Hes got a girlfriend

Well if you've only been going out a few weeks you won't exactly be in the monogomous stage. I think it would be okay to say you're not sure what you want and ask if you could cool it off for a while/hang out as friends. Also, you don't know if this friend's relationship will end - it might not. Cool it with both of them and see how you feel. Just don't end up messing your new date around or being the "other girl" in this friend's relationship (if the girl finds out about you she'll badmouth you to everyone she meets [I have to admit to doing this, but girl in question was a right beeatch and deserved it]). Just trying to save any reputation you might have as a good person here :wink:

as well as not hurting anyone in the process.

Reply 3

OP

PsychologyJen

Just don't end up messing your new date around or being the "other girl" in this friend's relationship (if the girl finds out about you she'll badmouth you to everyone she meets [I have to admit to doing this, but girl in question was a right beeatch and deserved it]). Just trying to save any reputation you might have as a good person here :wink:

as well as not hurting anyone in the process.

I really dont want to hurt anyone, I'd rather be going out with neither of them than let that happen.

The guy im going on a date with is apparently really in to me, so he likes me more than I like him....

Oh im so confused

Reply 4

LatinMachine

Well you seem to have the right attitude IMHO.

I went out with a guy who liked me more than I liked him (although nowadays I'm not so sure, I really do think he's gay). 7 weeks in, I found someone I really liked, and I had to dump the first guy, which hurt him quite a bit, seemingly. Dumping him hurt me too, as he was very sweet :frown:

Asking him for a cool-off now will be hard to do, but ultimately it might save him more hurt feelings. You can always go back in a week or two and say, hey, I've made up my mind, want to go out again? :biggrin:

Reply 5

OP

PsychologyJen

Well you seem to have the right attitude IMHO.

I went out with a guy who liked me more than I liked him (although nowadays I'm not so sure, I really do think he's gay). 7 weeks in, I found someone I really liked, and I had to dump the first guy, which hurt him quite a bit, seemingly. Dumping him hurt me too, as he was very sweet :frown:

Asking him for a cool-off now will be hard to do, but ultimately it might save him more hurt feelings. You can always go back in a week or two and say, hey, I've made up my mind, want to go out again? :biggrin:

Well im going on holiday in a few dyas so i want see either of them for a few weeks, maybe a break from it all is gonna be good, help me realise what i really want...

Reply 6

username47781

20

well if hes got a girlfriend there is nothing you can do until he does leave her if he leaves her, he might say he will leave her but he may make excuses and keep prolonging it

Reply 7

OP

thanks for the advice everyone

I'm not going out with this guy yet, theres just one date, which we havent even been on yet! so we mite go on the date and its truly awful...or it mite be excellent. maybe i shud just see how the date goes.

Reply 8

Angelic Sarah

I would seriously leave it until he is single. It will only end in tears else if you get involved and you will be made out to be the bad person

Reply 9

amywalters

Yeah, dont get hooked on the gf guy.. Because they always let ya down - he may just have had an argument and therefore would be saying all them things. At the same time, its clearly not this other fella that you want. So just step back away from both.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Dont go there - have just found out the guy I am totally head over heels about is planning his wedding right now, even though he told me that would never happen!

Reply 11

Gem

mousy

thanks for the advice everyone

I'm not going out with this guy yet, theres just one date, which we havent even been on yet! so we mite go on the date and its truly awful...or it mite be excellent. maybe i shud just see how the date goes.

Are you sure you should go on the date if you're not as into him as he is to you?

You don't want to 'string him along' intentionally or not - he might be pinning all his hopes on this date? I'd hate for him to get hurt, as that'd make you feel even worse.

Reply 12

OP

Gem

Are you sure you should go on the date if you're not as into him as he is to you?

You don't want to 'string him along' intentionally or not - he might be pinning all his hopes on this date? I'd hate for him to get hurt, as that'd make you feel even worse.

But i dont know him that well, so surely the idea of dating is to get to know someone better and then see if you wanna take it further? I do agree though, I dont want to string him along and that certainly isnt my intention.

Reply 13

OP

Anonymous

Dont go there - have just found out the guy I am totally head over heels about is planning his wedding right now, even though he told me that would never happen!

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

uh-huh i think my face looked something like that too!

Reply 15

Glory

try and forget about the guy with the girlfriend, if he becomes single then cross that bridge. I suggest you go out on the date, its always possible after the date you can tell that guy, you think you should stay friends.

Reply 16

Gem

mousy

But i dont know him that well, so surely the idea of dating is to get to know someone better and then see if you wanna take it further? I do agree though, I dont want to string him along and that certainly isnt my intention.

Ahh no, I understand :smile:

I wouldn't want you getting hurt, cos love hurty sucks :frown:

But if you're really into the second guy, would it be fair to go out with the first guy if you know for a fact you'd leave him in a flash for the second guy?

Then again, you could go on the date, have an amazing time and forget completely about the other guy :smile:

Reply 17

OP