Eating disorder? I want help, but feel alone and don't know who to talk to Watch

Hoda11
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Hi,


I'm 21, and for the past year I have had an eating disorder, well I restricted calories and lost a lot of weight, because I was overweight, but I have started to feel so low and depressed since September I don't like doing almost most things I also have this intense fear of being big again,I'm 5'5 and at my heaviest I was 76kg. I used to be bubbly, but I feel low and depressed and think about food all the time, from first thing in the morning to last thing, last week I started eating loads, because my nan, bless her started expressing her worries and because of her age I didn't want her to worry because she has her own problems to think about. So I've gained about 2 pounds but I'm still under the 45kg mark. Anyways today I have felt really low and have been crying almost 2 hours, I really want to get better but I don't know how. I have booked an appointment with my gp on Friday but I don't know what to say, and I have no clue about how to admit this to my parents... Even though my mum suspects I have an eating disorder... I don't know who to talk to I feel so alone, what shall I do? I want to be normal again
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Paralove
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You aren't alone. There are many people who have been and are going through eating disorders. A friend of mine had anorexia a few years back and was honestly one of the hardest things I have had to see someone go through.

Definitely talk to your parents, and see a doctor. They should be able to send you to a dietician or similar to view your eating habits and help you increase portion sizes.

Remember, eating healthily doesn't mean eating less. My friend was a competitive swimmer and had to give up for almost a year. She's perfectly healthy now, exercises loads but she has always loved sports so it isn't in a bad way, and teaches swimming lessons.

The best thing to do is to get help even if you feel like it is embarrassing. It isn't. It happens to plenty of people. You recognise and want to get better which is the first step!!
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BlackMagicV
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One thing in particular that has really helped me is keeping a diary of whenever I feel low, so that I can get my emotions down on paper and also find the cause of my despair. I have also learned to open up about any issues that I have, though I have never told my parents what these issues are. They aren't quite the same as yours, but spiralling into despair is an awful state to be in. I spoke to my friend's counsellor about my monsters and she really helped me to face them
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Chihiro95
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(Original post by Hoda11)
Hi,


I'm 21, and for the past year I have had an eating disorder, well I restricted calories and lost a lot of weight, because I was overweight, but I have started to feel so low and depressed since September I don't like doing almost most things I also have this intense fear of being big again,I'm 5'5 and at my heaviest I was 76kg. I used to be bubbly, but I feel low and depressed and think about food all the time, from first thing in the morning to last thing, last week I started eating loads, because my nan, bless her started expressing her worries and because of her age I didn't want her to worry because she has her own problems to think about. So I've gained about 2 pounds but I'm still under the 45kg mark. Anyways today I have felt really low and have been crying almost 2 hours, I really want to get better but I don't know how. I have booked an appointment with my gp on Friday but I don't know what to say, and I have no clue about how to admit this to my parents... Even though my mum suspects I have an eating disorder... I don't know who to talk to I feel so alone, what shall I do? I want to be normal again
Ok, first things first, I commend you on recognising you need help as a lot of eating disorder sufferers leave it very late to get help. If you can, tell a family member or a friend what's going on as you need the support. As for who to speak to, I find ED recovery blogs and the B-eat website to be very helpful in terms of getting the correct information, finding coping mechanisms and letting out my frustrations. They're also largely anonymous so there's no fear of judgement. Remember that any slip ups you may have are a natural part of the progress.

Remember that you are not alone in this. I'm bulimic and a few of my friends suffer/ed from Anorexia. We're all much better than we used to be and a lot happier too. But it didn't happen overnight. I promise you that this will all pass, so long as you maintain the will for recovery.
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Hoda11
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(Original post by Chihiro95)
Ok, first things first, I commend you on recognising you need help as a lot of eating disorder sufferers leave it very late to get help. If you can, tell a family member or a friend what's going on as you need the support. As for who to speak to, I find ED recovery blogs and the B-eat website to be very helpful in terms of getting the correct information, finding coping mechanisms and letting out my frustrations. They're also largely anonymous so there's no fear of judgement. Remember that any slip ups you may have are a natural part of the progress.

Remember that you are not alone in this. I'm bulimic and a few of my friends suffer/ed from Anorexia. We're all much better than we used to be and a lot happier too. But it didn't happen overnight. I promise you that this will all pass, so long as you maintain the will for recovery.
I understand, and although I feel really down, I'm not sure what to say to my doctor/ parents I feel embarrassed because I'm unable to control my feelings and what normal people are able to do... Such as eat what they want in moderation.

Another thing, since you went through something similar, what do you suggest I say to my doctor? Any tips? I'm scared
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Hoda11
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(Original post by Paralove)
You aren't alone. There are many people who have been and are going through eating disorders. A friend of mine had anorexia a few years back and was honestly one of the hardest things I have had to see someone go through.

Definitely talk to your parents, and see a doctor. They should be able to send you to a dietician or similar to view your eating habits and help you increase portion sizes.

Remember, eating healthily doesn't mean eating less. My friend was a competitive swimmer and had to give up for almost a year. She's perfectly healthy now, exercises loads but she has always loved sports so it isn't in a bad way, and teaches swimming lessons.

The best thing to do is to get help even if you feel like it is embarrassing. It isn't. It happens to plenty of people. You recognise and want to get better which is the first step!!
Thank you for such kind words... I tried eating normally, but on days I try to eat normally I just eat crap foods I've missed and then feel guilty then the cycle starts again etc.... I'm really glad to hear your friend is doing well now
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Chihiro95
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(Original post by Hoda11)
I understand, and although I feel really down, I'm not sure what to say to my doctor/ parents I feel embarrassed because I'm unable to control my feelings and what normal people are able to do... Such as eat what they want in moderation.

Another thing, since you went through something similar, what do you suggest I say to my doctor? Any tips? I'm scared
An eating disorder is a mental illness, there's nothing embarrassing about not being able to control it because you're unwell. Tell your GP the basics: what has happened/is wrong with you, how it has affected your life and that you need help. They should then give you a separate appointment where there's a blood test and weigh in so they can assess what help you need. The NHS may be slow on getting you the right help. Keep pestering them because you need to do this for yourself. Eating disorders are so common so there's nothing to be embarrassed or scared about. Are you Somali by any chance?
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doodle_333
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(Original post by Hoda11)
I understand, and although I feel really down, I'm not sure what to say to my doctor/ parents I feel embarrassed because I'm unable to control my feelings and what normal people are able to do... Such as eat what they want in moderation.

Another thing, since you went through something similar, what do you suggest I say to my doctor? Any tips? I'm scared
just tell your doctor what you feel, tell them you have lost Xkg, under 45kg at 5'5 is very thin and I'm guessing you don't look too healthy so don't worry about them believing you, take a food diary if you can as this can enable them to see what you're normally eating at the moment, and just explain exactly what you're feelings are around food and that you'd like to change, maybe ask if there are any interim services while you're on a wait list such as drop in sessions? I know the clinic I went to had drop in sessions, this also meant that you could go there as your first point of contact and talk to someone with experience with eating disorders

if you feel able to be honest in front of them I would take your parents to your appointment with you as then they can ask the doctor anything they want to as well and you will have some support and can't back out of telling the doctor, anorexia thrives on secrecy and having the support of your family will be important to them so I would tell them asap, I doubt with your extreme weight loss they will be too suprised... if you're struggling maybe write them a letter?
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Hoda11
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(Original post by doodle_333)
just tell your doctor what you feel, tell them you have lost Xkg, under 45kg at 5'5 is very thin and I'm guessing you don't look too healthy so don't worry about them believing you, take a food diary if you can as this can enable them to see what you're normally eating at the moment, and just explain exactly what you're feelings are around food and that you'd like to change, maybe ask if there are any interim services while you're on a wait list such as drop in sessions? I know the clinic I went to had drop in sessions, this also meant that you could go there as your first point of contact and talk to someone with experience with eating disorders

if you feel able to be honest in front of them I would take your parents to your appointment with you as then they can ask the doctor anything they want to as well and you will have some support and can't back out of telling the doctor, anorexia thrives on secrecy and having the support of your family will be important to them so I would tell them asap, I doubt with your extreme weight loss they will be too suprised... if you're struggling maybe write them a letter?
I have told my mum about my doctors appointment on Friday she seems happy with it and said she will come with me, but I have realised I need help, but I don't know how long it will take, I just want to be normal and without any worries... And how did you find out about the clinic? Can you find support groups where people can attend meetings while waiting for treatment?
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Temporality
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(Original post by Hoda11)
I have told my mum about my doctors appointment on Friday she seems happy with it and said she will come with me, but I have realised I need help, but I don't know how long it will take, I just want to be normal and without any worries... And how did you find out about the clinic? Can you find support groups where people can attend meetings while waiting for treatment?
Hi there, sorry you've been having these problems recently. I too have been depressed and it is very easy to feel alone and isolated or 'abnormal' but you have to remember so many people have been to a dark place and come through it. The changes are always slow and progressive, but it doesn't matter. What matters is things will eventually improve and they will for you because you want to change, that's why you booked this appointment. I reckon there will be a lot of support/help groups around if you do some ressearch. Your G.P. will be able to recommend the appropriate therapy. Commonly people with MH issues may experience a therapist who is not quite right for them and finding that unhelpful may give up but it is important to be persistant and try out other therapists until you feel a process of change starting. Good luck and remember you can always come on here to chat to people
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logeshwsn
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I think you are affected from a severe mental disorder. Yoga and meditation are the very best tools for getting rid of negative thoughts from us and also helps to lose weight fast by controlling food craving.

There are various emotional release therapies available to cure this kind of physical and mental disorders, try that also.
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doodle_333
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(Original post by Hoda11)
I have told my mum about my doctors appointment on Friday she seems happy with it and said she will come with me, but I have realised I need help, but I don't know how long it will take, I just want to be normal and without any worries... And how did you find out about the clinic? Can you find support groups where people can attend meetings while waiting for treatment?
it can be a significant wait for treatment and you should be prepared for that, its good your mum is going to be there for you though I found out about the clinic as I had a friend with an eating disorder who had been treated there so I was able to google the website and find out what services they had, I'm sure your doctor will be able to tell you what services are available in your area though (a google search may find most things), it will depend really as some places wont have specific eating disorder services and others will...and the services they offer will depend where you are as well, my service offered drop in sessions 1 evening a week and telephone cal in times but that was all you could access before you were actually registered with the service, most places have some sort of drop in counselling although it may be a general service such as samaritans etc, you can also call beat or ask your GP to see you regularly for support
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Barack Obarlow
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I'm 18, when I was 16 I weight around 88kg at 5"8, I listened to heavy metal and had long hair. Within 4 months, I had short hair, listened to "normal music" and lost around 25kg. My skinniest being 9 stone 3lbs. Like you I was obsessed with food, and generally still am, I think about it from morning until I go to sleep. I wouldn't necessarily say i'm well now but i'm healthy, I'm now 10 stone 6lbs and look loads better. It took time, and went through a lot of cycles such as eating badly, feeling guilty and then exercising to try and burn it off but the best thing that helped me was when my parents, family and friends started noticing. At first they said how good I looked for losing the weight but then started getting worried about me as I was restricting calories massively, eating 1000-1500 calories a day and exercising on top. I think when my friends started worrying about me, I needed to do something about it and over time, just upped my portions and forgot about my worries. Yes, I'm still afraid of getting big again, but then again, it's not going to happen over night and before it gets too bad and I put too much weight on, I'll go back to losing it again (hopefully this will never happen). But my point is, don't let it control you, try and eat out more if you can and indulge occasionally, eat well and exercise regularly.
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