The Student Room Group

people taking control

Just been out, pretty annoying night and it's got me thinking.

Some of my friends are very controlling, they always get their own way and make me feel like an idiot most of the time, how do you deal with people like this?

For example, say a big night out was planned, and I felt bored and wanted to go home early, a big deal would be made about what a boring idiot i am, how I'm not as cool as them, blablabla.
Tonight, some of us were having a good time, dancing in a club. Some people got bored, wanted to go home early. We were told we were being inconsiderate, and they were getting impatient, we should hurry and leave straight away cos they didn't want to wait for us. Why are they always right and I'm always doing the wrong thing, apparently? What can I do to make them nicer?
haha, sorry if this doesn't make sense, I've been drinking a fair bit.

Reply 1

I would tell them to go on without me, and I would find my own way back (drive myself / taxi), if that seemed like the best option for me.

Also make a point of how they're being inconsiderate in stopping you from having a good time. Providing you don't show you're annoyed, they may actually listen.

People like that are always incredibly difficult, because they haven't had any opposition to their decisions.

Reply 2

You can't make them nicer, it's just that they're less understanding to other peoples needs compared to you, that's all.

It's them at fault, not you.

You say you were dancing, who with? One of your mates? Cos if that was the case why didn't you and the mate stay whilst they went home?

Reply 3

yeah, I guess we should have stayed. It's just we'd already agreed who would share taxis with who on the way home, so if we'd stayed we would have had to pay for taxis on our own because we live in completely different directions.

Oh well, I guess it's just that i've realised the past few days that my old friends from school aren't as good friends as I thought they were. I've been in a different country all year, with people a fair bit older than me who were nice and considerate and loads of fun, it seemed we wanted the same things, and some of my friends seem quite immature in comparison.

Reply 4

It's totally your call, but I would agree. People who would call me uncool for leaving early, then throw a strop when they want to do the same, aren't exactly the best of the friendship crop.