What we mean by "Rape Culture" Watch

vickidc18
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I don't think half of the people on TSR actually understand what we mean by "Rape Culture" it does not mean we actively promote rape or encourage it. Rape culture is also closely related to slut-shaming and victim blaming, where rape victims are considered at fault for being raped, and it is argued that this connection is due to the presence of a culture that shames all female sexuality.That some rapes are not reported to the police due to fear that they would not be believed is often cited as a symptom of a rape culture,
In Rape we tend to put the victim on trial scrutinizing every little thing they were doing, wearing, past sexual behaviours, we would never put a victim of robbery on trial and quiz them that they had been robbed once before.

Here are some common rape myths:

Myth Do not go out alone at any time. Women are most likely to be raped outside, in dark alleyways late at night. This is the best way for a woman to protect herself.

Fact The suggestion of avoiding walking alone, especially at night is a common suggestion to avoiding sexual assault. However, only 9% of rapes are committed by 'strangers'. Women are raped in their homes and in their work places where they are less likely to be believed and even less likely to report. This myth can control movements and restricts freedom. This can feel like women are living under a 'curfew' and that it is a woman's responsibility to be either in or out at certain times. Around 90% of rapes are committed by known men.


Myth Women who are sexually assaulted 'ask for it' by the way they dress or act, rape only happens to young women.

Fact Many women are led to believe that if they are not part of a certain category of women then they are 'safe' from being raped. Women and girls of all ages, classes, culture, ability, sexuality, race and faith are raped. Attractiveness has little significance. Reports show that there is a great diversity in the way targeted women act or dress. Rapists choose women based on their vulnerability not their physical appearance.

Sometimes women see themselves as 'unworthy' or 'undesirable' because of their age or physical appearance and therefore 'safe' from rape. Some men joke or make comments about women's appearances or age to indicate whether she is sexually desirable or available, or as part of their defence in court, saying he thought 'he was doing her a favour', using her appearance or age. Women are raped from the age of three to ninety three. Rape is an act of violence not sex.



Myth The women was drunk / took drugs / had a bad reputation / was hitch hiking / wore tight clothes / seduced him / probably got what she was asking for.

Fact If a person is unconscious or their judgement is impaired by alcohol or drugs, legally they are unable to give consent. Having non-consensual sex with a person who is intoxicated is sexual assault.

Rapists use a variety of excuses to attempt to discredit the women they rape and to justify their crime. No woman asks or deserves to be rape or sexually assaulted. Often a rape case is defined more by the woman's character than by what has happened to her. Newspapers and mass media often refer to women in the roles that they have within society - 'young mother', 'grandmother', 'doctor's wife' etc. If the woman's role or social position is not seen as socially acceptable, she is often held responsible not the rapist. For example, the original 'Jack the Ripper' and Sutcliffe in the late 70's and 80's were glorified by the press. (Jack the ripper has his books, museum, cocktails, computer games and even tourist walks in London named after him where you can visit the places women were murdered!)

The rules imposed on women's behaviour allow rapists to shift the responsibility for rape onto women wherever possible, so that most of the perpetrators who rape are seen as victims of malicious allegations, carelessness or stupidity. There is no other crime in which so much effort is expended to make the victim appear responsible - imagine the character or financial background of a robbery victim being questioned in court.



Myth Women eventually relax and enjoy it. They secretly want to be raped

Fact There is a widely held belief that women enjoy rape or that it is 'just sex at the wrong time, in the wrong place'. Rape is a crime of sexual violence and humiliation which can involve being beaten, physical restraint, the use of knifes and sticks, urination and defecating. Studies have consistently shown that most rapes involve physical force to some degree. Often when a woman is raped she is afraid that she will be killed - rapists often use the threat of killing a woman or her children to ensure her 'submission' and her silence after the attack. Women do not enjoy sexual violence. Victims of murder, robbery and other crimes are never portrayed as enjoying the experience.


Myth The woman did not get hurt or fight back. It could not have been rape.

Fact Men who rape or sexually assault women and girls will often use weapons or threats of violence to intimidate women. The fact that there is no visible evidence of violence does not mean that a woman has not been raped.

Another myth that goes hand in hand with this is that ' rape is a fate worse than death' and this links with the belief that women should fight and resist throughout. Faced with the reality of rape, women make second by second decisions, all of which are directed at minimising the harm done to them. At the point where initial resistance, struggling, reasoning etc have failed, the fear of further violence often limits women's resistance. The only form of control that seems available to women at this point is limiting the harm done to them.


Myth Women often make up stories or lie about being raped.

Fact For anyone who has been raped or sexually assaulted, whether or not to report to the police can be a difficult decision. At present, it's estimated that only 15% of the 85,000 women who are raped and over 400,000 who are sexually assaulted in England and Wales every year report. One significant reason many women and girls tell us they don't go to the police is because of their fear of not being believed. Unfortunately, a disproportionate media focus on the very small number of cases each year that involve a so-called false allegation of sexual violence perpetuates the public perception that malicious false reporting is common. In fact, it is this perception that is entirely false. For many years, studies have suggested that false reporting rates for rape are no different from false reporting rates for any other crime, that is, around 4%. In March 2013, the Crown Prosecution Service published a survey confirming that false rape reports are 'very rare' and suggesting they could make up less than 1% of all reports. Read more here.


Myth Women cannot rape other women

Fact Only a man can commit the offence of Rape [Sec 1 (1) SOA 2003] as the penetration has to be with a penis. However, both women and men may experience rape. If the penetration is with something other than a penis, then the offence is assault by penetration. See Rape and the Law section.

The majority of sexual assaults are committed by men against women, but anyone can be sexually assaulted and emotional, physical and sexual abuse does happen in same sex relationships. Often when women are assaulted by other women they fear they will not be believed. It is important to realise that women who are assaulted by other women are able to access support and are believed.

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/commonmyths2.php

I have been a victim of sexual assault twice in my life, the first time I was 13 and I reported it to the authorities family members, and acquaintances tried to somehow put the blame on me "It must have been what I was wearing" "You were too friendly" "You have ruined that nice young mans life" My attacker was 27 years old so definitely knew what he was doing and he knew that attacking a 13 year old was very wrong. Yet somehow I was still made to feel blamed for this persons actions. The second time I was assaulted I was 16 by a different man, this time I didn't report it because god people would think I must be asking for it if I was sexually assaulted twice? Let me be clear I wasn't drunk, dressed in a provocative way and this happened in the middle of the day by somebody I knew, I knew the victim blaming & stigmatization would be much worse a second time round and the court system would bring up my previous sexual assault. It makes me sick that people don't report attacks because we know we will put on trial and made to feel like we were asking for it in some way. The next time you try to , slate a victim of rape/assaults, dress sense, were they intoxicated, were they walking alone at night, past sexual behaviour you are actually defending the attacker in an indirect way. You are stopping victims of assault reporting their attackers because we fear the stigma and the assumption somehow we are to blame when in fact the attacker should be made to feel disgusting and ashamed.
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bottled
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but but.
there was a thread on this yesterday

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...2637222&page=2
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PythianLegume
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It sounds to me like you don't understand the objections people make to the claim that there is a 'rape culture'.

This whole topic is frequently presented by many people by attacking a number of straw men.
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Monkey.Man
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there's no such thing in the western/modern world
if you want rape culture, maybe go to the middle east, you may find it there
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Spetznaaz
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Possibly one of largest piles of crap i've ever read on TSR.

And that's saying something.
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Messalina
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Can the above 3 posters please explain why the myths listed in the OP are so commonly heard then? Or if you believe they're true, offer some kind of rebuttal? Shouting strawmen, calling it "crap" and telling us to go to the middle east to find more pressing issues to deal with - now where have I heard those before...?
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redferry
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(Original post by vickidc18)
I don't think half of the people on TSR actually understand what we mean by "Rape Culture" it does not mean we actively promote rape or encourage it. Rape culture is also closely related to slut-shaming and victim blaming, where rape victims are considered at fault for being raped, and it is argued that this connection is due to the presence of a culture that shames all female sexuality.That some rapes are not reported to the police due to fear that they would not be believed is often cited as a symptom of a rape culture,
In Rape we tend to put the victim on trial scrutinizing every little thing they were doing, wearing, past sexual behaviours, we would never put a victim of robbery on trial and quiz them that they had been robbed once before.

Here are some common rape myths:

Myth Do not go out alone at any time. Women are most likely to be raped outside, in dark alleyways late at night. This is the best way for a woman to protect herself.

Fact The suggestion of avoiding walking alone, especially at night is a common suggestion to avoiding sexual assault. However, only 9% of rapes are committed by 'strangers'. Women are raped in their homes and in their work places where they are less likely to be believed and even less likely to report. This myth can control movements and restricts freedom. This can feel like women are living under a 'curfew' and that it is a woman's responsibility to be either in or out at certain times. Around 90% of rapes are committed by known men.


Myth Women who are sexually assaulted 'ask for it' by the way they dress or act, rape only happens to young women.

Fact Many women are led to believe that if they are not part of a certain category of women then they are 'safe' from being raped. Women and girls of all ages, classes, culture, ability, sexuality, race and faith are raped. Attractiveness has little significance. Reports show that there is a great diversity in the way targeted women act or dress. Rapists choose women based on their vulnerability not their physical appearance.

Sometimes women see themselves as 'unworthy' or 'undesirable' because of their age or physical appearance and therefore 'safe' from rape. Some men joke or make comments about women's appearances or age to indicate whether she is sexually desirable or available, or as part of their defence in court, saying he thought 'he was doing her a favour', using her appearance or age. Women are raped from the age of three to ninety three. Rape is an act of violence not sex.



Myth The women was drunk / took drugs / had a bad reputation / was hitch hiking / wore tight clothes / seduced him / probably got what she was asking for.

Fact If a person is unconscious or their judgement is impaired by alcohol or drugs, legally they are unable to give consent. Having non-consensual sex with a person who is intoxicated is sexual assault.

Rapists use a variety of excuses to attempt to discredit the women they rape and to justify their crime. No woman asks or deserves to be rape or sexually assaulted. Often a rape case is defined more by the woman's character than by what has happened to her. Newspapers and mass media often refer to women in the roles that they have within society - 'young mother', 'grandmother', 'doctor's wife' etc. If the woman's role or social position is not seen as socially acceptable, she is often held responsible not the rapist. For example, the original 'Jack the Ripper' and Sutcliffe in the late 70's and 80's were glorified by the press. (Jack the ripper has his books, museum, cocktails, computer games and even tourist walks in London named after him where you can visit the places women were murdered!)

The rules imposed on women's behaviour allow rapists to shift the responsibility for rape onto women wherever possible, so that most of the perpetrators who rape are seen as victims of malicious allegations, carelessness or stupidity. There is no other crime in which so much effort is expended to make the victim appear responsible - imagine the character or financial background of a robbery victim being questioned in court.



Myth Women eventually relax and enjoy it. They secretly want to be raped

Fact There is a widely held belief that women enjoy rape or that it is 'just sex at the wrong time, in the wrong place'. Rape is a crime of sexual violence and humiliation which can involve being beaten, physical restraint, the use of knifes and sticks, urination and defecating. Studies have consistently shown that most rapes involve physical force to some degree. Often when a woman is raped she is afraid that she will be killed - rapists often use the threat of killing a woman or her children to ensure her 'submission' and her silence after the attack. Women do not enjoy sexual violence. Victims of murder, robbery and other crimes are never portrayed as enjoying the experience.


Myth The woman did not get hurt or fight back. It could not have been rape.

Fact Men who rape or sexually assault women and girls will often use weapons or threats of violence to intimidate women. The fact that there is no visible evidence of violence does not mean that a woman has not been raped.

Another myth that goes hand in hand with this is that ' rape is a fate worse than death' and this links with the belief that women should fight and resist throughout. Faced with the reality of rape, women make second by second decisions, all of which are directed at minimising the harm done to them. At the point where initial resistance, struggling, reasoning etc have failed, the fear of further violence often limits women's resistance. The only form of control that seems available to women at this point is limiting the harm done to them.


Myth Women often make up stories or lie about being raped.

Fact For anyone who has been raped or sexually assaulted, whether or not to report to the police can be a difficult decision. At present, it's estimated that only 15% of the 85,000 women who are raped and over 400,000 who are sexually assaulted in England and Wales every year report. One significant reason many women and girls tell us they don't go to the police is because of their fear of not being believed. Unfortunately, a disproportionate media focus on the very small number of cases each year that involve a so-called false allegation of sexual violence perpetuates the public perception that malicious false reporting is common. In fact, it is this perception that is entirely false. For many years, studies have suggested that false reporting rates for rape are no different from false reporting rates for any other crime, that is, around 4%. In March 2013, the Crown Prosecution Service published a survey confirming that false rape reports are 'very rare' and suggesting they could make up less than 1% of all reports. Read more here.


Myth Women cannot rape other women

Fact Only a man can commit the offence of Rape [Sec 1 (1) SOA 2003] as the penetration has to be with a penis. However, both women and men may experience rape. If the penetration is with something other than a penis, then the offence is assault by penetration. See Rape and the Law section.

The majority of sexual assaults are committed by men against women, but anyone can be sexually assaulted and emotional, physical and sexual abuse does happen in same sex relationships. Often when women are assaulted by other women they fear they will not be believed. It is important to realise that women who are assaulted by other women are able to access support and are believed.

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/commonmyths2.php

I have been a victim of sexual assault twice in my life, the first time I was 13 and I reported it to the authorities family members, and acquaintances tried to somehow put the blame on me "It must have been what I was wearing" "You were too friendly" "You have ruined that nice young mans life" My attacker was 27 years old so definitely knew what he was doing and he knew that attacking a 13 year old was very wrong. Yet somehow I was still made to feel blamed for this persons actions. The second time I was assaulted I was 16 by a different man, this time I didn't report it because god people would think I must be asking for it if I was sexually assaulted twice? Let me be clear I wasn't drunk, dressed in a provocative way and this happened in the middle of the day by somebody I knew, I knew the victim blaming & stigmatization would be much worse a second time round and the court system would bring up my previous sexual assault. It makes me sick that people don't report attacks because we know we will put on trial and made to feel like we were asking for it in some way. The next time you try to , slate a victim of rape/assaults, dress sense, were they intoxicated, were they walking alone at night, past sexual behaviour you are actually defending the attacker in an indirect way. You are stopping victims of assault reporting their attackers because we fear the stigma and the assumption somehow we are to blame when in fact the attacker should be made to feel disgusting and ashamed.

You shouldn't be put off by bad experiences. I always report sexual assault and the police have been nothing but supportive the three times I have done so and the time I went in support of a friend.


I will also add this is not at all how I perceive rape culture, I would describe rape culture more as the culture whereby certain men don't see anything wrong with going out and specifically picking out the drunkest girl to have sex with. The culture by which some guys go to clubs sober to pick up drunk girls in their cars and drive them home. Where people think its OK to have sex with someone who is unconscious.

Bleugh. It just makes my skin crawl.
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Spetznaaz
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(Original post by Messalina)
Can the above 3 posters please explain why the myths listed in the OP are so commonly heard then? Or if you believe they're true, offer some kind of rebuttal? Shouting strawmen, calling it "crap" and telling us to go to the middle east to find more pressing issues to deal with - now where have I heard those before...?
It's a lot of text to reply to. And i've learnt there really is no point trying to argue with feminists. Not matter how much fact and logic thrown their way, they will still stick to what their gender studies lecturer told them.

If i can be arsed i may write a proper reply. We'll see.

(Original post by redferry)

I will also add this is not at all how I perceive rape culture, I would describe rape culture more as the culture whereby certain men don't see anything wrong with going out and specifically picking out the drunkest girl to have sex with. The culture by which some guys go to clubs sober to pick up drunk girls in their cars and drive them home. Where people think its OK to have sex with someone who is unconscious.

Bleugh. It just makes my skin crawl.
Edit - just seen this. A classic trait among you feminists. You talk about taking a drunk girl home for sex (which is not in itself illegal) then you jump from that to saying an unconscious girl. As if being drunk = being unconscious.
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Llewellyn_J
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Those aren't even myths. No one thinks like that except maybe a small minority. Straw-mans all the way.
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redferry
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(Original post by Spetznaaz)
It's a lot of text to reply to. And i've learnt there really is no point trying to argue with feminists. Not matter how much fact and logic thrown their way, they will still stick to what their gender studies lecturer told them.

If i can be arsed i may write a proper reply. We'll see.



Edit - just seen this. A classic trait among you feminists. You talk about taking a drunk girl home for sex (which is not in itself illegal) then you jump from that to saying an unconscious girl. As if being drunk = being unconscious.
No they were two totally separate points, in one I stated very drunk in the other I stated unconscious.

Classic traits amongst you anti-feminists, spinning things totally out of context and attacking posters unnecessarily instead of engaging in reasoned intellectual conversation.
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RandZul'Zorander
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(Original post by Spetznaaz)
Edit - just seen this. A classic trait among you feminists. You talk about taking a drunk girl home for sex (which is not in itself illegal) then you jump from that to saying an unconscious girl. As if being drunk = being unconscious.
I don't think it was meant as a premis-conclusion. The two didn't seem to be presented as connected but as different, separate, examples.

It's interesting that you get upset over even an implied connection between the two though because try can be and generally are related.

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Llewellyn_J
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(Original post by redferry)
No they were two totally separate points, in one I stated very drunk in the other I stated unconscious.

Classic traits amongst you anti-feminists, spinning things totally out of context and attacking posters unnecessarily instead of engaging in reasoned intellectual conversation.
You didn't phrase them so.
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redferry
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(Original post by Llewellyn_J)
You didn't phrase them so.
Yes I did. They were split into neat individual sentences each illustrating a predatory action which I feel is linked to rape culture.
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Spetznaaz
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(Original post by redferry)
No they were two totally separate points, in one I stated very drunk in the other I stated unconscious.

Classic traits amongst you anti-feminists, spinning things totally out of context and attacking posters unnecessarily instead of engaging in reasoned intellectual conversation.
Okay, you have a point there, i misread your post.

I still maintain that a classic trait of feminists is to jump from one thing to another as if they = each other.

So you say that people think it's okay to have sex with an unconscious girl?

Who have you ever met who believes that, because everyone i've ever met has been pretty clear on the fact sex with someone passed out is rape.

A culture implies a large amount of people not just the rare minority.

And as for picking up drunk women from bars, what about if a sober whale took me home when i was pissed? Is that okay because i'm male and therefore she must be the victim and i must be the aggressor? Or did she rape me?

Or am i an adult who doesn't think getting drunk = no responsibility for my actions?

If i get too drunk and wake up next to someone i wish i hadn't, i blame no one but myself and learn from it.

Edit - Just to add an example of why rape culture is BS. Someone in our social circle was alleged to have tried having sex with a passed out girl. If we truly lived in a rape culture, these actions would not be seen as wrong. Of course rape culture is a total myth, and everyone was disgusted with his behavior and shunned him from the group (90% men)
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PQ
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(Original post by Llewellyn_J)
Those aren't even myths. No one thinks like that except maybe a small minority. Straw-mans all the way.
And yet the CPS see fit to specifically dismiss these myths http://www.cps.gov.uk/publications/p.../rape.html#_05
(Original post by CPS)
We are aware that there are myths and stereotypes surrounding the offence of rape. Examples of such myths include:
* rape occurs between strangers in dark alleys;
* victims provoke rape by the way they dress or act;
* victims who drink alcohol or use drugs are asking to be raped;
* rape is a crime of passion;
* if they did not scream, fight or get injured, it was not rape;
* you can tell if they 'really' have been raped by how they acts;
* victims cry rape when they regret having sex or want revenge;
* only gay men get raped/only gay men rape men; and
* prostitutes cannot be raped.
Prosecutors who deal with rape cases are taught about them as part of their specialist training. We will not allow these myths and stereotypes to influence our decisions and we will robustly challenge such attitudes in the courtroom.
Do you think they came up with this guidance for a laugh or because they were encountering these myths and stereotypes regularly in rape trials?
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Aivicore
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(Original post by redferry)
You shouldn't be put off by bad experiences. I always report sexual assault and the police have been nothing but supportive the three times I have done so and the time I went in support of a friend.


I will also add this is not at all how I perceive rape culture, I would describe rape culture more as the culture whereby certain men don't see anything wrong with going out and specifically picking out the drunkest girl to have sex with. The culture by which some guys go to clubs sober to pick up drunk girls in their cars and drive them home. Where people think its OK to have sex with someone who is unconscious.

Bleugh. It just makes my skin crawl.
Agreed.

Much as I find the points in the OP valid, I'm more concerned (and associate 'rape culture') with the idea that it's okay to prey on vulnerable or drunk or "slutty" women who have had multiple partners before. Most people will argue that they don't think it's okay, but in reality people see it as *somewhat more excusable* than assaulting a sober, well-dressed woman.
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Llewellyn_J
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(Original post by PQ)
And yet the CPS see fit to specifically dismiss these myths http://www.cps.gov.uk/publications/p.../rape.html#_05

Do you think they came up with this guidance for a laugh or because they were encountering these myths and stereotypes regularly in rape trials?
So what if they are commonly used excuses for rape? That doesn't detract from my point. We are talking about a MINORITY of people, unless you are of the opinion that a majority of males want to rape. The point of my first post was that calling it rape 'culture' implies a large enough proportion of the male population think enough like this to label the phenomenon as part of the 'culture', which is obviously not true and I obviously didn't make my thoughts clear as it was just a quick reply.
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PythianLegume
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(Original post by Messalina)
Can the above 3 posters please explain why the myths listed in the OP are so commonly heard then? Or if you believe they're true, offer some kind of rebuttal? Shouting strawmen, calling it "crap" and telling us to go to the middle east to find more pressing issues to deal with - now where have I heard those before...?
Many objections go along the lines of this report: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=2637966

Essentially, the claims that people make about rape culture are sensationalised and don't reflect the views of most people. Lots of what rape culture claims happens with all crimes - the only reason it's picked up on specifically for rape is due to the severity of the crime (probably only surpassed by murder, for which victim blaming is obviously not going to occur). People say you're asking to get mugged if you walk around dodgy areas with your iPhone out.

Secondly, when people talk about these things, they are talking specifically about cases of rape on nights out. They aren't ignoring the fact that most rapes occur in relationships, but these arguments tend to come about in the context of girls being assaulted on nights out. Of course the focus is not going to be on rape in relationships.

Some of those 'myths' I've never heard from anyone except rampant misogynists. Who in their right mind thinks all women secretly want to be raped? No-one seriously entertains those ideas; they no more indicate a rape culture than the existence of the BNP indicate a racism culture. Similarly, very few people actually blame women or remove any guilt from the perpetrators due to mitigating factors. Only the most ridiculous of people claim that a reduced sentence is warranted due to wearing revealing clothing.

Also, the OP contradicts itself by saying it's a myth that women cannot rape other women, then going on to say that under UK law, only men can rape. Hardly a myth. Perhaps it meant to say that women cannot sexually assault other women, which is something I've not heard.

I worry that people come up with 'rape culture' from the ramblings of hateful misogynists, which is equivalent to asking the EDL about their thoughts on Islam and concluding that Britain has a problem with 'Islamophobia culture'. The use of the word culture suggests it is widespread among the population and qualitatively different from their responses to other crimes. I'm not so sure.
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this also shows just how real rape culture is its terrifying tbh
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(Original post by Spetznaaz)
Okay, you have a point there, i misread your post.

I still maintain that a classic trait of feminists is to jump from one thing to another as if they = each other.
Oh I'm sorry I'll make sure I split them into separate paragraphs next time. Us silly feminists, were just all the same!


So you say that people think it's okay to have sex with an unconscious girl?
Unfortunately I have met a number of such people and had someone try to do this to me and then get really angry when I pointed out (after leaving, this was sober the next day) it really wasn't cool luckily I was asleep not actually passed out.


Who have you ever met who believes that, because everyone i've ever met has been pretty clear on the fact sex with someone passed out is rape.
You're lucky enough not to have mixed with sports club circles at university I assume?


A culture implies a large amount of people not just the rare minority.
That isn't true - cultures can be in the minority as long as a body of people think like this. I truly believe a small body of people do think like that, or at least that is my experience. I'll give another, less obvious example. A guy feels up my leg, I take him to one side and say look that's not OK, it makes me feel uncomfortable in the nicest manner humanly possible. He then precedes to have a massive go at me for 'making him feel like a pervert'. I don't know but to me it all feels like a big part of the same thing, whether you want to give it the label of rape culture or not - a lack of respect for women's rights over their own body. Personally I think rape culture is a bit over dramatic, but I wouldn't deny that there was a culture of disrespect towards women which is rife at unoversity. I didn't give a crap about women's rights really I was all like that all old **** were all equal. But then these sorts of things started happening and as soon as I started to speak out about them I got branded a feminist, like it was some sort of nasty insult. I would never have associated myself with the feminist movement otherwise.


And as for picking up drunk women from bars, what about if a sober whale took me home when i was pissed? Is that okay because i'm male and therefore she must be the victim and i must be the aggressor? Or did she rape me?
I have never ever seen that happen but if it did happen to you that is just as bad. No one sober should take advantage of someone's drunkenness in that way. Technically because she is a woman it would not legally be rape, however it would be classed as sexual assault and if she penetrated you assault by penetration which is the same as rape in all but the name. I don't necessarily agree with those laws but that is the way it is.


Or am i an adult who doesn't think getting drunk = no responsibility for my actions?

If i get too drunk and wake up next to someone i wish i hadn't, i blame no one but myself and learn from it.
So you don't think guys driving to clubs to pick up girls so drunk they can barely walk is predatory?
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