The Student Room Group

Friendships with Grandparents

How does everyone get along with their Grandparents: what are your experiences?

Grandma on my Mum's side is 75. She's probably not got too many years left as she has a heart problem last year and has never really recovered. It is quite sad to see someone who used to be full of energy and enthusiasm so sedated and unhappy. I used to be really close to her, but ever since I got to about the age of 14 I've grown apart. Probably because she lives in London, and my parents (who I do not get on with) have suddenly seemed to lose all the will power to visit the family. She's a lovely woman: has never given me any memorable words or anything, but just nice memories.

Grandma (or Nan as we call her) on my Dad's side, is 88. And I don't think she will ever die haha, she seems to go on forever bless her. She has always been a lot colder and less friendly, but she has shown glimps of kindness. She is only half hour away, but haven't seen her for three years. Again, my parents just seem to moan about her and do nothing to help.

I never knew either of my Grandad's: they both passed before I was born. One fought in World War II, and I know absolutely nothing about the other. Neither of my parents sound like they were particularly fond of them. It's maybe the one regret of my childhood that I didn't know either of them.

The sad thing is, I can see myself feeling the same way towards my current parents when they're in their 70s and 80s as well. My parents seem so distant, and generally hard to feel anything towards at the moment. So I guess in 20 years I too will be setting a bad example.

This isn't a 'give alex advice on how to get closer to his grandparents thread' lol, I just want to know what friendships others have with theirs. :smile:

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Reply 1
i only have one grandparent, but she is awsome, i lived with her for seven years with my sister and we are all so close. she now lives 2 mins down the road and we had her 80th bday pasty last sunday. shes very cool and incredibly young for her age stil drives and was still working at the age of 75 (shes an artist!)
I've never met my grandparents. :frown: Count yourselves lucky if you have a relationship with them at all. :smile:
My mum's dad I never knew (and neither did she)... my dad's dad is dying... my dad's mum is in America... my mum's mum is still around. And I got on with all the ones I knew pretty well. We were never close, but we were friendly. I find it hard to be close to my family - they're either too close (geographically, etc.) or too far away. It's just awkward.
My mums mum,i dont talk to her, she has done nothing but let us all down over the years. So cut her off completly.

My mums dad, my dear old grandad passed away in november, he was the greatest grandad anyone could of had. I spent most of my time with him. I used to have time off school to go and sit with him. Everyday i would go the shop and get him is jelly bears lol. I would tidy up etc. It felt nice to know i could help. I even enjoyed watching old programmes on bbc2 with him! lol
He always told me off if i wore a skirt or didnt go to school lol! But he was funny and just a great man.

My dads mum, dont see much of her since my dad died but shes ok when i see her. We dont live around there anymore but i saw her a few weeks back. Cant spend too much time with her though cuz she never shuts up!lol

I never met my dads dad, he died before i was born.

My stepdads mum is great, she is lke a real nan and my step grandad is great too. I dont class them as step grandparents though.
Reply 5
I never met my dads parents, part of the fact my dad left when i was 4, and before then i don't recall ever seeing them.
As for the grandparents on my mums side, well i never met my grandad. I knew my nan, we saw her real often when i was younger, however when i was about 7 my nan moved into a home, i then only saw her once a week. And becasue she had parkinsons, she basically didn't know me :frown: So my relationship with her wasnt to good, she died when i was 14, so i don't really have a 'friendship' with any of my grandparents. :frown:
Reply 6
its really wierd to read like you havent seen your nan in like thre years. my nan on my moms side before she dies two years ago, we were proper close but thats because our family (my nan had 10kids so were talkin good size) 8 of them all live in north birmingham and i lvied down the road form my nan went there after school every day saw here everyday until she got ill and had to move into a bupa home, which was hard coz she got dementia and totally forgot who i was first out of everyone coz isuppose her memory wnet backwards and i came along last being the youngest grandchild. my grandad on my moms side died before i was born and think that is what kept the family soo close coz even my aunty and unlce who dont live in brum (one in canada the other in London) were all soo soo close as a family.

on my dads side, i dont even know my dad (hes a tosspot who ran off before i was born) and i dont really know my grandparents on that side, i know where they live the only time i went to the house was when i passed my 11+ and my mom went round to tell them ( i think it was partly to rub it in that i'd still turnt out alright without the help fo that family or him lol)

when my nan died it actually shook me properly shook me coz its jsut soo wierd and even now goin to the cemetery it feels weird, shes buried with my grandad now and when we used to go before when it was jsut my grnada there, i was never able to feel a proper connection coz i ddint know him, but with my nan there i someow fele closer to him too.
Reply 7
I'm really lucky, I get on with my grandparents well.

I never met my Mam's Dad, as him and my Mam's Mam divorced when my Mam was 4ish, but I get on with my Grandma pretty well.

As for my Dad's parents, Grandma & Grandad, I get on with them too :smile: My Grandad is the best, he's so funny and we go to the club for a pint, it's really nice :smile:

I live across the road from my Grandma and around the corner from my Grandma & Grandad so I'm lucky that we live so close too. My Dad was in the RAF for 30 years so we've moved about, but since he left, we've moved into the same village that pretty much all my family live in, so these last 4 or so years, I've got to spend more time with them.

I feel very lucky :smile:
Reply 8
my grandparents live in the same town as me so i knew them really well. i got on with my grandad like a house on fire and i saw him pretty much every weekend. an absolute legend of a man.

he passed away just before xmas though :frown: and i miss him dearly

RIP.
Reply 9
My moms dad died before I was born, my dads dad died while I was still very young, my dads mom died last year - I got along with her but she lived quite far away and I didn't see her that often. My only living grandparent, my moms mom lives not so far away but I can't even remember the last time I spoke to her.
Reply 10
My Grandma died when i was about 9, im 18 now but i still find it difficult to come to terms with, they say time heals but they never say how much! My Nana died about 3 years ago and i still find it difficult to talk about.
So much so that even now when my Mum/Dad talks about either of them i try to change the subject and i think this offends them, although i dont do it intentionally.
I feel very lucky however to have two grandad's who i love very much and i am not ashamed to say so. A very good friend of mine has no grandparents at all and told me that he would love to have at least one, it makes you feel how lucky you are.
I only have 1 grandparent and he's never shown me any affection. He gets on ok with my younger sister but seems to hate me. I can't work out why though and that hurts. :frown: My nan died 2 days before my 8th birthday and that is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
Reply 12
All of my grandparents are currently alive.
My mums parents annoy me quite alot as they try to dictate my life even though they seem to have no clue how the modern world actually works. Also my grandmother gets into the routine of replying "oooh I'm not feeling well at all" when you ask her how she is, even if she is infact fine.
However I know that they won't be around for a great deal longer and so I go and see them once a week and write out their shopping list and ensure them that I am wearing clean underwear and I've eaten breakfast. Sometimes I take my boyfriend to see them and they say embarrassing things but they make us laugh so it's ok. I do love them to bits despite their faults.

My dads mum is very much more independent than my mums parents and I love her to bits. Sometimes I think she thinks I'm about 6yrs old and she worried alot, but I can deal with this. I get on with her very well.

My dads dad, I haven't seen him for five years, I hear nothing of him, he has no interest in me and the feeling is mutual. Infact I have disowned him. (I don't like his wife either.)
Reply 13
The One and Only Lady Jennington
All of my grandparents are currently alive.
My mums parents annoy me quite alot as they try to dictate my life even though they seem to have no clue how the modern world actually works. Also my grandmother gets into the routine of replying "oooh I'm not feeling well at all" when you ask her how she is, even if she is infact fine.
However I know that they won't be around for a great deal longer and so I go and see them once a week and write out their shopping list and ensure them that I am wearing clean underwear and I've eaten breakfast. Sometimes I take my boyfriend to see them and they say embarrassing things but they make us laugh so it's ok. I do love them to bits despite their faults.

My dads mum is very much more independent than my mums parents and I love her to bits. Sometimes I think she thinks I'm about 6yrs old and she worried alot, but I can deal with this. I get on with her very well.
My dads dad, I haven't seen him for five years, I hear nothing of him, he has no interest in me and the feeling is mutual. Infact I have disowned him. (I don't like his wife either.)


My grandads worry a lot about me a lot coz im a bit of a nervous wreck! but it shows they care which is nice
Reply 14
I HATE visiting my Grandparents, just because my Dad always ends up debating stuff with them, and I don't like eating in their living room, because it's small and squashed and i need room to eat, otherwise I feel ill. They're lovely to talk to though!

On my other side (mums) my grandad died before I was born. My Gran died last year, I didn't see her that often, but still felt really close to her, despite her telling me i'm going to hell when i die!
Reply 15
My grandma on my dad's side died when I was 12 methinks and I've never met my grandad on my dad's side coz he died ages before I was born.

I'm pretty close with my grandparents on my mum's side though. Used to go to their place everyday after school and hang out there before my parents pick my sibs and us up. 'Twas fun being there with my cousins. We're all a relatively close family on my mum's side.
My nan and grandad on my dad's side both died before I was born, so I have never met them obviously but I have seen pictures of them. As for my nan and grandad on my mum's side, well I love them more than anyone else in the world. Me and my nan are very, very close and I am closer to her than I am with my mum. My nan means everything to me, and so does my grandad and my relationship with the two of them is a lot better than the relationship I have got with my parents.
my grandma (on my mum's side) from Leeds, is really boring and she's about 80...she hardly speaks and is really deaf... smokes like a chimeny or fish or whatever!! she doesnt make any effort with me at all/never has she done anything nice for me since i have been born, except given me some money a couple of times. my grandad (on mums side of family) passed away a few years ago. anyway, i'm from Jersey and my granparents (on my dad's side of the family are great!! my gran is 64 and my pop is 68, but they dont look it and particularly my gran doesnt act it. i had a bad childhood so they took me from my parents who are divorced. i have been living with my grandparents for nearly 10 years and am gonna be 20 in a few months. i am so pleased and very grateful to have them as i would have never have gotten to the stage where i am now in my life and had such a good education/happier life. i am now at uni, and they probs miss me more than my parents do. i only see my parents about twice a week for an hour.

life twists the plots inconveniently, but successfully...hmm....anyway, yeh that's the story pour moi!! :biggrin:
Reply 18
I have only ever known one grandparent, my nan on my mum's side, who is 88 and has never had any serious illness. My relationship with her is excellent, and I often seem to be helping her more than my parents do. For some reason, I feel very strongly about the way old people are treated, and have donated to Age Concern in the past, and intend to do a trek for them some time in the future.
i have one set of grandparents living my dads parents tho, his dad died about 5/6 years ago, but we didnts speak to him anyway. my dads mum is an evil witch who i cannot stand and is cut off from our family as are some of my aunties and uncles. i miss one of my cousins tho who i havent seen for a few years. my mums mum and dad are lovely my grandma is 70 and my grandad is 72, my grandma has had breast cancer, and is now on dialysis and they are both getting very senile particularly my grandma which is really sad