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College parents - a short questionnaire
Hey guys,
I'm looking into college parenting at Oxford, in the hope of making Merton's better and wondering about different procedure at other colleges. If you could answer these questions, I would love you totally lots and you can gladly have rep or I'll owe you one - feel free to pull in this favour
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
- How often do you see your college parents?
- Would you call them friends?
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
I'm doing this unofficially on TSR, because JCR Execs tend to have a different view of their glorious and perfect parenting scheme...
Cheers anyhoo! I'm happy to accept PMs instead of posts etc.
- M xx
I'm looking into college parenting at Oxford, in the hope of making Merton's better and wondering about different procedure at other colleges. If you could answer these questions, I would love you totally lots and you can gladly have rep or I'll owe you one - feel free to pull in this favour
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
- How often do you see your college parents?
- Would you call them friends?
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
I'm doing this unofficially on TSR, because JCR Execs tend to have a different view of their glorious and perfect parenting scheme...
Cheers anyhoo! I'm happy to accept PMs instead of posts etc.- M xx
Scroll to see replies
Ok:
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
At Jesus nobody has parents who do the same subject as them, although your "subject parents" as it were are responsible for having you up to stay during the TT or HT after you get your offer, and they do take you out for drinks during freshers week. So you know them too, but they're not your "real parents" as it were. Everybody gets 2 parents, who choose to be married to one another, and a sibling. (Apart from me *sniff* my brother didn't make the grade
)
The freshers committee were camped out in the lodge handing out freshers packs and telling me how to get round to the right entrance of Turl st so I could get in!!
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
Judging by my later experiences of college parents no - they were a bit crap really and would have just made me feel more awkward!
- How often do you see your college parents?
Rarely - one is an international student who I don't think I have ever seen in the company of a non-Japanese person, and the other is... weird to say the least. Since my parenting dinner I've run into Yuri (mum) once and dragged her to G+Ds with us and other than that I've said hi to my dad in corridors...
- Would you call them friends?
Haha! no!
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
To be honest it had never occurred to me to do this - we just don't @ Jesus. I mean how would you know when your kid was arriving? And imagine the whole of Jesus 2nd year crammed into the lodge teehee!!
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
It's agreed that all parents will have their kids over for dinner on Saturday of freshers week but other than that the scheme is actually pretty redundant.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Generally speaking, none. I know some parents still have their kids over occasionally but generally speaking the only close bonds I know which have arisen are in cases where e.g. mother and daughter row together or father and son both sing in chapel - so they see one another on a twice weekly basis anyway!
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
At Jesus nobody has parents who do the same subject as them, although your "subject parents" as it were are responsible for having you up to stay during the TT or HT after you get your offer, and they do take you out for drinks during freshers week. So you know them too, but they're not your "real parents" as it were. Everybody gets 2 parents, who choose to be married to one another, and a sibling. (Apart from me *sniff* my brother didn't make the grade
) - Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
The freshers committee were camped out in the lodge handing out freshers packs and telling me how to get round to the right entrance of Turl st so I could get in!!
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
Judging by my later experiences of college parents no - they were a bit crap really and would have just made me feel more awkward!
- How often do you see your college parents?
Rarely - one is an international student who I don't think I have ever seen in the company of a non-Japanese person, and the other is... weird to say the least. Since my parenting dinner I've run into Yuri (mum) once and dragged her to G+Ds with us and other than that I've said hi to my dad in corridors...
- Would you call them friends?
Haha! no!
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
To be honest it had never occurred to me to do this - we just don't @ Jesus. I mean how would you know when your kid was arriving? And imagine the whole of Jesus 2nd year crammed into the lodge teehee!!
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
It's agreed that all parents will have their kids over for dinner on Saturday of freshers week but other than that the scheme is actually pretty redundant.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Generally speaking, none. I know some parents still have their kids over occasionally but generally speaking the only close bonds I know which have arisen are in cases where e.g. mother and daughter row together or father and son both sing in chapel - so they see one another on a twice weekly basis anyway!
Reply 2
here ya go megsy. gimme some love (rep) hehe!
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
if the numbers work out (i.e same number of people in each subject as the year before) then we all get one, and they're always in the same subject.
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
freshers reps - team of 6 elected in trinity. we met our parents the first night we were up though.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
nope - seems silly to get an entire year up to college and confuse everyone when we've got perfectly good freshers reps..
- How often do you see your college parents?
around college, have a chat on occasion, nothing too special - by now they're just a friend i call 'mummy' hehe!
- Would you call them friends?
very much so.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
i won't be carrying in stuff for them, but i'll be around on the 1st evening - all the freshers get tickets on their way in and parents get pidged the same number so we can find them - then the parent buys the child a drink..
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
at the end of freshers week we always have parents invite kids over to the house to cook a meal for them. kids brings wine. hehe.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
none - all set up by the freshers reps, but i think it doesnt change year to year (from what i can understand).
there ya go. xxx
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
if the numbers work out (i.e same number of people in each subject as the year before) then we all get one, and they're always in the same subject.
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
freshers reps - team of 6 elected in trinity. we met our parents the first night we were up though.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
nope - seems silly to get an entire year up to college and confuse everyone when we've got perfectly good freshers reps..
- How often do you see your college parents?
around college, have a chat on occasion, nothing too special - by now they're just a friend i call 'mummy' hehe!
- Would you call them friends?
very much so.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
i won't be carrying in stuff for them, but i'll be around on the 1st evening - all the freshers get tickets on their way in and parents get pidged the same number so we can find them - then the parent buys the child a drink..
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
at the end of freshers week we always have parents invite kids over to the house to cook a meal for them. kids brings wine. hehe.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
none - all set up by the freshers reps, but i think it doesnt change year to year (from what i can understand).
there ya go. xxx
What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
2 parents = 2 offspring, norm seems to be opposite sex of the same subject & parents that are doing different subjects… but sometimes it doesn’t quite work out – last year I had a biochem son & this year I have *touch wood* two sons.
Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
It was probably a Freshers’ Committee/JCR Committee member – a big table of them wearing T shirts in the lodge..!
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
As others have said – don’t think it’s necessary & would have made the whole meet & greet incredibly complicated. I think at that point quite a few people will just want to find their room, get vaguely settled, lose your parents (who will probably be highly stressed about oxford traffic!) & *then* start meeting loads of different people.
How often do you see your college parents?
One I saw at subjecty stuff – drinks/society/tute changes.
Other I saw rarely around college/town.
Would you call them friends?
Not really (though perhaps my acquaintance / friend benchmark is high ).
Neither could be arsed to write letters before I came up…
Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
Hopefully – hospitals permitting! I did last year & if I can this year then hubby will be instructed to be. But probably only if they contact me before term (I gave details in the letter) - otherwise hunting down their room seems slightly stalkerish. Most of my friends do pop over to the first year building to meet fresher’s in general on the first day.
What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
Family meal on the first night in Oxford – normally en mass, but you can split & do your own thing if you want.
What activities are self-organised within the family?
My parents – nothing.
With my children - we didn’t do any specifically “family” stuff really just invited each other along to things we were involved in & social events. But some friends do additional family meals throughout the year.
2 parents = 2 offspring, norm seems to be opposite sex of the same subject & parents that are doing different subjects… but sometimes it doesn’t quite work out – last year I had a biochem son & this year I have *touch wood* two sons.
Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
It was probably a Freshers’ Committee/JCR Committee member – a big table of them wearing T shirts in the lodge..!
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
As others have said – don’t think it’s necessary & would have made the whole meet & greet incredibly complicated. I think at that point quite a few people will just want to find their room, get vaguely settled, lose your parents (who will probably be highly stressed about oxford traffic!) & *then* start meeting loads of different people.
How often do you see your college parents?
One I saw at subjecty stuff – drinks/society/tute changes.
Other I saw rarely around college/town.
Would you call them friends?
Not really (though perhaps my acquaintance / friend benchmark is high
). Neither could be arsed to write letters before I came up…
Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
Hopefully – hospitals permitting! I did last year & if I can this year then hubby will be instructed to be. But probably only if they contact me before term (I gave details in the letter) - otherwise hunting down their room seems slightly stalkerish. Most of my friends do pop over to the first year building to meet fresher’s in general on the first day.
What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
Family meal on the first night in Oxford – normally en mass, but you can split & do your own thing if you want.
What activities are self-organised within the family?
My parents – nothing.
With my children - we didn’t do any specifically “family” stuff really just invited each other along to things we were involved in & social events. But some friends do additional family meals throughout the year.
Reply 5
Info for Queen's, repayment can be in whatever form, although I reckon undying love should do
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
2 parents, usually mother + father, in different subjects
2 kids, usually daughter has subject of father and son that of mother
Deciding of the parent couples is done by proposal, which is quite fun, especially when kneeling in Filth is involved!
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
1st day is helping moving in and then JCR exec run some kind of group activity designed to get people to know each other, generally involving humiliating group activities.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
Perhaps, but it might be unreasonable to expect all parents to arrive as early as all the freshers.
- How often do you see your college parents?
Have a meal with your parents on the 2nd night. Some families have meals/drinking sessions through the year. Other than that it's more just in passing, unless you need some help.
- Would you call them friends?
Not my parents, cos they were rubbish, I would call my kids m friends though. Somewhat of a tradition for us also to buy our kids carnations.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
Possibly, depends if I'm back by then. Most people don't do this, the exec have to be there to help.
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
As above - parent dinner. Parents write individual letters to their kids during the summer.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Depends on the family. I had (through my wife) 2 family meals and subsequent drinking games.
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
2 parents, usually mother + father, in different subjects
2 kids, usually daughter has subject of father and son that of mother
Deciding of the parent couples is done by proposal, which is quite fun, especially when kneeling in Filth is involved!
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
1st day is helping moving in and then JCR exec run some kind of group activity designed to get people to know each other, generally involving humiliating group activities.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
Perhaps, but it might be unreasonable to expect all parents to arrive as early as all the freshers.
- How often do you see your college parents?
Have a meal with your parents on the 2nd night. Some families have meals/drinking sessions through the year. Other than that it's more just in passing, unless you need some help.
- Would you call them friends?
Not my parents, cos they were rubbish, I would call my kids m friends though. Somewhat of a tradition for us also to buy our kids carnations.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
Possibly, depends if I'm back by then. Most people don't do this, the exec have to be there to help.
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
As above - parent dinner. Parents write individual letters to their kids during the summer.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Depends on the family. I had (through my wife) 2 family meals and subsequent drinking games.
Info for Catz
What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
You marry someone doing a different subject and most parents get two children, one doing the mothers subject and one doing the fathers. It's possible that you will get a visiting student as well but you don't find that out until you arrive on the first day
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
You first meet some of the jcr committee in the porters lodge, but that is only to sort out keys etc. In the freshers plan there are times of what's going on, so at a certain time everyone goes down to the jcr to meet their children/parents. Parents then take the children for a drink somewhere around oxford and then into hall for dinner, all paid for by the loving parents. This is all on the day that the freshers arrive.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
Not really, you wouldn't really have time to talk to them/meet them properly because most people are with their own parents.
- How often do you see your college parents?
My original parents allocated to me = hardly ever, even though my mum was living on the same staircase as me...they weren't very friendly/sociable and they were 3rd yrs. So I was adopted by a 2nd yr family that I saw everyday, even my grandparents.
- Would you call them friends?
Yep with all of them, we give good luck cards/ carnations etc
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
No one does this, you meet them later in the day at the time the committee have arranged. Gives the children time to say bye to parents/unpack/ meet neighbours
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
you meet them, then it's tradition to go for a drink and to dinner with other families so freshers can mix etc
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Depends on the family, sometimes a family meal later in the year. If you are friends with your parents anyway then you tend to see them/ go out with them on a regular basis anyway
What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
You marry someone doing a different subject and most parents get two children, one doing the mothers subject and one doing the fathers. It's possible that you will get a visiting student as well but you don't find that out until you arrive on the first day
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
You first meet some of the jcr committee in the porters lodge, but that is only to sort out keys etc. In the freshers plan there are times of what's going on, so at a certain time everyone goes down to the jcr to meet their children/parents. Parents then take the children for a drink somewhere around oxford and then into hall for dinner, all paid for by the loving parents. This is all on the day that the freshers arrive.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
Not really, you wouldn't really have time to talk to them/meet them properly because most people are with their own parents.
- How often do you see your college parents?
My original parents allocated to me = hardly ever, even though my mum was living on the same staircase as me...they weren't very friendly/sociable and they were 3rd yrs. So I was adopted by a 2nd yr family that I saw everyday, even my grandparents.
- Would you call them friends?
Yep with all of them, we give good luck cards/ carnations etc
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
No one does this, you meet them later in the day at the time the committee have arranged. Gives the children time to say bye to parents/unpack/ meet neighbours
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
you meet them, then it's tradition to go for a drink and to dinner with other families so freshers can mix etc
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Depends on the family, sometimes a family meal later in the year. If you are friends with your parents anyway then you tend to see them/ go out with them on a regular basis anyway
This is from St Catz.
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
Two parents, doing different subjects. Generally one will be doing the same subject as you. The number of children parents have is quite variable - in my family I had a brother (doing the same subject as me) and a sister, who was an American visiting student. No child was doing the same subject as my mother, though that isn't typical.
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
No one; I came two days early to go to the international students' orientation. But we got the programme for Freshers' Week in August, so I knew what to expect; there was a meeting with all the JCR committee members on the first 'official' day of Freshers' Week, and in the same meeting we were to meet our parents. (My mother showed up some half an hour late, and then we had to go get my father, who was in his room. A rather bad start really!)
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
Not really, it was nice to have had the chance to settle down before being forced to meet lots of people. Not that I'd be *opposed* to that in principle - either way is fine.
- How often do you see your college parents?
A few times in 0th and 1st weeks of Michaelmas, then only very very occasionally, for example in the queue for Hall. Oh, and I was seated next to my father for Trinity term collections!
- Would you call them friends?
No, they don't even say hello any more. I don't think they recognise me - and talking to my sister, they don't say hello to her, either (which makes me very glad - at least I'm not the only unloved child!).
They weren't very good parents, to be honest - they didn't even send a letter to me in advance, and they were horribly late to the parents meeting.
But I know lots of people have stayed friends with their parents. I simply take it their parents were better - can't be blaming ME for losing touch, clearly.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
I'm not having children this year, but I'd want to meet them if I were to have them. However, I don't think most people are coming to college early enough to be honest - no one made any announcements that college parents should apply for vacation residence to come on Tuesday rather than Thursday of 0th week, so I think practically everyone missed the deadline. Not sure if that's final though - I think the college would want parents to come earlier.
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
The JCR assigns parents and organises the meeting with the parents. It also forces one person per subject to organise a subject lunch for everyone.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
My parents took me to a pub on the Tuesday of 0th week. Then we had an extended family dinner (in Pizza Hut, admittedly, but it was nice!): my parents and siblings and my parents' last year's child (so presumably my sister?) and her husband and her children. That was quite lovely!
My brother does the same subject as me, so I see him all the time and can't really consider him a 'brother' as a result. But my sister and I have kept in touch, and when she had children (in Trinity term - some new American visiting students came), we went to Hall together as a family. I've also kept in touch with my niece (my parent's last year's daughter's daughter), sort of; but I don't tend to see the rest of the family very often. (I do say hello to everyone in the family but my parents - strange world!)
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
Two parents, doing different subjects. Generally one will be doing the same subject as you. The number of children parents have is quite variable - in my family I had a brother (doing the same subject as me) and a sister, who was an American visiting student. No child was doing the same subject as my mother, though that isn't typical.
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
No one; I came two days early to go to the international students' orientation. But we got the programme for Freshers' Week in August, so I knew what to expect; there was a meeting with all the JCR committee members on the first 'official' day of Freshers' Week, and in the same meeting we were to meet our parents. (My mother showed up some half an hour late, and then we had to go get my father, who was in his room. A rather bad start really!)
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
Not really, it was nice to have had the chance to settle down before being forced to meet lots of people. Not that I'd be *opposed* to that in principle - either way is fine.
- How often do you see your college parents?
A few times in 0th and 1st weeks of Michaelmas, then only very very occasionally, for example in the queue for Hall. Oh, and I was seated next to my father for Trinity term collections!
- Would you call them friends?
No, they don't even say hello any more. I don't think they recognise me - and talking to my sister, they don't say hello to her, either (which makes me very glad - at least I'm not the only unloved child!).
They weren't very good parents, to be honest - they didn't even send a letter to me in advance, and they were horribly late to the parents meeting.
But I know lots of people have stayed friends with their parents. I simply take it their parents were better - can't be blaming ME for losing touch, clearly.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
I'm not having children this year, but I'd want to meet them if I were to have them. However, I don't think most people are coming to college early enough to be honest - no one made any announcements that college parents should apply for vacation residence to come on Tuesday rather than Thursday of 0th week, so I think practically everyone missed the deadline. Not sure if that's final though - I think the college would want parents to come earlier.
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
The JCR assigns parents and organises the meeting with the parents. It also forces one person per subject to organise a subject lunch for everyone.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
My parents took me to a pub on the Tuesday of 0th week. Then we had an extended family dinner (in Pizza Hut, admittedly, but it was nice!): my parents and siblings and my parents' last year's child (so presumably my sister?) and her husband and her children. That was quite lovely!
My brother does the same subject as me, so I see him all the time and can't really consider him a 'brother' as a result. But my sister and I have kept in touch, and when she had children (in Trinity term - some new American visiting students came), we went to Hall together as a family. I've also kept in touch with my niece (my parent's last year's daughter's daughter), sort of; but I don't tend to see the rest of the family very often. (I do say hello to everyone in the family but my parents - strange world!)
Reply 8
Thank you all! Extremely helpful! I'm repping my way down the list, *sends undying love*
If you ever need anything from Merton, I'm your girl..!
Sinuhe - what happened in the subject lunch? Did the JCR refund expenses? Was it just one 2nd/3rd year + a bunch of Freshers? What sort of a lunch? When did it happen? Tell me everything!
Helen - that would be v. helpful, more responses = better!
If you ever need anything from Merton, I'm your girl..!
Sinuhe - what happened in the subject lunch? Did the JCR refund expenses? Was it just one 2nd/3rd year + a bunch of Freshers? What sort of a lunch? When did it happen? Tell me everything!
Helen - that would be v. helpful, more responses = better!
Megsy
Sinuhe - what happened in the subject lunch? Did the JCR refund expenses? Was it just one 2nd/3rd year + a bunch of Freshers? What sort of a lunch? When did it happen? Tell me everything!
Well, the subject lunches aren't really parent-children activities per se, but they do allow you to meet all the people doing your subject in college, which is very useful for later on. It's EVERYONE doing the subject that goes, not just the freshers. Well, everyone that can be persuaded to go - there weren't many 4th years around last year (just one, I think).
Basically a 2nd or 3rd year volunteers to organise this (or if not, the JCR simply assigns someone the role), but it really only means they put up a notice on the board to let everyone know when to meet and possibly bug everyone a bit to show up. Everyone pays for themselves though.
It was, I think, on Friday of 0th week for us, and was a pub lunch. Quite a bad idea really, because there were waaay too many people there; we had to wait an hour and a half to get our food! But it was still very nice to meet everyone, and because we had had a meeting with our tutors on the Thursday and had got lots of work already, it was nice to be able to moan and to complain to the older and wiser second and third years about it all. And of course it gave us a great opportunity to gossip about our tutors!
Overall I think this lunch was much more effective in easing us in to Oxford life than the whole parenting scheme. But that's probably just me, because my parents weren't exactly going to win any parenting awards ...
Nutter
If anyone has information on the scheme at St Peter's
I don't know about all the particulars, but at St Peter's you get only one parent, who does the same subject as you. You should, however, get a grandparent (your parent's parent) as well. So unfortunately you don't get extended families at St Peter's.
Apparently your parent is very useful because you can store things at their house during the holidays (they have to pay the rent anyway). As far as I can see from a friend who is at St Peter's, they have a much deeper family connection than we do though, so while you may only get one or two family members, they're loyal at least!
Reply 12
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
So, at New College, every fresher has two parents. One is an academic parent from the same subject, and the other is a JCR committee parent; each JCR committee member has about 9 children. There are no gender rules (I allocated all the children this year).
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
It's always by a JCR committee member. They act as the Freshers' committee as well. All the college families meet later during the first day.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
As Bekaboo said, I reckon it'd be impossible for every subject parent to meet their child on the first day. No, this is the job of the JCR committee.
- How often do you see your college parents?
I see one of mine all the time, because we're really good mates, but I NEVER seem to come across the other one.
- Would you call them friends?
Both are on facebook, but one is a really good friend, and the other much less.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
I probably will, because I'm part of the committee (vaguely), and I already know him really well. I doubt many other subject parents will.
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
Supper in JCR families on the first night in hall. Beyond that, there's no other official family events.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Usually a meal and drinks during the first week. I just met up with my subject parent for tea.
So, at New College, every fresher has two parents. One is an academic parent from the same subject, and the other is a JCR committee parent; each JCR committee member has about 9 children. There are no gender rules (I allocated all the children this year).
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
It's always by a JCR committee member. They act as the Freshers' committee as well. All the college families meet later during the first day.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
As Bekaboo said, I reckon it'd be impossible for every subject parent to meet their child on the first day. No, this is the job of the JCR committee.
- How often do you see your college parents?
I see one of mine all the time, because we're really good mates, but I NEVER seem to come across the other one.
- Would you call them friends?
Both are on facebook, but one is a really good friend, and the other much less.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
I probably will, because I'm part of the committee (vaguely), and I already know him really well. I doubt many other subject parents will.
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
Supper in JCR families on the first night in hall. Beyond that, there's no other official family events.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Usually a meal and drinks during the first week. I just met up with my subject parent for tea.
For Teddy Hall
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
Children get paired with someone who does our subject in the year above and parents are encouraged to marry, and to marry someone who does a very different subject, but it's not compulsory.
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
Freshers are usually met by members of the JCR committe, tho if they're busy and someone else is around then they do it. I met my college mum on the first day because she was doing my floor party but didn't meet my dad (who actually does my subject) for a couple of days. I did want to meet him but it wasn't a big deal.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
I didn't really mind- as long as whoever it is is friendly it doesn't really matter, especially since not all parents are very enthusiastic. I also think that having a connection with more than one older student can be useful- it gives you a choice if you want to talk to someone.
- How often do you see your college parents?
- Would you call them friends?
Not very often- usually in the library, but he always came over to speak to me and give me advice on my work- I wouldn't expect more than that. I guess my dad is a friend, but not a particularly close one. In my first year i didn;t see him around college loads as he lived out and this year he's abroad and next year i'm abroad, so we never saw loads of eachother. My mum is around more but I don;t know her very well- probably i wouldn't describe her as a friend.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
I met my child on his first day but that was because I was on the JCR committee and so I met lots of the freshers. It's not expected to meet your child on the first day.
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
Last year, Parents and children were introduced one evening and took their kids to the pub. There is a subject lunch one day. Parents have dinner with their children on the friday at the parents' houses and there's usually a houseparty somewhere afterwards.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Other than the above, nothing unless the parents and children choose it.
I strongly believe that although having a parent who does your subject is useful from an accademic point of view, it's pointless pairing people up at random on a social level as there's no guarantee they'll click- both my parents are great but I don't see them socially outside subject related stuff and the same goes for my son.
At Teddy Hall, there are opportunities to meet older students at the freshers week events, at floor parties, or through sports and clubs. Most freshers befriend older students during the year although not necessarily because that student is their parent.
- What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
Children get paired with someone who does our subject in the year above and parents are encouraged to marry, and to marry someone who does a very different subject, but it's not compulsory.
- Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
Freshers are usually met by members of the JCR committe, tho if they're busy and someone else is around then they do it. I met my college mum on the first day because she was doing my floor party but didn't meet my dad (who actually does my subject) for a couple of days. I did want to meet him but it wasn't a big deal.
- If you weren't met by your college parent, would you rather be met by them?
I didn't really mind- as long as whoever it is is friendly it doesn't really matter, especially since not all parents are very enthusiastic. I also think that having a connection with more than one older student can be useful- it gives you a choice if you want to talk to someone.
- How often do you see your college parents?
- Would you call them friends?
Not very often- usually in the library, but he always came over to speak to me and give me advice on my work- I wouldn't expect more than that. I guess my dad is a friend, but not a particularly close one. In my first year i didn;t see him around college loads as he lived out and this year he's abroad and next year i'm abroad, so we never saw loads of eachother. My mum is around more but I don;t know her very well- probably i wouldn't describe her as a friend.
- Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
I met my child on his first day but that was because I was on the JCR committee and so I met lots of the freshers. It's not expected to meet your child on the first day.
- What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
Last year, Parents and children were introduced one evening and took their kids to the pub. There is a subject lunch one day. Parents have dinner with their children on the friday at the parents' houses and there's usually a houseparty somewhere afterwards.
- What activities are self-organised within the family?
Other than the above, nothing unless the parents and children choose it.
I strongly believe that although having a parent who does your subject is useful from an accademic point of view, it's pointless pairing people up at random on a social level as there's no guarantee they'll click- both my parents are great but I don't see them socially outside subject related stuff and the same goes for my son.
At Teddy Hall, there are opportunities to meet older students at the freshers week events, at floor parties, or through sports and clubs. Most freshers befriend older students during the year although not necessarily because that student is their parent.
Reply 14
is it the case at all colleges that you marry someone in your first term, and you do parenting with them the next year?
Depends entirely on the college:
As Sinuhe pointed out @ St Peter's you only get one parent, so obviously there's no marriage
At Jesus we mostly paired up during freshers' week / shortly afterwards but I think it's the case in all colleges that nothing is set in stone til you sign up at the end of TT.
Some colleges I think it might be random...
As Sinuhe pointed out @ St Peter's you only get one parent, so obviously there's no marriage
At Jesus we mostly paired up during freshers' week / shortly afterwards but I think it's the case in all colleges that nothing is set in stone til you sign up at the end of TT.
Some colleges I think it might be random...
Reply 17
Megsy
because JCR Execs tend to have a different view of their glorious and perfect parenting scheme...
Execs, how power corrupts
.What's the college family structure at your college? How many parents does one get? From the same subject or different?
Two parents (can be same or different subject) for two or three children, each child will have at least one parent doing the same subject as them.
Were you met on the day of your arrival: by your college parent / Freshers' Committee member / JCR Exec member / JCR Committee member / random 2nd-3rd yr?
The JCR committee set up camp in the JCR (tables, chairs, forms and pens at the ready
), all freshers go through the sausage machine and parents can loiter around in the JCR waiting for their children. There is a board with mobile numbers of parents(those that wish to disclose them), so the children can call them if they wish, and also a tick list to see who has arrived.How often do you see your college parents?
A few times in the first week or two, there is also a parent/children dinner, like normal dinner in hall, but you sit in your families.
Would you call them friends?
It varies from family to family, I don't think we got to know each other well enough, I would call them friends, but we don't talk that often anymore.
Are you going to meet your kid on the day that they arrive and help them carry their stuff? Do most people in your college do this?
It depends when you catch them, I helped carry one or two bags, then left them to settle a while before we all meet up again.
What parenting activities and events are organised by your JCR?
Just the dinner.
What activities are self-organised within the family?
Not much actually, should have done more, it might have been nice to play some cards or boardgames.
I think it's good to have parents who study different subjects, hope this was useful.
Sinuhe
I don't know about all the particulars, but at St Peter's you get only one parent, who does the same subject as you. You should, however, get a grandparent (your parent's parent) as well. So unfortunately you don't get extended families at St Peter's.
Apparently your parent is very useful because you can store things at their house during the holidays (they have to pay the rent anyway). As far as I can see from a friend who is at St Peter's, they have a much deeper family connection than we do though, so while you may only get one or two family members, they're loyal at least!
Apparently your parent is very useful because you can store things at their house during the holidays (they have to pay the rent anyway). As far as I can see from a friend who is at St Peter's, they have a much deeper family connection than we do though, so while you may only get one or two family members, they're loyal at least!
Thanks very much for that. Your rep will come in due course, as promised.
Reply 19
At Hilda's you get a big sister who is the year above you doing the same course as you (although there may be a few exceptions, this year one of the E&ms got assigned an EE&M as a younger sister as there are no EE&Ms in our year). I got met by my big sister on my first day but only because she was JCR president. As part of freshers week we had a sister's night where we all spent time getting to know our college sisters although what we did (meal, club, house party) varied from person to person. Would i count my college sister as a friend? yes but not a really close one, we normally give each other a hug if see each other and she was really helpful when i was having trouble with my essays and helped me out with other things i got stuck on. You don't sign up for the college sister scheme at hilda's you just get a name in your pidge a couple of weeks before the end of hilary and then have to write a letter before the end of term which will go out in the freshers packs. so you have a long wait to find out if your little sister will be arriving or not.
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