Best Friends? Starting to drift apart?

I have been best friends with someone for nearly 3 years now and we tell eachother everything, we go out together all the time and generally we do have fun, unless i start talking to someone else and then her mood suddenly changes! and starts to get a moody and being really bitchy by cutting in while in in a conversation and slags of the person i am talking to or walking out and leaving me on my own. I have lost contact with all my old friends because she didn't like them and so pushed them away. She also doesn't seem happy when i am i a realationship and tends to spread rumors and before i know it the realtionship is over because of her!

I really don't know what to do anymore she is my friend yes and i do care about her but, is being friends with her going to make me unhappy in the long run?

Any past experience or advice on how i should handle this would be much appreciated as i am really at a loose end

Thanks

Reply 1

Dragon24

17

Get rid. You shouldn't have to lose friends or boyfriends over this psycho who is not a true friend. A friend wouldn't do this, she obviously has jealousy issues.

Reply 2

sarahb

From the sounds of it, she isnt a very good friend to you, and she apears to have a very large jealousy issure here. a friend should always want her friends to be happy, and want the best for them and this doesnt appear to be the case here. However, as a friend to her, you need to try help her - maybe try talking to her about it, tell her how you feel, point out to her what shes doing, etc. If she is a true friend she will listen to you, realise what she is doing, not meaning to hurt you, and beg for your forgiveness and try to change. however, this may not be the case, in which i sugest you distance yourself from her, hang around with other friends more, if she cant accept this, its not your problem-thats hers. she shouldnt stop you from having other friends. and i do think that if i carries on the way it is, that it will make you unhappy in the future-if anything happens to her, ie.she moves away, falls out with you, you may be left alone. and it is obvious that you are not happy in this friendship, and if nothing changes, the way you feel is unlikely to change. but i would def say the first thing to do would be talk to her before just distancing yourself.
hope that helps in some way!!! :smile:

Reply 3

devilgirl999

1

i think you should confront her tell her to grow up or she will lose you

Reply 4

LatinMachine

1

is being friends with her going to make me unhappy in the long run?

Yes, of course! That sounds like obsessive behaviour to me. I'll assume you're at school for the purposes of this advice, but the way I began to "branch out" from just having one friend at school was to sit with someone else at lunch. My friend was surprised, but I'm pretty sure she got over it. :wink:

It sounds like this girl is a teency bit psycho, so maybe talking to her (and maybe getting the school counsellor there too) would be better than just going off, she sounds like she might just follow you!

Reply 5

OllieA

Almost sounds like she's in love with you.

Reply 6

username47781

20

She probably does fancy you, but she has no right to destroy your relationships, tell her where to go if she don't like it.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

OllieA

Almost sounds like she's in love with you.

Its funny you should say that! thats what one of my work colleagues said. I just find it hard to confront her because she has a short temper and can be quite agressive! its not that i am scared of her! but its just hard to tell her anything she doesn't want to hear without her flying of the handle! and i can do without the personal attacks and pathetic taunts.

Reply 8

sarahb

Anonymous

Its funny you should say that! thats what one of my work colleagues said. I just find it hard to confront her because she has a short temper and can be quite agressive! its not that i am scared of her! but its just hard to tell her anything she doesn't want to hear without her flying of the handle! and i can do without the personal attacks and pathetic taunts.

if shes guna react like that, then i would say (feel free to object) that you dont even have a real friendship with her. your not getting anything out of the relationship and you seem to be putting up with a hell of a lot! get rid of her-no1 needs a friend who is agresive, immature and not understanding! you can do better, you deserve it!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks guys this has helped!

Reply 10

nettle7

Calling her a 'psycho' and ordering Anon to get rid really isn't nice. She obviously has problems, but if she doesn't have some redeemable qualities Anon would not be her friend in the first place, and certainly not best friends. Disgarding your best friend really isn't that easy. You should try and sort through the problems, and give her some sort of ultimatum. See if you can find out what is wrong for a start... people generally do not tend to swing around and behave in such a way unless there are deeper issues. We shouldn't automatically write her off as a bad person.

Reply 11

amywalters

1

I think she fancies you perhaps - but shes obviously got so used to your constant company that she wants more and more and more, pushing your friends away for her, obviously made her feel good, so each time she wants attention she wants you to do bigger and better things for her.

Ideally, you should tell her that you need a life outside of these walls. You care about her lots, but you need to be around other people so you dont get bored and your heads dont explode - which is important. Space and time will make you appreciate one another.

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Dump her. You could do so much better!

Best Friends? Starting to drift apart?

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