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Guys, would you be turned off if your gf confesses she has insecurities...

So I am a confident person and I do 'act confident'. It's just that sometimes I feel kind of insecure about my body. I mean I think I am fit qnd do get told I'm fit but the thing is my boyfriend is umm fitter than me. He is like lean and hot. I'm not model thin and I have more of an hour glass shape. I guess my bf is more traditionally handsome ans I'm not. I wouldn't say that he is so much fitter then me though.

Now getting to the point: last night my bf wanted to have sex with me on top. I didn't want to because I asssume I wouldn't look hot from that angle. After much prodding from him I admitted that the reason I didn't want to be on top is that he might not find me attractive from that angle and then perhaps realise that he could get with someone hotter. He laughed this off and told me he loves me and thinks I'm hot etc... but I'm just worried that he will think differently of me now. He just said those things because, well it's what I would want to hear.

So people would you think any differently of your gf is she said this? Would you be turned off?

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Reply 1
There is no harm in having insecurities. In fact everyone has them. If however you contantly let your insecurities get in the way of your relationship then it could be a turn off. But once in a well admitting you have an insecurity is only being honest and human. It is normal
Reply 2
If you're having sex with each other, and have any plans to continue a relationship, you wouldn't care.

I've been having sex with the same girl for 4 years and we've heard and seen all sorts of things on each others bodies. If you love them, and they love you, neither of you will care whether the other looks 'fit' or not. Sounds like your bf knows this already, and I doubt he thinks any less of you because of it. Don't feel bad because you still feel insecure about yourself, a very large number of people do. Talk to your bf about it, discuss it with him, and trust in what he says. You'll stop worrying about things like that and enjoy yourself more if you're not constantly thinking about what you look like. You're sticking parts of your bodies inside each other for goodness sake. There's not much more you can do after that :P
Reply 3
Original post by biggles1
If you're having sex with each other, and have any plans to continue a relationship, you wouldn't care.

I've been having sex with the same girl for 4 years and we've heard and seen all sorts of things on each others bodies. If you love them, and they love you, neither of you will care whether the other looks 'fit' or not. Sounds like your bf knows this already, and I doubt he thinks any less of you because of it. Don't feel bad because you still feel insecure about yourself, a very large number of people do. Talk to your bf about it, discuss it with him, and trust in what he says. You'll stop worrying about things like that and enjoy yourself more if you're not constantly thinking about what you look like. You're sticking parts of your bodies inside each other for goodness sake. There's not much more you can do after that :P

I guess I just have doubts cos before we got together, I know a lot of girls found him.attractive and liked him. So I guess it kind of makes me feel like it would be easy to replace me.

I do understand what you are saying and most of the time I don't feel insecure. I mean I love my boyfriend and it doesn't really depend on how fit he is. I love him because he is a wonderful guy. I guess I should speak to him. I was actually going to pretend like nothing happene but would it be better to speak to him about this?
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
I guess I just have doubts cos before we got together, I know a lot of girls found him.attractive and liked him. So I guess it kind of makes me feel like it would be easy to replace me.

I do understand what you are saying and most of the time I don't feel insecure. I mean I love my boyfriend and it doesn't really depend on how fit he is. I love him because he is a wonderful guy. I guess I should speak to him. I was actually going to pretend like nothing happene but would it be better to speak to him about this?


Just remember, if he had all those other girls to choose from, he must have seen something special to pick you :smile:


It depends on how you feel. If you feel you can pick yourself up and move on from it, then there's no need to necessarily mention it again. If you feel like you're struggling to move on from this notion, then it would probably be a good idea to talk it through with him.
Reply 5
Bump
If you are in a serious relationship then I don't think he would think any differently of you. He might even feel closer to you since you trusted him enough to be honest with him. From his reaction, it seems to me that he doesn't really care and maybe he finds your 'non-traditional' beauty more appealing. :smile:

Perhaps you should speak to him about this, if your insecurities might get in the way of your relationship.
(edited 9 years ago)
You are assuming you are not hot, then acting like youre not hot. Which bit of that sounds attractive? Chill out, get naked and enjoy yourself cause in 20 years you'd chop your right arm off for the body you have now, and the hot lean guy who wants to sex you.
Reply 8
It wouldn't put me off her, I'd just want to help her get over it and feel confident with her body.
Reply 9
Original post by Double Agent
You are assuming you are not hot, then acting like youre not hot. Which bit of that sounds attractive? Chill out, get naked and enjoy yourself cause in 20 years you'd chop your right arm off for the body you have now, and the hot lean guy who wants to sex you.


I don't act like that all the time and most of the time (about 99%) I'm perfectly happy with my body which is why I worry that my confession would be unexpected and off putting.

In 20 years huh. Are you speaking from experience?:tongue:
Bump. More opinions please...
I would be troubled if someone told me they didn't have insecurities.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't act like that all the time and most of the time (about 99%) I'm perfectly happy with my body which is why I worry that my confession would be unexpected and off putting.

In 20 years huh. Are you speaking from experience?:tongue:


Ha no. But I have learnt in my 23 years on earth that acceptance is a huge part of happiness and fulfillment.
Reply 13
No that wouldn't turn me off.

What does turn me off though is girls who are insecure about their bodies & moan about it all the time & do nothing about it. Don't be one of those people - join a gym & work on your self confidence if you're insecure. You have an issue with yourself. Fix it.
Original post by Steezy
No that wouldn't turn me off.

What does turn me off though is girls who are insecure about their bodies & moan about it all the time & do nothing about it. Don't be one of those people - join a gym & work on your self confidence if you're insecure. You have an issue with yourself. Fix it.


I'm not usually like that. This is the first time I've ever mentioned this or acted insecure which is why I'm worried that he would find it weird and off putting cos I'm not usually like that. I actually like my body, the way it is. It's just, because he is fitter than me, sometimes I feel a little self conscious.
Bump. Help please :smile:
Original post by Double Agent
Ha no. But I have learnt in my 23 years on earth that acceptance is a huge part of happiness and fulfillment.


Fair enough. Acceptance is not that easy though. It's easy to accept but after a while the insecurity creeps up. My insecurities are not crippling though so that's good
Reply 17
No I would not. I have my friends and previous girlfriends tell me their insecurities and it has never changed my perspective on them.
We are all human, so it is natural for us to feel insecure. Sharing your insecurities with your other half will actually make you feel better.
Reply 18
No you need to always be a hot alpha female who can wrap Chris Hemsworth around your finger and yawns at the 100 hot men pining after you deleting friend request after friend request of losers because you are just God's gift to humanity and you know how to make little men bow to your every whim

NO IT IS NOT A TURNOFF we are human not robots and that's the second time I've had to be a sarky git in 2 days over silly questions

I would say it"s perceived as a turnoff when a man reveals an insecurity, however. Social logic lol
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Riku
No you need to always be a hot alpha female who can wrap Chris Hemsworth around your finger and yawns at the 100 hot men pining after you deleting friend request after friend request of losers because you are just God's gift to humanity and you know how to make little men bow to your every whim

NO IT IS NOT A TURNOFF we are human not robots and that's the second time I've had to be a sarky git in 2 days over silly questions

I would say it"s perceived as a turnoff when a man reveals an insecurity, however. Social logic lol

No need to be rude. It's doesn't seem like a silly thing to me when I do feel down.:tongue:

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