The Student Room Group

Cheating

Right then...where to start...

Okay, a few weeks back, I went to a family wedding party with my girlfriend, where she met my cousins and the rest of my family. One of my cousins was studying her behaviour I guess, and they swapped mobile numbers at the end of the day.



Tonight I found out that my girlfriend had cheated on me with my cousin, and she had lost her virginity to him as a result.

I know my cousin very well, and I know that he is very good at manipulating people to get what he wants. My girlfriend was honest with me about what happened, and he had seen at the family party that she was a lightweight when it came to alcohol, and when they met up the other day he went and bought her quite a few drinks, then suggested they went somewhere more private and then proceeded to have sex.

He is now saying that he loves her (which I know is a lie anyway) but he does not know the first thing about her, cos if he did, he'd not have done what he did.

I still trust my girlfriend, and I love her so much, and she feels the same way about me too, but felt really guilty about what she'd done, and was a bit annoyed when I wasn't angry at her for what had happened. She is not sure about her feelings for my cousin though. She knows it isn't love, but she doesn't know what it is.


I am so angry at my cousin for the way that he is lying about loving her and is hurting her. I really want to go and take my cousin and kick the hell out of him with my steel toe cap boots and make him suffer just a little bit as much as he has made my girlfriend, but I'm too rational for that really.


He would not do half the things I would do, half the things I have done for my girlfriend, and I know that for a fact. If he knew anything about her really he'd run for the hills cos that's what he's like.




The dilemma I'm really facing is what should I do about my cousin? I would love to kick him in the gut a few times with my steelies, I'd love to take him to the highest levels of pain, but I'd not want the consequences as I'm looking to go into the police force. Does anyone have any ideas about what I can do?



P.S. My cousin says that he knows he "did wrong" but if he were given a second chance, he'd not do anything differently.

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Reply 1
Your cousin sounds like one guy that should be avoided. but warn him first. This must be really frustrating for you and that you'd just want to beat him up, but its best if you keep your cool. As long as you love your girlfriend and she loves you too and youre willing to remain with her, then just be there for her, protect her and avoid the cousin. But you should approach the cousin, explain the anger/annoyance/lack of trust you have for him and warn him to stay away from you and your grlfriend.

really hope things work out for you. take care
Reply 2
Thanks mate, I have warned him, and he knows I could take him down if I want to so he's trying to play safe. He is a real slime bag, but I trust my girlfriend enough to chose to either break it up with him or to stay in contact.

I do keep my cool, but the problem I have is that I know how to throw knives, and I know how to take people down in a couple of moves, and I am tempted to practice on him.
Reply 3
If i were you i wouldnt stay in contact with him. He chose to do this to you. it's mean. very mean. He deliberately got your girlfriend drunk so he could get what he wants.

But it's good that you've kept your cool (you're the one acting mature in this:smile: ) and warned him. If he does anything to hurt you or your girlfriend again, then give the 'take people down with a couple of moves' a try, but no no to knives! :eek:
Reply 4
I've avoided him for the last 4 years, a lifetime can't be that hard. And if he makes so much as one hint at hurting her, I'd put him down on the floor straight away.


And yeah, knives are a big no no, but they are fun :smile: and I can throw well (you should see the house I destroyed!!)
maybe she didnt like you hair hehe
Reply 6
Anonymous
maybe she didnt like you hair hehe


Hmmm, someone's a smart arse ain't they!! You really should shut up bout stuff you don't have a clue about y'know. I died my hair black for my girlfriend, so she loves it.

Ruddy idiot :mad:
Reply 7
that's ****ty man, from you're own cousin and everything.

I'm glad you still trust your girlfriend, and evidently your judgement is more useful here than my own. Just don't let it happen again :biggrin:

hope it goes smoothly from here for you bro.
If he didn't get her to sign in triplicate couldn't you get him done for rape. I'm serious. What's that new law which says that if got her drunk then she was incapable of giving 100% assurance that she wanted to have sex with him? He plied her with alcohol. Surely that constitutes using drugs to rape her.

Personally I think it's a dodgy law, but in this case would probably be used for good.
Hmmm, it might be an avenue to pursue, the rape/ illegality of his actions thing. But i'm really sorry to hear about that mate, and i'm glad you still trust your girlfriend. Hope things work out for you two! :biggrin:

By the by, congrats on keeping your cool :top: (And the throwing knives bit, just don't throw em at people! Scarecrows're fine :p:)
Reply 10
matt@internet
If he didn't get her to sign in triplicate couldn't you get him done for rape. I'm serious. What's that new law which says that if got her drunk then she was incapable of giving 100% assurance that she wanted to have sex with him? He plied her with alcohol. Surely that constitutes using drugs to rape her.

Personally I think it's a dodgy law, but in this case would probably be used for good.


Great call. I second the motion.

To The Canadian, I am so impressed you kept your cool over the incident. Your girlfriend is lucky to have you!
bloody *******! *throws knives*
your understandably angry at your cousin but it takes two to tango so i wouldnt be so quick to trust your gf. i mean its hard to tell over the net but she could be as manipulating as your cousin and if shes good then you wouldnt realise.
im gonna stand by high priestess on this, canadian, kudos on keeeping your cool and of course you know your cousin better than we all do.
But priestess is right it does take two to tango, being drunk lowers your inhibitions however you still retain some sense of what is happening. Unless of course she was catatonic passed out on the bed in which case its rape.

As for the knives, i think you would find one hand round the throat and the other with a blade in it placed to a certain point is enough for him to get the message. And if your that good with them, when youve done to double make sure he's got the point, turn and throw so it imbeds itself an inch from his neck
Reply 14
Being cheated on before myself. Having forgiven my ex-gf and attempted to carry on with the same amount of love and security in the relationship, let me tell you it will most likely never be the same again. Regardless of how drunk someone is (really... I've been unable to walk and still kept my inhabitions.) it is not an excuse.

Once a cheater always a cheater :frown:

It really sucks man and i know how your feeling. If i knew the guy my ex cheated on me with i'd have gone round and had a shot at sorting him out. Im no big guy though :P

P.S There are plenty more fish in the sea, i found another one pretty quick and she's as nice too :smile:
Reply 15
Don't beat your cousin up. Violence won't take back what he has done and might end up getting oyu in trouble.
However, I am completely mystified as to why on earth you would stay with your girlfriend after all this. You are acting like she was the victim whan she was just as guilty as your cousin. Being drunk is not any kind of excuse! How can you say you 'trust' her when you know full well she slept with someone else?
Reply 16
1013
However, I am completely mystified as to why on earth you would stay with your girlfriend after all this. You are acting like she was the victim whan she was just as guilty as your cousin. Being drunk is not any kind of excuse! How can you say you 'trust' her when you know full well she slept with someone else?


Mm, yeah. After reading the ensuing posts this stance does make a lot more sense than my original position. I know when I am drunk, I know full well what is going on (sure, certain things become less important), but I am still awake and so able to say NO. People do make bad decisions when drunk, but this was a very bad decision on your girlfriend's part, if she were not catatonic. Even when I've got incredibly drunk, I've never let down my boyfriend like that despite advances and what not. You still know what's going on, and my boyfriend was important enough to me to stop me making bad decisions.
There are reasons I can't go into which explain why I trust my girlfriend still, and also because I know her more than anyone else.

If you'd have seen the state she was in last night, you'd also understand why I still trust her. She hates to cry, believing it is a sign of weakness, and doesn't let anyone see her cry if she does, but she was crying in my arms for at least an hour about what she'd done.



I would follow up on that rape charge, but I wouldn't want to put my girlfriend through that for certain reasons that I can't really say.



Oh, and Cadre of Storms, I like your idea. Do you think a 6 inch throwing dagger should be threatening enough?

And Creepy, as for plenty more fish in the sea, believe me when I say that there won't be anyone else out there who can understand me like she does.
aww well it sounds like your really lucky to have each other then. good luck
revenge is sweet you know, have sex with his girl friend, and he will learn what comes round goes around i think not sure nah i am sure its what comes round goes round, anyways make up a plan have sex with her and then laugh with an evil tone hahahahahaha