i don't know why i feel like this

these posts of depression pop up so often and i never really saw myself writing something similar but it's come to that.

a similar feeling happened a few months ago and i went to the doctor who told me that he was referring me to a counsellor (sp?) who was just rubbish and didn't help at all so i stopped seeing her.

i put these feelings down to coursework and exam pressure, plus my mum can be a bit mental at times which really gets me down.

this kind of improved, particularly after exams as i had the "i'm free" feeling going on. now that's passed. i have a job working rather a lot. i've just returned from a holiday where i had yet more freedom, met amazing people and such an amazing time, maybe one of the best times of my life even.

since returning i've hit rock bottom, i just cannot stand being awake almost. if i ever have any time when i'm not at work i'll either go online to tire myself out or i'll sleep. i've found out i've now got 6 day stints at work, meaning i am working 40-50 hours a week which is great on the money earning front but i can't cope with that, particularly as i have to get up for really early shifts.

the nature of the job is such that one must rise early, however working until late in the afternoon is unrealistic. this is getting me down because my friends like to do things like go to the beach, and i just can't because i'm knackered or at work.

my mum is getting me down too.

my friends i find really REALLY irritating, i'm really short with them and i just get this vibe that i'm hated by all, all of a sudden and so i have just distanced myself from them and have started to really shut myself away.

i haven't got anything to look forward to. i was looking forward to going to uni in october SO SO much and now i just can't really be bothered to look forward to it, it seems ages away and i don't really care anyway. same with reading festival. and a holiday i have booked for september, that i'm supposed to be going on with a friend. just can't be bothered with it all.

i have no idea how to make myself feel better, i feel so **** about the way i look which is really unusual for me, i have no motivation, also very unusual. i can't see a way out of this and it's getting me down. i'm just crying all the time about this situation which probably doesn't even seem that bad. i am always on the verge of tears about stupid things. even as i write this i feel like i'm about to burst into tears.

i've tried talking to people about this and nobody seems to even care or want to comfort me, i don't know where to go or what to do. my doctor will simply send me to another useless counseller who doesn't have a clue what to do with me, unless i suddenly threaten to do something drastic.

this is really getting me down, i just need someone to comfort me i suppose, or at least give me ideas of how to increase my happiness. thank you.

Reply 1

Poica

Basically, you need to chill. Essentially, it sounds less like you're depressed than you're stressed from too much work. Try to cut it down to 5 days a week if possible, if not, try to take your one day off/evenings off and do something really relaxing and enjoyable. People will piss you off if you're tired and stressed, but explain to them the problem and they'll probably back off for a little while. Good luck.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

i can really relate to this. i get it quite a lot. it feels like permanent pmt and makes you feel rubbish about everything. firstly i'd say try connecting with your friends a bit more. don't isolate yourself from them because in turn you'll feel more alone and left out, even if you're the one cutting yourself off from them. even just casual contact with them by text etc so that you don't feel totally alone. it's worth the extra bit of effort. quite a lot of what you're feeling is probably a come down from your holiday when you had a great time. it takes a while to adjust to life back here, and everything seems a bit pants in comparison. but that feeling does fade and you can look back on it with good memories rather than a longing to be back there now. maybe try focussing on the things you have to look forward to, like the holiday with your friend. plan some good thyings you want to do out there (wherever you're going) and spend a little more time with your friend so you can both get in the mood for holidaying together! with regards to your job, do you have weekends off? if so, aim to spend a little of it doing something you really enjoy, whatever that may be. plan things around your work so it doesn't feel like all you do is get up early, work all day, get tired and feel rubbish.
basically i really do know how you feel. there isn't an answer anyone can give, but i always find that the feeling does fade after a while and will sort itself out. try to stay in contact with people who matter to you, ignore that feeling of being hated becasue its probably just a result of your insecurities right now, and friends are the best people to bring you back up again. sorry i've not been of much help but at least you know you're not the only one!look after yourself, if you're feeling horrible about the way you look, make an effort to pamper yourself a little bit, eat well and take regular exercise which boosts your mood no end. good luck xx

Reply 3

lil one

Aww, try and talk to someone close to you like a family member or a friend, have a good cry, let it all out, and realise you have a lovely fresh start in october, and just try and chill. Perhaps focus yourself on a hobby or something?

Goodluck x

Reply 4

Lunar_Scorpion

Firstly, I suggest you talk to your boss at work and say that you'd like a reduction in the hours you work. I would see a doctor too, explain how you are feeling and possibly get him to write a letter to your boss explaining things. You can't go on like this - you'll run yourself into the ground.

Try not to think about your mum getting you down. Try talking to her, explain how you are feeling at the moment and explain to her what she does that's getting you down, and what you'd like her to do instead.

You need friends, it took me years to work this one out! Ask them if they want to meet up sometime and say you've not been feeling great recently so you could do with some cheering up. If they don't then they're not very good friends, but I'm sure they will. Maybe go shopping with your mum or something? You need people around you.

I've had depression for years and I know how you feel, you just have to remember that "this too will pass" (it's a famous quote but I forget who it's attributed to). You have to try not to think about the bad things - they're not really that important, and the more you think about them the more it gets you down. I know it's bloody difficult, sometimes I find it near impossible!

Also, try to eat decent food - get some fruit and veg down you and try to look after yourself. Get some fresh air and go for a walk or run - the exercise releases feel-good hormones. (Sometimes I wish I took my own advice!)

Anyway, if you want/need someone to talk to then just PM me.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

stop feeling sorry for yourself...it wont get u anywhere.
if u dont talk to anyone about what ur going through, how do u expect anyone 2 understand or even know how ur feeling

talk 2 a friend or ur parents so they can help u out with things

u need to chill out. do something to make u feel better like pamper urself

Reply 6

Lunar_Scorpion

Anonymous

stop feeling sorry for yourself...

Telling someone who is obviously feeling depressed to stop feeling sorry for themself is really going to make them feel better... NOT.

Reply 7

susie*

Anonymous

don't comment on stuff you clearly have no idea about. it's these sorts of comments that really p*** me off because it's not a case of just shrugging off your feelings and telling yourself to 'toughen up' or 'chill out'.It goes a lot deeper than that and you're being stupidly ignorant if you think that this sort of comment will help.