Why is my ex boyfriend's current girlfriend contacting me so much over nothing?

My ex boyfriend broke up with me a year ago and used to speak every now and then.
We was each others first serious relationship and was together 2 years.
He's started to contact me these last few months and this week he's started talking way more. I haven't really thought much about it.
But He was talking about how he's sorry for the way he treated me and realised i am a nice person and generally saying some rather nice stuff along with the odd questions about uni. (being as we used to be in the same class till i moved uni's last year)
But I haven't replied much this week due to me working and him having a gf. and i even said to him 'that i hope your gf is ok with you speaking to me.' he said that they aren't together at the moment because she apparently cheated on him and even if they was she wont care because he can talk to his friends if he wants too.

but last night i got a rude message on fb from his current girlfriend (even though i was told they aren't together) saying that i'm a dreadful bitch and should stop talking to him and respect her feelings.
Now i won't lie i can see where she's coming from as i can understand it being uncomfortable having your so called bf talking to their ex.
but i didn't know they was together and i haven't been speaking back in a way that i want him. because i don't.

What can i do about this situation?
I've stopped speaking to him, and he also messaged me last night to warned me that she messaged me on fb while i was at work and said that its all ok and stuff, she just got a bit upset that we was talking.
but she keeps messaging me some rather mean things, even though i have replied saying i'm sorry and that i'll stop speaking to him.
i then also told my ex that its best not to be in contact anymore.

but if there anything i can do?
and is the stuff she's doing ok?
(sorry if this was confusing i tried my best to explain the situation without rambling.)

Reply 1

username998490

firstly,
it seems as though your ex may be keen to reconcile with you; his attempt to say he and his girlfriend are through doesn't add up with the fact that she seems very very threatened by you. Even if they are 'apart', they have some unfinished business or else she wouldn't be messaging you, the rudeness is not justified of course.

Maybe the best course of action would be to cut all contact with him, delete him off the neccessary sites, just so that your lack of presence will show his girlfriend you pose no threat.

Reply 2

Maudee4567

I would think she's being quite rude when you seem to have done nothing wrong. Especially as it seems obvious she doesn't trust him (even if apparently she's the one that cheated) and heck if you're really just talking to him about general stuff and not trying to get him back you're doing nothing wrong!
And she definatly has no right to send you mean messages calling you a bitch, if there's a problem with you 2 talking she should be sorting it out with her boyfriend, not you.

However I would just cut the bridges, it seems like a sticky situation that isn't worth the hassle. Unless you really want a friendship with your ex, it looks like he has a lot of stuff to sort out and you probably don't wan to get meddled in it.

Reply 3

Lotus_Eater

Tell her if she has a problem she should speak to her boyfriend. You're perfectly entitled to have an amicable relationship with an ex. If she can't cope with that, she needs to confront him about it.

I know it's unpleasant to get these messages but I would refer her to her boyfriend and say that you'll simply ignore any subsequent messages. After a few days she'll get it.

Reply 4

Pariah

post her a Jiffy bag full of poo

and tell your ex, who is hoping for a shag, to piss off

Reply 5

Quilt

You're not in the wrong here, you've respected her feelings without being rude to your ex! Did you tell her that he said they weren't together anymore?

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Ok thanks guys. i'm glad i'm not the only one who thought she was a bit out of order, especially when i replied to her first message saying 'I understand and i'm sorry, i will leave him alone'
but she keeps sending stuff. All in all she's sent me 3 messages and i've replied to one which was the first one. and i was actually rather nice about it instead of being rude back, which i did want to do. even if she was to of said it in a nicer way it wouldnt of bothered me.
And I know a lot of people disagree on staying in contact or being friends with an ex, but i really done see anything wrong when i'm not interested in him anymore.
I've never personally been in a situation like this so i needed to see what you guys thought.
My ex messaged me and apologised for her messages and i think they are now sorting it out between the two of them as i said to him she should speak to you and not be so rude to me when all I'm doing nothing but replying like a normal person.

but yeah cheers for the comments, im just staying away really, its the best i can do so i don't cause any problems.

Reply 7

Chocolatesoup

He's the one initiating contact, not you, you didnt start talking to him again, he got in touch with you first. therefore you arent doing anything wrong. you arent chasing after him or meddling or getting involved at all. but as usual girls always blame the girl rather than realising its the guy whos in the wrong or causing problems. if you want her to leave you alone you could always block her. you could block him too, then theyre both unable to contact you and you can be left in peace. but id maybe suggest not messaging him again or replying because hes maybe just using you to make his ex/his current gf/whatever she is jealous. best to stay away..

Reply 8

Silink

Your ex is a player, he is trying to do a double game, but obviously flopped. Do not speak with him, Do tell that mean b**** about him telling you that hey weren't together.. Do ignore her after that. Cos they really shouldn't be interfering with your life like that.

Reply 9

Polkadot2

Stop speaking to him. Apologise to her and post what you posted on here about ' he told me they weren't together and she'd be fine with it.' Tell her that you understand her point of view and you will stop talking to him. Stop speaking to him.

It will be more effective if you just send her a polite message and then ignore her. There isn't much else you can do. Steer clear of their relationship problems or you will get blamed for it.