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Getting a bit broody

Ok details first, I'm 19, about to start my 2nd year at uni, my boyfriend is 24 and also about to start his 2nd year and the same uni. I dunno why but recently i have started to get really broody, for instance wanting to get married and have a baby. I know this would be the worst time possible to have child, i would have to give up my degree and neither me or my boyfriend are financially stable being students. I know my boyfriend doesn't want a kid right now and i'm not gonna go and deliberately try and get pregnant by coming of the pill behind his back, I wouldn't do something like that, but why do i keep feeling like this? I know he doens;t wannt get married either, in fact he insists he is never ever gonna get married. We went to a friends wedding the other day and i almost cried, I don't even know why, he was obviously pleased that i didn't catch the brides bouquet and all his friends were going on about 'so is it gonna be you guys next then?' I just dunno what i can do to stop feeling like this, i dunno anybody else who is feeling like this and it is really getting to me. I've tried talking to my boyfriend about it but he just hugs me and says i am being silly and to forget about it cos its not gonna happen any time soon, if it happens at all.

Reply 1

bunthulhu

14

hippieglitter

I've tried talking to my boyfriend about it but he just hugs me and says i am being silly and to forget about it cos its not gonna happen any time soon, if it happens at all.

Sorry but that bit kind of rings alarm bells in my head! It just sounds like he is completely dismissing your feelings! Fair enough if he doesn't want to but he seems to be acting incredibly insensitive towards you.

Reply 2

El Scotto

15

hippieglitter

Ok details first, I'm 19, about to start my 2nd year at uni, my boyfriend is 24 and also about to start his 2nd year and the same uni. I dunno why but recently i have started to get really broody, for instance wanting to get married and have a baby. I know this would be the worst time possible to have child, i would have to give up my degree and neither me or my boyfriend are financially stable being students. I know my boyfriend doesn't want a kid right now and i'm not gonna go and deliberately try and get pregnant by coming of the pill behind his back, I wouldn't do something like that, but why do i keep feeling like this? I know he doens;t wannt get married either, in fact he insists he is never ever gonna get married. We went to a friends wedding the other day and i almost cried, I don't even know why, he was obviously pleased that i didn't catch the brides bouquet and all his friends were going on about 'so is it gonna be you guys next then?' I just dunno what i can do to stop feeling like this, i dunno anybody else who is feeling like this and it is really getting to me. I've tried talking to my boyfriend about it but he just hugs me and says i am being silly and to forget about it cos its not gonna happen any time soon, if it happens at all.

think you should listen to your boyfriend if thats what he thinks.

otherwise you'll scare him. you'd scare me... lol

Reply 3

El Scotto

15

hippieglitter

Ok details first, I'm 19, about to start my 2nd year at uni, my boyfriend is 24 and also about to start his 2nd year and the same uni. I dunno why but recently i have started to get really broody, for instance wanting to get married and have a baby. I know this would be the worst time possible to have child, i would have to give up my degree and neither me or my boyfriend are financially stable being students. I know my boyfriend doesn't want a kid right now and i'm not gonna go and deliberately try and get pregnant by coming of the pill behind his back, I wouldn't do something like that, but why do i keep feeling like this? I know he doens;t wannt get married either, in fact he insists he is never ever gonna get married. We went to a friends wedding the other day and i almost cried, I don't even know why, he was obviously pleased that i didn't catch the brides bouquet and all his friends were going on about 'so is it gonna be you guys next then?' I just dunno what i can do to stop feeling like this, i dunno anybody else who is feeling like this and it is really getting to me. I've tried talking to my boyfriend about it but he just hugs me and says i am being silly and to forget about it cos its not gonna happen any time soon, if it happens at all.

think you should listen to your boyfriend if thats what he thinks.

otherwise you'll scare him. you'd scare me... lol

maybe your pills playing with your hormones a little and you need a break from it anyway?

if its all ment to be, theres no harm in waiting till you've both finished uni and are more finacially stable, it'll be better for whatever children you have then.

I've got friends who struggle whilst being poor bringing up babies and its not nice.

Reply 4

ellewoods

10

It's just a phase, it'll pass. With your friend getting married and stuff, it puts ideas into your head.

One of my best friends has just given birth and got engaged within ten days. I literally did nothing but cry with both joy and jealousy...

I've been with my boyfriend for going on 5 years, and I'm a very settled person on the whole, even when I was at uni, and sometimes I have irresistable urges to pack in my career and have babies and stay at home. Then it passes and I cant wait to be a career girl!!

Just wait it out, it'll pass. Try and spend a whole afternoon with someone with a small child - you'll hugely enjoy it, and think "ooh I want one" then when you get home it will hit you how relieved you are that you can walk away!! :rolleyes:

(or it wont and you'll be worse.... :redface:

)

But if the real issue is that you're worried about your boyfriends' long term ideals of life ie that he wont ever marry you or have kids, then you need to talk to him. Not to have them right now, but in the future!! But it will set your mind at ease.

:smile:

x

Reply 5

aleathiel

16

I went through a phase like that but I got over it pretty quick when I realised what a handful kids can be and how much more I wanna have a career than a family :p:

although I will have kids one day I'm not planning it anytime soon :smile:

If you're broody then borrow my nephew for an hour and you'll soon change your mind, honest :p:

Reply 6

hippieglitter

OP

19

aleathiel

I went through a phase like that but I got over it pretty quick when I realised what a handful kids can be and how much more I wanna have a career than a family :p:

although I will have kids one day I'm not planning it anytime soon :smile:

If you're broody then borrow my nephew for an hour and you'll soon change your mind, honest :p:

I spent a whole day with my 4 mad cousins who are 2, 4, 6 and 8 and it hasn't put me off children at all even though the 4 year old and the 8 year old are complete nightmares compared to the 2 year old and the 6 year old who are absolute sweeties.

Reply 7

SianyLou

10

But all kids go through the phase of being, well, 8.

Reply 8

saoirse

10

I know how you feel! Im a bit older at 21, but lately i have felt so broody! I do love children, and nearly all my part time work has been with kids, (though i hated dolls as a kid! lol) but until recently i always only wanted to be a parent in the far off future! The other day i was really wistful, thinking, i wont realistically be ready for a baby of my own for another 5 or 6 years...its mad! i was never the wannabe mum in my group of friends!!

Reply 9

aleathiel

16

hippieglitter

I spent a whole day with my 4 mad cousins who are 2, 4, 6 and 8 and it hasn't put me off children at all even though the 4 year old and the 8 year old are complete nightmares compared to the 2 year old and the 6 year old who are absolute sweeties.

meh my nephew's not even 3 till the 27th of this month and he's a nightmare lol, he even swears then he gets a smack from my stepsis and just laughs! :eek:

meh if I ever have kids they'll be nothing like that!

What's funny is that when I was in secondary school I so badly wanted to have a baby and my best friend at the time used to say she would never have kids, now she's the one with the baby :p:

Reply 10

friendlyneutron

11

Ugh, kids. I'm seriously thinking of getting a "No Lodgers" sign on my uterus.

Seriously though, it's a shame you're upset. Do you think this is the sort of thing that may pass when you get to uni and are more distracted?

Reply 11

high priestess fnord

9

friendlyneutron

Ugh, kids. I'm seriously thinking of getting a "No Lodgers" sign on my uterus.

hehe ditto. no kids *shudders*

Reply 12

1013

1

Well, if you are going to have a baby, your current boyfriend doesn't really sound like the ideal candidate for father! He doesn't even want marriage and having a baby is a way bigger commitment than that. I think that because your boyfriend is shying away from commitment, it is making you want the whole marriage / baby thing even more - maybe as a mean of tying him down. 19 sounds awfully young to me to even be thinking about stuff like that and I'm not surpriesed your boyfriend isn't into the idea either - even 24 seems too young to me for all that business!

Reply 13

username47781

20

i would say 19 is way to early for a baby, but yeah its a phase your going through you got so much to do before then.

Reply 14

tbm

13

I have the opposite problem- its my boyfriend thats getting broody, not me! He's 24 and Im 22, so maybe he's at that age when he wants to start thinking about having kids! Doesnt help really that one of his friends has just had a baby I suppose. Im happy to have kids but Ive told him he's got to wait a few years yet and he's happy with that!

Reply 15

Lunar_Scorpion

OP, I feel like that sometimes...

Reply 16

Helenia

20

I feel that way sometimes, and I do plenty of work with kids, so I know just what little horrors they can be. But deep down I know it's not the right time, so it's not something I'd do just on a whim. These phases come and go, definitely :wink:

Reply 17

hippieglitter

OP

19

You all say its a phase, but it hasn't lessened at all since it started last september, and i seem to see young mums or mums to be everywhere.

Reply 18

username47781

20

hippieglitter

You all say its a phase, but it hasn't lessened at all since it started last september, and i seem to see young mums or mums to be everywhere.

How many of them regretted getting pregnant though? seriously don't bow to it you got a bright future ahead, do you really want to throw that away, get your degree then get some money behind you then maybe think about marriage and a family.

Reply 19

hippieglitter

OP

19

1013

Well, if you are going to have a baby, your current boyfriend doesn't really sound like the ideal candidate for father! He doesn't even want marriage and having a baby is a way bigger commitment than that. I think that because your boyfriend is shying away from commitment, it is making you want the whole marriage / baby thing even more - maybe as a mean of tying him down. 19 sounds awfully young to me to even be thinking about stuff like that and I'm not surpriesed your boyfriend isn't into the idea either - even 24 seems too young to me for all that business!

He says he has nothing against having kids with me but not right now, its only marriage that he is flatly refusing.

Getting a bit broody

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