Female dilemma - am I in the wrong??
Hey, so I met this girl in Germany while I was there for a couple of months, I met her a week before I left and we slept together and became quite attached. We aren't together but she's coming to the UK in May for a bit to see family and wants to see me for a week. I met this other girl last week at home and have arranged a date. I don't know why but I feel guilty about doing so. Am I in the wrong? Thanks
Original post by MrBean1994
Hey, so I met this girl in Germany while I was there for a couple of months, I met her a week before I left and we slept together and became quite attached. We aren't together but she's coming to the UK in May for a bit to see family and wants to see me for a week. I met this other girl last week at home and have arranged a date. I don't know why but I feel guilty about doing so. Am I in the wrong? Thanks
Only you know whether or not you've been giving off 'exclusivity' signals to either of these girls (ie misleading them in this case).
As a feminist, I think its unfair to differentiate wrong-doing on the basis of gender 
Original post by Ronove
Only you know whether or not you've been giving off 'exclusivity' signals to either of these girls (ie misleading them in this case).
Thanks, we've spoken about it and we know we aren't together and aren't exclusive
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Abdul-Karim
As a feminist, I think its unfair to differentiate wrong-doing on the basis of gender
Typical woman over-reacting.
Original post by MrBean1994
Hey, so I met this girl in Germany while I was there for a couple of months, I met her a week before I left and we slept together and became quite attached. We aren't together but she's coming to the UK in May for a bit to see family and wants to see me for a week. I met this other girl last week at home and have arranged a date. I don't know why but I feel guilty about doing so. Am I in the wrong? Thanks
No, obviously not. How is this even a question?
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If she's coming from Germany solely to see your family cos she thinks you two are together, then yes it's wrong. But if you guys arent exclusive, and she she's coming to see your family as a friend of yours or just as part of a trip then it's fine.
Just don't lead anyone on and make it clear to both when you want to be exclusive
Just don't lead anyone on and make it clear to both when you want to be exclusive
Original post by acciolucy
If she's coming from Germany solely to see your family cos she thinks you two are together, then yes it's wrong. But if you guys arent exclusive, and she she's coming to see your family as a friend of yours or just as part of a trip then it's fine.
Just don't lead anyone on and make it clear to both when you want to be exclusive
Just don't lead anyone on and make it clear to both when you want to be exclusive
I think she's coming to see her own family...
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Original post by Abdul-Karim
As a feminist, I think its unfair to differentiate wrong-doing on the basis of gender
I think it's very interesting that you're a feminist, I dare say more of both genders need to understand equality.
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To the OP, I don't think that you're a bad person, but it sounds like you didn't entirely cut ties with the German girl and now she has other ideas ... After all, this is a big country, if you had cut ties with her she could easily avoid you, but the fact that she is sort of going out if her way to see you means a lot for a woman, and that, (just like the other girl who agreed to a date) she sees potential ... The question is, do you, and in which girl ?
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Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by TheBeautyInTheGeek
I think it's very interesting that you're a feminist, I dare say more of both genders need to understand equality.
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Posted from TSR Mobile
I was taking the piss, no-way in hell do I care about the feminist movement.
If you're single then no you're not in the wrong. If you're seeing her then depending on where you're at then it could be wrong. Normally when I'm seeing someone I stay faithful and don't see anyone else. Others see things differently and are fine with seeing multiple people until they become an item and exclusive. If you have told her you want to be with her and she said yes and on that basis is planning to come over and see her family and you then yes you are in the wrong.
If you're single there is no much she can do. She may be disappointed but you're well within your rights to do what you want. However, if you've led her on to the point where she has come over and have now gone and arranged a date with someone else then that's a bit bad yeah. However, i'd still go through with the other date judging by your OP.
1) you are single
2) she is coming over but she said to see her family
3) this date may end up evolving into something more - it may end up in just friendship
4) if you like both then why not try your luck with both?
I'd say misleading someone is the wrong bit so if you've done that then yes to a degree it is wrong but don't beat yourself up over it. Just next time you speak, see both of them make your mind up and go with your instinct.
If you're single there is no much she can do. She may be disappointed but you're well within your rights to do what you want. However, if you've led her on to the point where she has come over and have now gone and arranged a date with someone else then that's a bit bad yeah. However, i'd still go through with the other date judging by your OP.
1) you are single
2) she is coming over but she said to see her family
3) this date may end up evolving into something more - it may end up in just friendship
4) if you like both then why not try your luck with both?
I'd say misleading someone is the wrong bit so if you've done that then yes to a degree it is wrong but don't beat yourself up over it. Just next time you speak, see both of them make your mind up and go with your instinct.
Original post by MrBean1994
Hey, so I met this girl in Germany while I was there for a couple of months, I met her a week before I left and we slept together and became quite attached. We aren't together but she's coming to the UK in May for a bit to see family and wants to see me for a week. I met this other girl last week at home and have arranged a date. I don't know why but I feel guilty about doing so. Am I in the wrong? Thanks
I take it all the girls are adults arent they? Just because you bed a girl doesnt mean you are getting engaged. After all,she agreed to it too. Roger and be damned i say..
Does the girl from Germany think she's your girlfriend? Or is she just asking to meet up for a catch up? That's what decides whether it matters or not.
Original post by MrBean1994
Thanks, we've spoken about it and we know we aren't together and aren't exclusive
It's fine then. If you decide to become exclusive, then you're in the wrong.
Original post by MrBean1994
Hey, so I met this girl in Germany while I was there for a couple of months, I met her a week before I left and we slept together and became quite attached. We aren't together but she's coming to the UK in May for a bit to see family and wants to see me for a week. I met this other girl last week at home and have arranged a date. I don't know why but I feel guilty about doing so. Am I in the wrong? Thanks
Its only wrong if you dont get the notch of the new girl whilst invading Germany.
Blitzkrieg that ass my boy!
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