of people will think i'm over reacting but i'm upset and just need to let of steam.

I hate myself. It's all stemming from my looks. I'm generally ok and deal with it but it's photographs that cause my problems. Self taken photo's in a mirror are fine because they look different and I look ok. But if someone takes one of me I nearly burst into tears because I honestly feel I look deformed, i've already had my nose fixed (I broke it) and although I can feel it's small and bump free in photographs it looks huge and like it did before it was fixed. I also feel I look like a boy and have issues with the shape of my face, the size of my eyes, lack of eyelashes, tinyness of my mouth, my teeth, my skin looks odd, my chin, my hair, my neck..I know this sounds incrediably melodramatic but i've never told anyone how I feel and I just feel like I need to let it off my chest.

I look so different in the mirror, not that I think I'm great when I look in the mirror but I find I look ok. But if anyone was to see what I see then look at a photograph of me they'd honestly think it was two totally different people. I look nothing like what I actually do. I can't tell anyone because generally things like this look like attention seeking and I couldn't bear someone telling me 'you're really pretty' because I feel embaressed that they think I could believe it when i'm so horrible looking. I always feel lads are taking the piss when they make comments and I just feel uncomfortable in my skin and then come across a bit a loof and bitchy. argh. sorry for the length of this and also for being so self-absorbed but I just wanted..well I don't know, perhaps someone who understands?



woah, that post could well be me! :p: i know exactly how you feel.
Reply 6
I always look absolutely awful in photos, but I've had no problems in real-life!!
Reply 7
Yes I understand everyone hates their photographs but I feel I look deformed in them. Hard to explain but I look NOTHING like what I do to myself (when I look in the mirror) and obviously a photograph is a better judge of the way a person looks than their view in the mirror.

I'm not meaning guys make comments about me being shy but more if a guy chats me up - I just feel like it's all a big piss take and I feel like I should ignore them so they don't think I have ideas above my station sort of thing. Sorry this is all so pathetic I know but i'm having a bad day lol.
I saw a picture in a newspaper today of a man who has had a face transplant (the second one in the world, I believe) which he had to undergo after a bear attack that left several of his facial features - lips, nose etc. ruined. I thought to myself, 'hey, I may not be Mr. Good-looks but I should be extremely grateful, considering this guy's plight, for what I have, which might not be much, but at least it's something'.
i no the whole deformed look, trust me if u want ill send u 2 pics of me, one a very very very bad pic, another wat i hope is a true reflection of what i look like.(more often then not i get the deformed look pictures, i.e. just recently went on holiday of 100 photos i found 1 which i think is a true reflection of wat i look like)
I feel I look deformed when I look in a mirror.
Reply 11
Pretty simple my friend, some people do not photograph well, I don't know how or why but it happens. But if your happy with the way you look in the mirror in a "real time" not "quick frame" like a photograph, don't worry about it:smile:.
Reply 12
Anonymous
i no the whole deformed look, trust me if u want ill send u 2 pics of me, one a very very very bad pic, another wat i hope is a true reflection of what i look like.(more often then not i get the deformed look pictures, i.e. just recently went on holiday of 100 photos i found 1 which i think is a true reflection of wat i look like)


Glad i'm not alone. I feel like a lunatic because it sounds so ridiculous being so upset by photographs. Can I just ask do you look at the photo and feel people would point you out as being 'odd' looking? Or do you just generally think you look bad?
Reply 13
I've posted this before so i'll just copy and paste:

As for liking your reflection more than the way you look in pictures it's perfectly natural. As you get used to seeing yourself in the mirror that's the perception you build up and then when you see yourself the way people see you it looks weird. They've proven it with babies too.

I don't like my photo being taken, but i know of a girl that's like that - but i can't understand it personally because i think she looks amazing.
both!!! i think i look bad leading to me believe most ppl would also point me out as maybe not odd looking but ugly !! :frown: i just hope that how i see myself in the mirror is the way every1 else see's me, and tbh i find that having ppl look at the pictures and agree with u helps, i.e. dont ask a friend wat they think of the picture say "whoah this is a really bad picture!!" and hope they agree with u!
Reply 15
Cheers everyone. I'm feeling somewhat better. G4ry I understand what you're saying about getting used to looking at yourself in the mirror BUT how come I look SO different, i'm meaning different shape face, eyes, even down to the daft things like my eyebrows. I honestly look (to me obv) like a whole new person in a photograph, I cannot relate to it what so ever.
Anonymous

I'm not meaning guys make comments about me being shy but more if a guy chats me up - I just feel like it's all a big piss take and I feel like I should ignore them so they don't think I have ideas above my station sort of thing. Sorry this is all so pathetic I know but i'm having a bad day lol.


If a guy chats you up, take it as a confidence boost, it means that you are attractive and they fancy you. But yes, I guess it is all psychological - do you think "why is he chatting me up? I am unattractive, so is he taking the piss?"
lol the face shape and eyebrows applies to me aswell, i swear it looks like my left eyebrow is half the size of my right eye brow in pictures!!v.weird!!
Reply 18
xyz2k6
If a guy chats you up, take it as a confidence boost, it means that you are attractive and they fancy you. But yes, I guess it is all psychological - do you think "why is he chatting me up? I am unattractive, so is he taking the piss?"


I feel a) They are just after sex and think i'm an easy option as i'm unattractive b) It's them taking the piss, winding me up. c) They get stuck with me, this is when it's a my friend's pulling your friend situation so they come on to me because they feel they have to.

I realise i'm obviously majorly paranoid but it's the way I feel and it's has an effect on my relationships. Wow I sound so screwed up but hey i'm trying to be honest.
Reply 19
Anonymous
G4ry I understand what you're saying about getting used to looking at yourself in the mirror BUT how come I look SO different, i'm meaning different shape face, eyes, even down to the daft things like my eyebrows. I honestly look (to me obv) like a whole new person in a photograph, I cannot relate to it what so ever.


It's about perceptions. You hear about these girls who look in the mirror and tell themselves they're fat when they're bordering on anorexia. You will look different to the way you see yourself in a mirror as what you're seeing is a reflection. But i doubt you do really look "that" different to the way you see yourself in the mirror. It's just something you probably won't get used to, but the more you see yourself in pictures the less shock it'll be.