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My friend fancies me: help!

Ok, I have been friends with this guy since September and we get on really well.

I thought it was a friendship safely in the platonic zone because he has a girlfriend whom he said he really loved and he knows that I have a boyfriend.

Recently, however, he has been taking every possible opportunity to compliment me, wanting to spend more time with me and seemed to be going off his girlfriend.

Today, he actually said that he now finds his girlfriend dull and that, "even though she's a lovely person", she isn't what he wants. He was also questioning me about my relationship, asking how it's going, if there are any problems, wondering if I see a future with my boyfriend, etc. He seems to take every opportunity to gently criticise my boyfriend or point out potential faults.

I tried to ignore it to begin with, but now it's painfully and unavoidably clear that he is interested in me.

What can I do to put him off?! I am completely in love with my boyfriend and wouldn't leave him for anyone, but I can't tell my friend to back off because he hasn't expressed his interest explicitly. I thought I had already made it clear that my boyfriend and I are for the long term, but he doesn't seem to have got the message. What do I do?!
Reply 1
Avatar for DForDan
DForDan
What can you do? Tell him you're not interested. Or if you're not feeling brave, you can make it very clear with how happy you are. Be with your BF while he's around (and be very affectionate to your BF!), or you can do what I'd do.. Go up to him and say "omg I have the BEST BF EVER! HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY AND NO ONE COULD EVER MAKE ME AS HAPPY AS HIM!!".. Or something.. That should work. Tactful :cool:
I think it's always best to say the truth in these situations, you don't wonna lead him on, and you don't want him "criticising" your boyfriend
Reply 3
Avatar for Comus
Comus
10
Original post by Anonymous
Ok, I have been friends with this guy since September and we get on really well.

I thought it was a friendship safely in the platonic zone because he has a girlfriend whom he said he really loved and he knows that I have a boyfriend.

Recently, however, he has been taking every possible opportunity to compliment me, wanting to spend more time with me and seemed to be going off his girlfriend.

Today, he actually said that he now finds his girlfriend dull and that, "even though she's a lovely person", she isn't what he wants. He was also questioning me about my relationship, asking how it's going, if there are any problems, wondering if I see a future with my boyfriend, etc. He seems to take every opportunity to gently criticise my boyfriend or point out potential faults.

I tried to ignore it to begin with, but now it's painfully and unavoidably clear that he is interested in me.

What can I do to put him off?! I am completely in love with my boyfriend and wouldn't leave him for anyone, but I can't tell my friend to back off because he hasn't expressed his interest explicitly. I thought I had already made it clear that my boyfriend and I are for the long term, but he doesn't seem to have got the message. What do I do?!


I would literally just ignore it, if it becomes a major problem then just drift away from him. With that said if he "propositions" you then be polite but firm - tell him that you see him purely platonically and then leave it for a few weeks by which time any post-rejection awkwardness will have subsided.
Reply 4
Avatar for b3kky
b3kky
2
Original post by Anonymous
Ok, I have been friends with this guy since September and we get on really well.

I thought it was a friendship safely in the platonic zone because he has a girlfriend whom he said he really loved and he knows that I have a boyfriend.

Recently, however, he has been taking every possible opportunity to compliment me, wanting to spend more time with me and seemed to be going off his girlfriend.

Today, he actually said that he now finds his girlfriend dull and that, "even though she's a lovely person", she isn't what he wants. He was also questioning me about my relationship, asking how it's going, if there are any problems, wondering if I see a future with my boyfriend, etc. He seems to take every opportunity to gently criticise my boyfriend or point out potential faults.

I tried to ignore it to begin with, but now it's painfully and unavoidably clear that he is interested in me.

What can I do to put him off?! I am completely in love with my boyfriend and wouldn't leave him for anyone, but I can't tell my friend to back off because he hasn't expressed his interest explicitly. I thought I had already made it clear that my boyfriend and I are for the long term, but he doesn't seem to have got the message. What do I do?!


Although it might be harsh to do this but he needs to get the picture that you are not interested; tell him if he does not leave you alone you will tell his girlfriend what he has said, show her messages etc. It's not fair on her to be led on by falsity!

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