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How do you know?

I am gay.

But the thing is I don't know how I could find out if another guy is gay or not. (Without asking of course, that'd be very embarassing)

I mean some people could be gay without anyone knowing. For example, I told my sexual orientation to a really close friend but she said she couldn't have guessed?!

So? This is a lonely process for me...

Reply 1

suga_fly_77

Gay bars?

You'll be able to tell after spending time with someone whether there's a mutual attraction. No need to swoop in the minute you meet them - spend time getting to know them first and look out for hints that they feel the same.

Reply 2

sarahb

yeh gay bars are always a safe place. to be honest, although your friend was unaware you were gay, there are a lot of guys who are obviously gay! and if you like a guy, get to know him, and just pop in that your gay and see his reaction!

Reply 3

bunthulhu

I'm not gay but I have some male friends who are and it's fairly obvious to me that they are gay because they act slightly camp; I think they partly do it to be silly because everyone knows and they're really funny and nice guys (they're a couple) :smile:

There was one guy in my college who was REALLY camp and just a bit scary really and all the other gay guys hated him! So I'm assuming a degree of subtlety (sp?) is preferred, but I'm sure that makes it harder to tell! I should think being able to tell will come with experience, I've heard some of my gay friends talk about 'gaydar' (I love that word :biggrin:

- seriously though!) where they can sometimes just tell even if it wouldn't be obvious to a straight person :smile:

What I'm trying to say in a very long winded and confused way, is that don't worry too much about it because I'm sure it will get easier, but right now I won't pretend to know much about it, I can't really give any advice :frown:

Good luck though!! :biggrin:

EDIT: Ooh yes the gay bar idea is a bit of a winner, d'oh at me for not thinking of that too!

Reply 4

hitmanuk2k

Anonymous

For example, I told my sexual orientation to a really close friend but she said she couldn't have guessed?!

Girls can never seem to tell when a guy is gay as well as other guys can.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

hitmanuk2k

Girls can never seem to tell when a guy is gay as well as other guys can.

Hmmmm.... not really... I (guy) can't tell if other guys are gay.

Gay bars? I haven't been in one before, but I would be scared...

Reply 6

SevenDeuceOff

I dunno, I guess it's like a sixth sense, like "gaydar" or something. Permit me to demonstrate:

Gay

Not gay

Reply 7

bunthulhu

Anonymous

Hmmmm.... not really... I (guy) can't tell if other guys are gay.

Gay bars? I haven't been in one before, but I would be scared...

Why would you be scared? Don't assume it'd be full of guys like the Little Britain character which was so helpfully posted above :p:

I'm sure plenty of the guys there would be just like you!

Reply 8

Eau

Big Man On Campus

I dunno, I guess it's like a sixth sense, like "gaydar" or something. Permit me to demonstrate:

Gay

Not gay

uh.... i hope you are just joking... I don't think all gay guys are like that. And plus, he's an actor?!

Reply 9

bunthulhu

wildfire

uh.... i hope you are just joking... I don't think all gay guys are like that. And plus, he's an actor?!

*Pat* Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he's joking :smile:

Reply 10

SevenDeuceOff

wildfire

uh.... i hope you are just joking... I don't think all gay guys are like that. And plus, he's an actor?!

A gay actor.

Reply 11

sarahb

Big Man On Campus

I dunno, I guess it's like a sixth sense, like "gaydar" or something. Permit me to demonstrate:

Gay

Not gay

LMAO! love it :biggrin:

Reply 12

Ron Stoppable

Anonymous

I don't know how I could find out if another guy is gay or not. (Without asking of course, that'd be very embarassing)

When meeting new people, I don't care whether the girl I'm interested in is straight/bi/gay, I just find out if they're fun and smart and sassy and all of the things I look for in a great friend. If I push on and make things happen, that tends to be irrespective of her sexual preference. Emotions drive actions, not words.

Don't bother yourself with whether someone is a match or not - just focus on making yourself so attractive that they can only have a little resistance against you progressing with them.