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People commenting on your physical 'imperfections'?

Anonymous #1

What the hell is wrong with people?

Reply 1

OllieA

They're low on self-confidence and make up for that with 'comments'.

Reply 2

username47781

20

yeah they usually have some insecurities themselves

They are meanies.

Anonymous

What the hell is wrong with people?

They are shallow and insecure.

Here is a quote which I like about this subject:

accept your flaw and think that anyone who thinks bad of us for that flaw - then phew - thank god for that - because that person if they think bad of us will show they don't like us in their attitude towards us and we have had a lucky escape from some shallow stupid person who needs to get a grip

It's from another forum and a big discussion I had about people picking on physical flaws. Here's more (none of these are my words, I wish):

We all have flaws, no one is perfect - anyone who doesn't like us for who we are then that is their problem, I feel sorry for them that they cannot see a person as being a human being who has feelings. I am me, I am a brilliant person who has so much going for me - I refuse to let those bastards beat me any more. Enough is enough.

Yeehaa!

Reply 5

TheWildChild

11

my cousin is like that! argh she bugs me so much. so shallow! i know of my flaws, i dont need anyone to pick them out for me. oh by the way, these are physical flaws so not nice as nothign can be done :frown:

Reply 6

Cano234

It used to really get me down when people would say anything about my imperfections, now i dont pay attention, i actually feel sorry for the people who comment as its obvious that they are shallow, and probably insecure about there own 'imperfections'.

Reply 7

Caribou

1

if its something that can be fixed. e.g posture.. or spots.. then sure.. why not comment away. Will bring awareness to the problem and persuade the afflicted to do something about it.

Reply 8

Wez

14

They haven't been looking in the mirror enough themselves.

Reply 9

bedbug

14

HagerVor

if its something that can be fixed. e.g posture.. or spots.. then sure.. why not comment away. Will bring awareness to the problem and persuade the afflicted to do something about it.

I'm sure if someone had lots of spots they'd be aware of it though.. fair enough, posture might be a different issue, but people are generally quite aware of their faults.

If it's a family member or friend trying to help then, instead of just pointing out the flaws, they should provide some help as in how to improve rather than just putting you down.

People these days just get pleasure from putting others down, sad really. I know I'm guilty of this too but I'd never do it to someones face (not that that really makes it any better I suppose..)

Reply 10

tocktick

HagerVor

if its something that can be fixed. e.g posture.. or spots.. then sure.. why not comment away. Will bring awareness to the problem and persuade the afflicted to do something about it.

generally, i dont think it's good to point out things about people even if it's something that they can change. you have no idea how someone feels about that part of themselves and i would hate unintentionally making someone feel like crap. so unless they come to me first asking for comments and asking how they can change something, i wont give it to them.

for example, my aunt commented that i'd gained some weight and called me "fat". it was ironic because this woman was very overweight herselt. nevertheless, i felt really **** about myself. i have a history of ed's too, so what she said kind of threw up more problems with my body and my attitude to food when i had just began to like and accept myself again.

so, the point i'm trying to make is, even if commenting can be done in a well meaning way, the person being commented on can end up feeling really low about it. when my sister felt fat, i told her how she could improve herself - i didn't highlight her problems before she had dealt with it in her own mind first.

Reply 11

squigaletta

one of my male friends used to called me fat and squidge all my soft bits, but he hasnt done it since i called him short and skinny and poked his clearly visible ribs... i know that makes me as bad as him but hey, he was driving my bff crazy by affectionately calling her 'fatty'

Reply 12

friendsfreak88

Yeah I think sometimes the only way to make someone stop is do the same to them then they can see how they feel about it. I am careful never to make personal comments to people and would get very offended at comments made towards me about my imperfections.

Reply 13

FeedTheGoat

I doubt it is the person who mentions your 'imperfection' who is insecure but you sound pretty insecure yourself fella. Why you so bothered?
It also depends who comments whether it is a close friend or a randomer in the street. If it is a close friend you would expect them to mention it sometime in your relationship and the person in the street may mention it to you as they don't realise that you're insecure about it.

Being 'insulted' in this way is definately something you grow out of. Grow a pair.

Reply 14

sidi

1

Classic case of Freudian transference, it's their problem but then they also have the problem of a total lack of sensitivity so are doubly cursed.

Reply 15

Montrose

17

lessthanthree

Meh, I comment on people, and I'm damn sure they do it to me. I do tend not to be horrid to people's faces though :|

It hurts a lot when that happens!

Things have a habit of getting back to people though, and hearing things third hand can actually be more hurtful than if said direct.

I think it is pointless. I know I am ugly and not 'conventionally beautiful', but at the same time I am trying to forget that and enjoy my life and myself for what it is. I don't need people constantly reminding me. I sympathise with all those who have had the same problem. :smile:

Reply 16

FeedTheGoat

sidi

Classic case of Freudian transference, it's their problem but then they also have the problem of a total lack of sensitivity so are doubly cursed.

LoL so anything you say to anyone else or ask of anyone else is automatically because you want what it is you ask or say?

Freud = incestuous nugget

Reply 17

kateykat

I know how this feels, I have comments made about my body and even though it's in a supposedly light-hearted jokey way it's really hurtful because they're always belittling comments that don't need to be said.

friendsfreak88

Yeah I think sometimes the only way to make someone stop is do the same to them then they can see how they feel about it.

Probably, but I know I would instantly lose an awful lot of respect for myself if I dared be nasty about someone's appearance to their face.

Reply 18

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

What the hell is wrong with people?

Well, they're just physically perfect.

Why the hell do you care? If it's said with the intent of making you aware, then it's served its purpose, you're aware of it. If it's said with the intent of insulting you then they clearly can't find anything better to insult about you. :p:

It's when people start commenting on your personality imperfections that you need to be worried. But don't see it as any excuse to get angry - either they're trying to help, in which case you should not be getting angry, or they're not, in which case they're not worth it.

As for insecurities - it is occasionally the case that this happens, mostly though the person is too thick to see through their own skin and realise how 'imperfect' (physically, in personality, or any other way) they are. I know one guy who is unfriendly, annoying, abusive, prejudiced, all of which are serious personality flaws; he's almost my age (17) and hasn't gone through puberty, he's ugly, he can't spell (he's dyslexic, but not badly so; most of it is laziness and trying to 'rebel'), and he's thick, none of which are personality flaws at all; and yet he has ten times as many friends as me. Why? Well, you could sit there picking away at my personality at a scab... or you could realise that he is a rich bastard who has his own house which he regularly holds parties in, providing free alcohol and a place for girls ('fit' girls only, mind) to hang around in... and anyone who wants to be his friend is invited, and anyone who says anything bad about him or to him isn't invited.

Most people are shallow people when they're younger. Most grow out of it. There'll always be someone around to comment on your imperfections... compare with the average student picking on the thick people and taking the piss out of the clever ones. It must happen in your school, it happens in every other one I know. :biggrin:

You are in school, right?

Reply 19

NViasko

I'm just thankful for having a fully functional body.

People commenting on your physical 'imperfections'?

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