losing interest

Louher

I did. But then I met my b/f who I guess was just the right person :smile:

There's no point trying to force something that's just not there, eventually you'll meet someone and you won't lose intrest. At least that's what i've found :biggrin:

i completely agree, as soon as you find the right guy you will stop loosing interest. the feelings you feel at the beginin of a relationship will fade, but they will be replaced with other deeper loving feelings for the guy.
Dont worry about it though, one day the guy will come along! just be patient! :smile:

Reply 3

1

'I seem to have trouble falling in love'

Therein lies your problem. 'Love' is an evil word. Any normal word has finite meanings. Love can be anything to anyone. I can love my toenail or my cool scar that looks like a crescent moon. I can think I love someone but not love them the way they want or the way they love me.

What I'm saying is try to forget 'love'. Just be happy with the moment, the now, and the feelings. Now if you aren't 'happy' (look it up) with whoever you are with then you may want to look at why and perhaps find another partner.

I really have a problem with people's reliance on love yet no one really knows what the damn thing means! Ask 100 people, you get 100 different answers.

I especially hate 'if my boyfriend loved me, he wouldn't masturbate or watch porn'. That's a huge misconception, girls are the key offenders.

Just be happy with 'now'. If you're not HAPPY (forget love) then do something about it, use your common sense.

Reply 4

Wonderboy Blue

I especially hate 'if my boyfriend loved me, he wouldn't masturbate or watch porn'.

i have to admit that i agre with the statement you hate. a guy doenst NEED to masturbate, and i think that if a guy carries on doin so when in a lovin relationship then it shows disrepect for the girl. but i do think it applies both ways, girls also dont need to masturbate or look at porn and, personlally, believe shouldnt when in a relationship. a guy/girl should be able to get adequate sexual pleasure from his/her partner, and not have to search elsewhere for it.

Reply 5

1

sarahb

i have to admit that i agre with the statement you hate. a guy doenst NEED to masturbate, and i think that if a guy carries on doin so when in a lovin relationship then it shows disrepect for the girl. but i do think it applies both ways, girls also dont need to masturbate or look at porn and, personlally, believe shouldnt when in a relationship. a guy/girl should be able to get adequate sexual pleasure from his/her partner, and not have to search elsewhere for it.

No!

Married men masturbate, does that mean they don't love their wives? Priests and vicars masturbate.

It is nothing bad and it has nothing to do with love. Love is different things to different people. Masturbation is a physical urge that everyone gets. Love and masturbation can co-exist. Like I said girls are the worst offenders. If a girl ever asked me to stop masturbating citing that I don't love her I'd just say fook off straight away. It's childish, immature, and a sign of low self esteem on the part of the accuser.

The idealisation of love is another problem. How can you idolise something when you hardly know what it is? How can you then doubt the love of another person? If there is no finite, universal meaning of love that everyone can relate to...how do you know your love is the same as your partner's? Or that your partner loves you less because he/she masturbates? Maybe he loves you more! Porn or whatver may just be an initial stimulus to get him aroused then he can masturbate over you.

I don't know about you but I don't LOVE any pornstars. In fact they repulse me a lot of the time. But they look hot.

People need to get things into perspective. Love is a word. Actions speak louder than words. Show someone you love them. Masturbation does not mean you love someone less.

'Women' these days...

Reply 6

1013

1

I have the same thing where I'll be really into a guy one week and then totally lose interest. I don't think it's that uncommon. As people have said, it's jus that they are not the right guy and it's better to realise that early on than drag it out for months on end.
You'll fnd someone eventually who'll be able to hold your interest for longer. There's no need to actively search for it - it'll happen in time and, meanwhile, enjoy being single!

Reply 7

Wonderboy Blue

No!

Married men masturbate, does that mean they don't love their wives? Priests and vicars masturbate.

ok, lets take your first point first. Firstly, just because a figure of religious authority does/doesn't do something, does not mean in any case that it is correct/wrong. we are sinners, we all sin, including vicars and priests! however, i think you will find that in a lot of christian circles, masturbation is not encouraged. it a part of self control. yes, one may feel the urge to masturbate, and it may make you feel good, but that doesnt in any way make it right. it also includes the issue of lust, when one masturbates it leads to feelings of lust, and this is a sin. i am not claiming here that masturbation is a sin, however, the feelings that go along with it are.

Wonderboy Blue

It is nothing bad and it has nothing to do with love. Love is different things to different people. Masturbation is a physical urge that everyone gets. Love and masturbation can co-exist. Like I said girls are the worst offenders. If a girl ever asked me to stop masturbating citing that I don't love her I'd just say fook off straight away. It's childish, immature, and a sign of low self esteem on the part of the accuser.

secondly, 'If a girl ever asked me to stop masturbating citing that I don't love her I'd just say fook off straight away. It's childish, immature, and a sign of low self esteem on the part of the accuser.' - in some cases, maybe. it could be jealousy on the girls behalf, that you are looking and lusting over other women apart from her. but that is not where i am coming from, it is not a sign of self-esteem, but more a sign of care and love for the guy. masturbation is an addiction, and i for one would not like my boyfriend to be addicted to something. and again, it comes back to lust, and i wouldnt want my boyfriend to fall into a place where he is lusting and not able to control it.

Wonderboy Blue

The idealisation of love is another problem. How can you idolise something when you hardly know what it is? How can you then doubt the love of another person? If there is no finite, universal meaning of love that everyone can relate to...how do you know your love is the same as your partner's? Or that your partner loves you less because he/she masturbates? Maybe he loves you more! Porn or whatver may just be an initial stimulus to get him aroused then he can masturbate over you.

i still also stand by what i said before, i still do think it is a sign of disrespect for the girl. i accept that they may/will still love her, but i stil think it is disrespectful that they cant get arroused from their partner.

Wonderboy Blue

I don't know about you but I don't LOVE any pornstars. In fact they repulse me a lot of the time. But they look hot.

-this is a perfect example of what i was sayin, when one masturbates they simply lust over the models.

Wonderboy Blue

People need to get things into perspective. Love is a word. Actions speak louder than words. Show someone you love them. Masturbation does not mean you love someone less.

-i agree, actions do speak louder than words, and masturbation is an action, and in my eyes a disrespectful and lusting one, not one that shows a partner how much they love them!

it is not impossible for a guy not to masturbate, in fact i know several guys who try not to, and, as far as i know, dont.

Reply 8

xChellex

sarahb

but i stil think it is disrespectful that they cant get arroused from their partner.

It doesn't mean that they don't get aroused from their partners at all!
Yeah ok, if you were with your boyfriend for the night, and he ignored you to watch porn and masturbate, then yes, there is a big issue there.
But what is wrong with guy masturbating in general? If he does watch porn to get him started, it doesn't mean he doesn't find his girfriend attractive or can't get aroused from her.

I think girls put too much meaning on their boyfriends having and watching porn. It seems to me loads of girls jump on topics like these but few guys are worrying about their girlfriend's masturbation habits.

Reply 9

15

Anonymous

Hi,

I really seem to have trouble falling in love. Started liking someone recently for example, really really liked him for a couple of weeks, had all the classic signs and missed him if we didn't speak for a day. Then went on a couple of dates and after each the feeling faded a little more, until last time just didn't like him at all. This process lasted all of 3 weeks.

Before this I had been trying to get over this long term relationship, and havent found anyone attractive at all. But this has been over for almost 2 years, plus that relationship was very on/off and irregular so felt alone most of the time. After 2 years I reckon I'm as over it as I'll ever be, which is not completely, there's still a dull ache under the ribs :redface:

But life has to go on.

My question is, does anyone has this problem of losing interest? Or finding it hard to be interested at all? I feel like a real fickle bitch, and feel sorry for the guy cos he's sweet and I don't want to hurt him. help!

if the person was really interesting you wouldnt of lost interest.

Reply 10

15

Wonderboy Blue

No!

Married men masturbate, does that mean they don't love their wives? Priests and vicars masturbate.

It is nothing bad and it has nothing to do with love. Love is different things to different people. Masturbation is a physical urge that everyone gets. Love and masturbation can co-exist. Like I said girls are the worst offenders. If a girl ever asked me to stop masturbating citing that I don't love her I'd just say fook off straight away. It's childish, immature, and a sign of low self esteem on the part of the accuser.

The idealisation of love is another problem. How can you idolise something when you hardly know what it is? How can you then doubt the love of another person? If there is no finite, universal meaning of love that everyone can relate to...how do you know your love is the same as your partner's? Or that your partner loves you less because he/she masturbates? Maybe he loves you more! Porn or whatver may just be an initial stimulus to get him aroused then he can masturbate over you.

I don't know about you but I don't LOVE any pornstars. In fact they repulse me a lot of the time. But they look hot.

People need to get things into perspective. Love is a word. Actions speak louder than words. Show someone you love them. Masturbation does not mean you love someone less.

'Women' these days...

So you ****, you're proud... what more are you going to do? organise a parade carrying pink and white splattered flags past westminster?? demand little rooms in offices, bars, resturants and pubs so you can plonk one off whereever? complain to the european court of human rights that its unfair that you'll get sacked or kicked out if you sit masturbating at your desk?????

:confused:

you'll fall from that highhorse...

Reply 11

Serenity87

It doesn't mean that they don't get aroused from their partners at all!
Yeah ok, if you were with your boyfriend for the night, and he ignored you to watch porn and masturbate, then yes, there is a big issue there.

i see where your coming from, but then it relates back to what i was saying about lust, while your not there your boyf feels the urge to get aroused... this screams addiction to me. it then also relates back to my view that masturbation is not advisable in the first place. there is no need for it.

Serenity87

But what is wrong with guy masturbating in general? If he does watch porn to get him started, it doesn't mean he doesn't find his girfriend attractive or can't get aroused from her.

as i said above, in general, i think it is wrong as it leads to lust, and is an unnecessay addiction.

Serenity87

I think girls put too much meaning on their boyfriends having and watching porn. It seems to me loads of girls jump on topics like these but few guys are worrying about their girlfriend's masturbation habits.

i agree, i think girls do need to be less hypocrytical. but that doesnt change my view. i think it goes both ways. i think masturbation within girls is a far larger problem than people think. it is a taboo, when it shouldnt be. when a girl masturbates it, by the majority, seen as dirty. i think this is wrong, as i think it is an addiction and a lust problem, just as it is with a guy. but my views on masturbation do not differ from either gender

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for the replies everyone, but I've never liked advice along the lines of 'it's because the person wasn't right for you, just wait for the right person comes along and everything will be fine' I think this is a bit simplistic. I'm one of those people who consistently and chronically can't maintain/start interest in someone. I'm not even talking about love, just basic interest. I look around me at the happy couples and people who go from one long relationship to another and think there must be something wrong with me. I'm like a female version of those terrible men who can't commit :p:

I don't want to go through life like that.

Also this issue of masturbation, can't see why it's such a big issue tbh. Each to their own. Plus sarahb you're not making logical sense, almost anything can be addictive and there are a lot of unnecessary addictions in the world already, alcohol for example, no one recommends banning that :rolleyes:

Reply 13

15

Anonymous

Thanks for the replies everyone, but I've never liked advice along the lines of 'it's because the person wasn't right for you, just wait for the right person comes along and everything will be fine' I think this is a bit simplistic. :

So you're saying you'd rather settle for someone that might not be quite right and doesnt hold your interest rather than wait for that person who does captivate you?

You said yourself you've only just come out of a relationship, maybe you should give yourself a bit of a break to sort your head out, then see how you feel.

People who go from one long relationship to the next are the ones which something is wrong with!

Reply 14

Anonymous

Plus sarahb you're not making logical sense, almost anything can be addictive and there are a lot of unnecessary addictions in the world already, alcohol for example, no one recommends banning that :rolleyes:

the fact that it is an addiction is not my main point, and yes i agree there are several unnecesary adcitions in the world. the problem i see with masturbation is that it leads to lust, that is where the main problem is for me. And alcohol, yes, people become addicted and go to rehab to get over it! i never said to ban masturbation, i just said i dont think its a great thing, as i dont think being an alcoholic is. why is that not logical?

Reply 15

qwerty_st/n

11

Anonymous

Hi,

I really seem to have trouble falling in love. Started liking someone recently for example, really really liked him for a couple of weeks, had all the classic signs and missed him if we didn't speak for a day. Then went on a couple of dates and after each the feeling faded a little more, until last time just didn't like him at all. This process lasted all of 3 weeks.

My question is, does anyone has this problem of losing interest? Or finding it hard to be interested at all? I feel like a real fickle bitch, and feel sorry for the guy cos he's sweet and I don't want to hurt him. help!

yeah, i'm like that all the time too. :redface:

Reply 16

1

sarahb, I take it you're religious?

And Scotto, its not about *******, its about love and *******.

That they are not related. That I can **** over some porn dog yet still love my girlfriend to bits. Or even just use porn to intiate the session. Then think about my girlfriend - is that lusting after another woman or not? Hmm

Girls seem to think porn is a sign of the boyfriend 'losing interest'. It isn't.

People need to chill out and embrace self love :smile:

Reply 17

hah! yes i am a christian! how did u gues!?!? lol

Reply 18

15

Wonderboy Blue

sarahb, I take it you're religious?

And Scotto, its not about *******, its about love and *******.

That they are not related. That I can **** over some porn dog yet still love my girlfriend to bits. Or even just use porn to intiate the session. Then think about my girlfriend - is that lusting after another woman or not? Hmm

Girls seem to think porn is a sign of the boyfriend 'losing interest'. It isn't.

People need to chill out and embrace self love :smile:

If you have a fit girlfriend who turns you on? why do ya need to **** over some 'porn dog' first to intiate the session?

or is it that this girlfriend of yours finds you replusive so you need to bring the porn out to get her turned on? :confused:

generally, when I have a girlfriend, i'm satisfied. lol

if im not, its new girlfriend time.

Reply 19