I don't know what to do

Really mixed up now. Just need to get a lot off my chest so please read & give me your opinions!

Basically I've just had mum shouting & screaming at me telling me what a rubbish person I am & that I should move out because she doesn't want me here. This isn't the first time she has said it to me, she's always saying it. Reminding me how horrible I am & that I'm chucking my life away just because I have a boyfriend. When she shouts, she goes mental. She has problems with depression & I always seem to be the target. She's threatened to hit me a lot of times (although she has never done it). I have no one else to turn to except for my boyfriend who just thinks im over-reacting over the whole situation. I can't move out till September when I go back to Uni & I have Uni deadlines coming out of my ears for 29th August.

She's said some pretty personal stuff & makes me feel like ****. I can't concentrate on my work & I can't escape from this house. I just feel trapped.

Reply 1

generalebriety

16

Well... what does she think is the reason for all this? If you go round nicking her stuff, spending her money, eating her food and then drinking and getting stoned with your boyfriend instead of helping out around the house, then I can understand. On the other hand if you do uni work then tidy up then cook for her and share the work and stuff, but you just have a boyfriend too, then she's overreacting. Maybe she's lonely since you went to uni? Who knows. The depression can't help though - she's never hit you although she threatens to, so that probably shows something. Well done for getting through it for this long though - depression sufferers aren't easy to be with. (Trust me on that - I've been depressed for a while and have a couple of depressed friends too, one worse off than me. :smile:

) Good luck. :smile:

Reply 2

Dramatic Star

OP

2

Thanks & no I'm not like that at all. I have the odd lay in & get screamed at for that but I help out around the house (do most of the housework). I can't do anything right & I'm fed up of hearing her tell people I'm worthless & rubbish.

Reply 3

generalebriety

16

Dramatic Star

Thanks & no I'm not like that at all. I have the odd lay in & get screamed at for that but I help out around the house (do most of the housework). I can't do anything right & I'm fed up of hearing her tell people I'm worthless & rubbish.

Well, to be honest, she might just be plain wrong. If it's disturbing your work and so on, go out to the library, but really there's very little you can do... I mean, you could try the revenge tactic, which is tell her you'll stop doing the housework and so on unless she stops shouting at you, but there's a chance she'll take that badly and ask you to pay rent or leave. On the other hand you could shout back. Or you could just ignore her or leave the house when she starts doing it. If you have a fairly good relationship with her other than this, you might just want to tell her it's upsetting you and she should leave you alone.

Reply 4

Dramatic Star

OP

2

Well I'm now stopping round my bf's tonight because we had another row y'day involving money. She found out I have spent a lot of my student overdraft and went crazy telling me she didnt want me to come home when I next went out. I text her last night to tell her I will be coming home tomorrow (today) incase she worry's where I've gone (although that is highly unlikely :frown:

) & stayed here for the night.

It really is effecting my work to the extent that I am too upset to concentrate. It seems that whenever I have something of educational importance to do, she starts rowing. This happened with my GCSE's, AS Levels & A Levels.

I'm just fed up of being the one she takes it all out on. I wake up in the morning and don't know what mood she is going to be in.... It's just not fair!

I don't think she would even bother if I stopped doing the housework. She is far from houseproud and the only reason I tidy up is because I can't stand to live in a messy house.

Reply 5

username47781

20

i think your mom really needs some help she sounds like a right nutter

Reply 6

Ron Stoppable

14

Dramatic Star

Really mixed up now. Just need to get a lot off my chest so please read & give me your opinions!

Basically I've just had mum shouting & screaming at me telling me what a rubbish person I am & that I should move out because she doesn't want me here. This isn't the first time she has said it to me, she's always saying it. Reminding me how horrible I am & that I'm chucking my life away just because I have a boyfriend. When she shouts, she goes mental. She has problems with depression & I always seem to be the target. She's threatened to hit me a lot of times (although she has never done it). I have no one else to turn to except for my boyfriend who just thinks im over-reacting over the whole situation. I can't move out till September when I go back to Uni & I have Uni deadlines coming out of my ears for 29th August.

She's said some pretty personal stuff & makes me feel like ****. I can't concentrate on my work & I can't escape from this house. I just feel trapped.

You need to work out some subtle pattern-interrupts to bring her out of the states she digs herself into. Most NLP websites will have examples of these.

Reply 7

generalebriety

16

Dramatic Star

Well I'm now stopping round my bf's tonight because we had another row y'day involving money. She found out I have spent a lot of my student overdraft and went crazy telling me she didnt want me to come home when I next went out. I text her last night to tell her I will be coming home tomorrow (today) incase she worry's where I've gone (although that is highly unlikely :frown:

) & stayed here for the night.

It really is effecting my work to the extent that I am too upset to concentrate. It seems that whenever I have something of educational importance to do, she starts rowing. This happened with my GCSE's, AS Levels & A Levels.

I'm just fed up of being the one she takes it all out on. I wake up in the morning and don't know what mood she is going to be in.... It's just not fair!

I don't think she would even bother if I stopped doing the housework. She is far from houseproud and the only reason I tidy up is because I can't stand to live in a messy house.

Take my advice - go to a library or somewhere quiet. A friend's house. Anything. You need to get your work done. :rolleyes:

I'm sure any decent friend would let you sit there and work in their house if they knew about your problem. Or just go round to talk to them - always helps to share problems.

Unfortunately, there's no practical advice I can give. :frown:

Reply 8

Dramatic Star

OP

2

Thanks

I'm not really in touch with many friends as we all seem to have drifted apart since we all went to Uni. Maybe the library is a good idea. :smile:

Or I shall buy some industrial strenth ear plugs..... :rolleyes:

Reply 9

1013

1

I never feel quite right saying bad things about someone's mum but yours sounds like a not very nice person; completely unreasonable and totally out of order. Unfortunately, you can't choose your relatives so it looks like you'll just have to put up with her nonsense until you can move out. In the meantime, you do need to find somewhere you can concentrate on your study, coz that is the most important thing for your future right now.

Reply 10

Ron Stoppable

14

Dramatic Star

Thanks

I'm not really in touch with many friends as we all seem to have drifted apart since we all went to Uni. Maybe the library is a good idea. :smile:

Or I shall buy some industrial strenth ear plugs..... :rolleyes:

Alternatively, grab something hard and 6" long, point it at her, yell "EXPECTO PATRONUS" and watch your patronus reduce her aggro to that of a dementor stuck in Dick & Dom's Bungalow. :biggrin:

Reply 11

blackcurrant

Can you stay at your boyfriends house or at a relatives? Maybe there's a room to rent in your area? There are only 6 weeks left of summer anyway (for me at least; I don't know when your uni restarts)
Maybe your mum is suffering from some sort of depression although I'm not sure how you'd suggest she gets help without her flipping out :frown:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

Reply 12

Dramatic Star

OP

2

Thanks for all the advice :smile:

Just thought I'd update and let you know I have moved out for a few days round my bf's to get some work done. She hasn't tried to contact me at all (which is a totally good thing) except for the day I left (Sat) when she told my brother to get the camera charger so I shouted back to him where it was then she came storming up shouting "THAT Camera!!!!!!" & slammed it on my bed! :rolleyes:

So I shouted my brother & exclaimed that THAT was the charger. :p:

I then packed a suitcase & walked out. She saw me but didn't try to stop me..... I'm hoping she is suffering right now.

Reply 13

wendizzle22

1

To be fair to your mum it sounds like she is already suffering - from depression and jealousy. I suppose if she refuses to get help for it then you are doing the right thing in getting away.

I don't know what to do

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