Jealous situation

Ok my situation is ive been speaking to a friend (a girl on the internet) for a year and about 4 months. Im a 20 year old guy, over that time ive come to like her more and more. We have already seen pictures, spoken briefly on webcam and chatted on the phone since then. We were planning to meet up anyway as it turned out, she was developing these same type of feelings. And she told me "being good friends is the basis of a relationship" which was a nice thing to say.

But last winter or so, she wasent talking for some reaosn. Then a month later, she tells me that she has a boyfriend. That completely went against what she told me, i had known her for 8 months, she met this guy on a blind date and got together on a second date, basically knowing him less than a month. They have broken up 3 times since then, and yes it has hurt me a bit. I asked her if she is going to give me a chance and she said yes, but kept going back to him. Well we did try and meet up before twice but never happened (first time she had an accident few days before day and was in hospital, second time my sister was in the hospital so it wasnet right to go)

Now the thing is she has broken up permantely with him last saturday and is single. her birthday is this wednesday so i asked her what she was doing, and she said she is going on a date with a guy she has been speaking to from a dating website for 7 months. Made me a bit jealous so i asked her for a date sometime and she said yes.

Im just a bit worried he is going to get with her and get the first chance before i do, just like before.

She said she wants to give both of us a chance, and i told her to have a great birthday and date, but dont fall for him too quickly. and she said "ill try not to". Some reassurance of giving me a chance isnt it? I think not!

Another thing, she had an accident at work and shes got a bandage on her head to cover the gaze, now when she is going on a date on wednesday, she wont take it off. But i said isnt it the first time you are meeting him, and she said "Yes, but he is used to it". Wait, what the hell does that mean, used to it?

I asked her if she wanted to meet up soon and she said "yes, but i want to make myself look really nice for you, so can i wait till the bandage comes off?"

I really dont know what to do, she is such a good friend and i know she wouldnt do anything intentional to hurt me.

What should i say to her? Shall i confront her about this?

Also for the first date, where do you think would be an ideal place to go (cinema is a no-no)

Reply 20

benisright

1

Anonymous

Ok my situation is ive been speaking to a friend (a girl on the internet) for a year and about 4 months. Im a 20 year old guy, over that time ive come to like her more and more. We have already seen pictures, spoken briefly on webcam and chatted on the phone since then. We were planning to meet up anyway as it turned out, she was developing these same type of feelings.

Theres your problem right there.

Give up.

Reply 21

unfinished sympathy

15

Anonymous

Yes i asked her for a date, and she said yes. She got with her ex, simple reason because she met him and hasent met me.

then maybe there is a chance for you and her! just wait and see

Reply 22

generalebriety

16

She's clearly trying not to hurt your feelings. How would you feel if you suddenly thought someone who's been a good friend to you for 16 months had actually been in love with you all this time and you hadn't realised and weren't interested? That doesn't have to be the case for her to think that.

Reply 23

Anonymous #1

OP

We were both interested, as i put in the first post. And we were going to meet up, but things happened (on both sides) so we couldnt meet up. Then her friend got her to go on a blind date (she didnt know this) so what the hell i could do about that?

benisright

Theres your problem right there.

Give up.

The other date person is also been speaking to her online. So you going to tell him to give up as well?

Reply 24

bunthulhu

14

It sounds like, while you are only interested in her, she has quite a few guys on the go? :frown:

Reply 25

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

We were both interested, as i put in the first post. And we were going to meet up, but things happened (on both sides) so we couldnt meet up. Then her friend got her to go on a blind date (she didnt know this) so what the hell i could do about that?

The other date person is also been speaking to her online. So you going to tell him to give up as well?

Why the hell do people like you post then not take our advice? You ignored my post. She may simply be trying to protect your feelings. Just because she said yes to both of you asking her out on a date (and I'm sure even that part isn't as simple as you make out), doesn't mean she feels the same about both of you.

Reply 26

Anonymous #1

OP

bunthulhu

It sounds like, while you are only interested in her, she has quite a few guys on the go? :frown:

Well im going to ask her what she meant by that bandage comment. It doesnt seem right.

I really hope she does have a good time for her birthday, but i wouldnt like her to fall for this guy so soon after breaking up from her last relationship and yet again, its always another guy meeting her before me :frown:

Reply 27

bunthulhu

14

Anonymous

Well im going to ask her what she meant by that bandage comment. It doesnt seem right.

I really hope she does have a good time for her birthday, but i wouldnt like her to fall for this guy so soon after breaking up from her last relationship and yet again, its always another guy meeting her before me :frown:

To be honest I don't know how relevant the bandage thing is, at the end of the day she is not as interested in you as you are in her and that is the problem, like you say you are not her first choice, or even her second, currently you are her third choice and who knows what other guys will appear that she has apparently been speaking to for 7 months :frown:

Plus she doesn't seem all that trustworthy anyway and she doesn't keep to her word!

Reply 28

Anonymous #1

OP

Well im going to wait till thursday and ask how tomorrow goes and her date with the person she has been chatting, and whether she still wants to go on a date. She said yes, i dont have any reason to believe she wants to protect the feelings.

Reply 29

username47781

20

I hate to say this but i think shes stringing you along until she gets someone else, she is not interested i am afraid

Reply 30

Sam Beckett

7

You need to go out in the real world and go on dates like your 'girlfriend'!

Reply 31

Anonymous #1

OP

I dont know what you are talking about. I never said she was my girlfriend

Reply 32

hjfghjv

...

Reply 33

lil_missez

Maybe she said all that because she doesnt want to hurt ur feelings, maybe shes just sayin she has a man to get u off her ass. or maybe shes just too nervous to see you. but shes bein immature about it. stop wastin ur time if she really wanted you...she wud make some effort in seeing you... so wait and maybe she will come to her senses. if i was her i wud tell u...stop buggin me, ill see u when i see you.

Reply 34

Sam Beckett

7

You didn't say she was your girlfriend, you just want her to be.

She's out meeting quite a few lads (sounds like she works fast)

Doesn't sound like you're meeting any girls. Go out and forget about her. Find someone who lives closer and who you can actually touch etc

Jealous situation

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