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Physical relationship at a young age

I just found out that a close relative of mine is having sex at age of 15! Her parents are both very strict/traditional and I found out they did it at a B&B where the guy booked a room, I'm in a moral dilemma now because her parents would expect me to tell them if I knew as we just have that kind of relationship, but then I don't want to get her into trouble aswell. Isn't 15 too young? Should they be doing this kind of sutff and how can I do right by her and her parents? I wishd I'd never found out! :mad:

Any help from people hear would be reallly appreciated.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

15 isn't just too young, it's illegal

Reply 2

bunthulhu

14

Depends on the exact situation to be honest. Was it a one night stand, a long term relationship, or what? I don't think you should tell them though, unless the guy's a paedophile, because to be honest it's her life!

Reply 3

silverbolt

19

i suggest you act as if you know nothing you wont do her any favours by telling her mom and it will cost at best your friends trust at worst your friendship with her.

as for 15 being too young that varies on peoples opinion mine persoanlly is that its not too young PROVIDING she is being careful and using condoms

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Well they btoh recently turn 16 so I dnt knw if they've been doing it before 16 but I just assumed they had. They are officially 16 now, so its legal now, but still I think its too young and her parents are strictly against that.

Reply 5

lirael2

1

Anonymous

15 isn't just too young, it's illegal

Exactly the guy she did it with could be put to jail if they wanted to go down that route. But I can see where your coming from. The best thing to do is to outway the consepuances of telling with not telling.

Reply 6

sarahb

have you talked to your friend about it? if you feel condemned to tell her parents, talk to her first, explain how you are feeling about the whole situation. if she is a best friend, she should/will understand :smile:

Reply 7

bunthulhu

14

So basically you are saying they are in a long term relationship? And you are only assuming they had sex underage? I don't think they'd just randomly book into a BnB to have sex, unless it was a special occasion, i.e., it was their first time. You might think it is too young but does that necessarily mean you should infringe on her privacy?

Reply 8

puppy

She's 16 now, it's none of your business or her parents

Reply 9

wendizzle22

1

As he's 16 too it's not like she's being corrupted by some experience adult. Maybe you could have a word to make sure she knows about all her options about contraception, (and STIs if they've had previous partners), but it's not your place to 'tell on her' if she's doing something completely legal.

Reply 10

Bubblebee

15

If I were her and you told my parents I would hate you so much.

I'd suggest leaving it and getting off your high horse, why did she tell you unless she trusted you?

Are you much older? You sound like you are her mother!

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Its not like I chose to hear this, how can you help it when you find out about things like this accidentally! Its not my falt, but I knw her parents are are aginst it so I just have a moral dilemma that I should let them knw, they have a right to knw dn't they?! She is their hcild and they decided how to raise her, not me. I knw is not my business but I have ears and I just feel really bad knowing what her parents would think about this and I kept it from them, what if they find out and they find ut I knw? then I'm in trouble as well!

Reply 12

hippieglitter

19

I hate it when people say its none of the parents business. Sure it is her choice if she wants to have sex that's up to her, they can't stop her and shouldn't try. But a child is their parents business, i'm 19 and i'm still my parents business and like being my parents business cos i feel if i wasn't my parents business i would have no grown ups to care about me or support me if i got into trouble. My dad is 50 and he is still his parent's business. You will always be your parents business, so don't go saying you're not. Also there is adanger in telling your parents that it s none of their business cos they might actually think 'well if its none of my business why should i care?' and they won't be there when you really need them.

Reply 13

Bubblebee

15

Just forget it, what favours are you doing anyone... when they find out it will be alot of upset for everyone. Don't stir stuff up and interfere, that's as bad as anything.

Reply 14

bunthulhu

14

No they don't have a right to know, she is legally old enough to decide to have sex by herself, therefore it has nothing to do with her parents. Unless you think she is a belonging of her parents and they have a right to control her every action? They decided how to raise her, they do not and cannot decide how she should live her life.

And don't tell on her just because you're worried you're going to get told on first :rolleyes:

Reply 15

bunthulhu

14

hippieglitter

I hate it when people say its none of the parents business. Sure it is her choice if she wants to have sex that's up to her, they can't stop her and shouldn't try. But a child is their parents business, i'm 19 and i'm still my parents business and like being my parents business cos i feel if i wasn't my parents business i would have no grown ups to care about me or support me if i got into trouble. My dad is 50 and he is still his parent's business. You will always be your parents business, so don't go saying you're not. Also there is adanger in telling your parents that it s none of their business cos they might actually think 'well if its none of my business why should i care?' and they won't be there when you really need them.

You in general as their child are their business but what is not their business is the details of your sex life!! In no way is it the end of the world or they're going to abandon you if they don't know all about that.

Reply 16

Talon

18

Anonymous

Its not like I chose to hear this, how can you help it when you find out about things like this accidentally! Its not my falt, but I knw her parents are are aginst it so I just have a moral dilemma that I should let them knw, they have a right to knw dn't they?! She is their hcild and they decided how to raise her, not me. I knw is not my business but I have ears and I just feel really bad knowing what her parents would think about this and I kept it from them, what if they find out and they find ut I knw? then I'm in trouble as well!

How about you respect this persons privacy? Its is all legal (now atleast) so I dont see why it should be bothering you. Just forget about it. Its her life, not yours.

Reply 17

Leigh

15

Bubblebee

If I were her and you told my parents I would hate you so much.

I'd suggest leaving it and getting off your high horse, why did she tell you unless she trusted you?

Are you much older? You sound like you are her mother!

She was asking for opinions/advice, so I don't think she's 'on her high horse' at all. If the story was 'I've known my 15 yr old cousin has been having sex for however long and now she's pregnant/dying' the feedback would be slightly different, no? It's all fun and games until someone winds up with a kid or an STD.

OP, I don't know what I'd do in your place, but I don't think it would be to turn a blind eye like everyone is suggesting.

Reply 18

Psyk

16

My advice is ignore it. It has nothing to do with you. Mind your own business. Two 15 year olds having sex, while technically illegal, is really not a big deal. What would the authorities do? A slap on the wrist and told not to do it again, which they can't anyway since they are now old enough.

Reply 19

bunthulhu

14

King Leigh

She was asking for opinions/advice, so I don't think she's 'on her high horse' at all. If the story was 'I've known my 15 yr old cousin has been having sex for however long and now she's pregnant/dying' the feedback would be slightly different, no? It's all fun and games until someone winds up with a kid or an STD.

OP, I don't know what I'd do in your place, but I don't think it would be to turn a blind eye like everyone is suggesting.

Respecting someone's privacy is not necessarily the same thing as turning a blind eye; as some people have suggested the OP could talk to the girl and make sure she is having safe sex. It's not very fair to just assume she's lacking a brain and will be pregnant/have an STI.

Physical relationship at a young age

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