My wardrobe fits my body-type, not my personality. I don't like it :/Watch
I've always struggled with fashion because the clothes I loved didn't look right. Even when I was younger and fat, my mum would tell me the clothes I tried looked wrong. Dresses didn't sit right and anything non-flattering was definitely a no-go if my mum was paying (which she always did, I never had an allowance) Because I couldn't get the clothes I liked, I had to wear dark, tomboyish clothes even though it didn't fit my personality. I tried all sorts of dieting etc. and genuinely wanted to be anorexic at times but I had an appetite and my parents always knew when something was different.
In my mid-teens I told my parents I was finding it difficult to get clothes that fit so they agreed to let me spend more money on them. My parents have enough money so it was no problem. I eventually figured out that expensive clothes generally have more structure to them so they were more flattering for my shape.
Only problem is that now, my wardrobe is full of expensive flattering clothes that don't fit my personality with some unflattering clothes chucked in that don't suit my body shape at all. I'm really into the Californian summery fashion with oversized, baggy clothes, bold prints, and cutouts or boho-style but they don't show any of my shape so make me look fatter and would look better on a slim girl without shape. The majority of my clothes are sort of 'posh' and the type of stuff you actually have to iron and look after but they're too stuck-up for my liking. Sure, I look good in them, but I also feel like it gives me the image of the girl who goes on a snow holiday to be fashionable and look good or a sunny holiday to just tan whereas I'm really outdoorsy, pretty much the opposite and can't stand those types of people -.-
My sister has a completely different figure to me, she's slim, extremely attractive and doesn't have much shape at all but she looks gorgeous in the clothes that I love and buy for myself but never wear because I'm not confident in them.
Even my freaking hairstyle doesn't fit my personality. It's just the most flattering for my awkward features and fat face but it's waaaay too high-maintenance for what I actually want. Plus it's too thick and annoying to do the hairstyles I like (messy braids and loose, beachy waves etc.)
I just feel like I'm presenting a fake version of myself to the world because I'm hiding behind what looks good when it doesn't actually reflect what I want to present. I have a ****ty confidence but the only way to change that is impossible because I'd only be comfortable in a skinny, shapeless, petite body which I clearly don't have.
I just don't know what to do because I feel like I'm wasting my parent's money. I do wear the expensive/flattering stuff but I keep buying accessories etc. that suit my personality (recent ones include a beige backpack covered in swallows ad a scruffy silver feather necklace) but don't match my wardrobe and don't really fit my body-type :/ It's so frustrating feeling like I can't express myself because of my body-type and confidence.
Food wise and excersise could help, strength training and cardio would help lower your BF% and give you that "toned look" You've got to really want it though, as the motivation needs to come from you Check out the sub forum on here and have a google. I used to hate working out until I found stuff I liked Personally I found this helped my personal view of my own body.
Secondly, your hair. Seriously do what you want. Try new things. Your hair grows, if you end up deciding you hate it try something new!
And your clothes, you need to stop worrying about what other people think so much. Its making you unhappy, so start thinking about what you want. I imagine these clothes look better than you think just because you've got such a negative opinion of yourself!
Okay Im going to stop rambling, but please stop hating on yourself