The Student Room Group

what is the matter with me

agh im driving myself and my family crazy. i keep having such extreme mood swings. il be in a happy enough mood and then all of a sudden il just switch and become either so angry or extremely sad. i get so angry i go crazy at my parents, screaming abuse at them (my mother has a tendecy of taking things so calmly and ignoring me which tends to let me carry on and just yell abuse at her). I feel so guilty and bad after but when i get these moods i just cant seem to stop myself. i thought id grow out of it but im 17 now and still havent. my abuse just gets worse. i scream about hating them and wanting them to die, which makes me feel even worse later as i love them loads. I dont understand whats making me like this. i used to cut myself often but managed to stop that until recently when i got into a massive mood again for no reason and after uncontrolably yelling abuse at my parents i went upstairs and cut myself again.
i dont know what to do.

ps just read that through..sound like an emo lol but for the record im not but just feeling a bit messed up right now :frown:
Sounds terrible... :frown: have you read up on bipolar disorder? Read the wikipedia page on it and get back to us... sounds like you might suffer from that.
Reply 2
Does sound like bipolar to me though only a doctor can confirm,
doesn't sound emo at all, many people feel like that and it is hard, congrats on stopping and remeber a relapse is (sadly) part of recovery and we all have our moments, but soon enough you'll be self harm free, you might not see the end of the tunnel but it is there
Reply 3
to be honest the self harm bit doesnt bother me as much as how much i must be stressing and hurting my family. i only cut my arms with scissors which have left a few scars but nothing serious. what im putting my family through must be hurtful. maybe im wrong though. they dont show hurt, they dont really mention it. however having having your daughter constantly scream she hates you and wishes you dead cannot be nice. i dont understand why they dont try and stop me. i dont understand why i cant stop myself.
Did you look up bipolar disorder...?
Reply 5
yeah i did. what im like does sound like that. i cant just go to the doctor and be like i think i have bipolar disorder though. i dont know why but i just cant do it. theyl think i just looked it up on the internet but am actualy an attention seeking brat who needs to grow up. i dont want to be like this though. sometimes i feel myself that i sound like such an attention seeker but i just cant help what im saying or acting when im in one of these moods. i dont know what to do though, what would you do?
Reply 6
generalebriety
Sounds terrible... :frown: have you read up on bipolar disorder? Read the wikipedia page on it and get back to us... sounds like you might suffer from that.


Took the words right out of my mouth.
Anonymous
yeah i did. what im like does sound like that. i cant just go to the doctor and be like i think i have bipolar disorder though. i dont know why but i just cant do it. theyl think i just looked it up on the internet but am actualy an attention seeking brat who needs to grow up. i dont want to be like this though. sometimes i feel myself that i sound like such an attention seeker but i just cant help what im saying or acting when im in one of these moods. i dont know what to do though, what would you do?

I would go to the doctor. I had clinical depression (which is, obviously, related to bipolar disorder) and went to the doctor about it. Sadly, my doctor is an annoying bint and didn't really listen, but it at least cleared it up for me and she said I was depressed - and she offered me counselling on the NHS (so free), which according to some people really works, but which I didn't end up attending because things cleared up slightly. I'm still not 'well', but I'm 'better'. Counselling probably would've helped too.

I say go for it - patient confidentiality and all that, you won't suddenly be getting house visits and manic depression leaflets posted through your door. Don't necessarily say "I think I have bipolar disorder blah", say something like "I've been having _______ problems for a while involving ____________, by the way I don't know if this helps or not but someone told me I might have bipolar disorder or something, I looked it up and it seems pretty similar, but I dunno, just in case that helps...". You don't have to diagnose yourself. Just nudge them in the right direction. If you're (I'm) barking up the wrong tree, the doctor will tell you. They may even refer you to a counsellor or give you a bipolar test of some sort.

Do it - for your family's sake. :smile:
Reply 8
whoa this is weird, i was watchin Dr.Phil today, and this lady she has some sort of sickness where she has mood swings and abuses her sons physically and mentally, she says she can be happy 1 moment \ out of the blue she'll b pissed off for nothin ....she said she relaized somethin was wrong when she was 17....and hes like 40 now. she said she has a mental sickness i forgot wat it was called. that story reminds me alot like ur situation....go to the docs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like ri now
stop cutting yourself is a main thing, if you have a genuine problem with it any doctor worth his salt will not think your an attention seeking emo and try and help, if it is bipolar then he can give you some form of help
You could always describe your problems to the doc and then say 'a friend suggested I visited you because he/she reckoned it sounded like bipolar disorder?' or something, good luck :smile:
I think a diagnosis of bipolar disorder is a bit strong. This could be depression though, you need to see a doctor and get a referral.