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Do you look down on men who pay for sex ?

As someone who a year ago vowed to stay single after another horrific breakup and subsequently has so far had the most promiscuous year of his life, you would probably be left wondering why i'm now considering paying for my sex.

A series of rebounds and one night stands that followed continues until the present and even though the end result does the job, i'm getting increasingly frustrated with what has to be done before getting anywhere near to that stage.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I never could stand the loud, noisy, alcohol-fueled and overly-hyped club/party culture that we have in the UK. But seeing as i'm done with relationships, yet still at a young age in my early 20's where I want to have sex with women I find attractive, there's not an awful lot of compromise.

Sure I could go out for the umpteenth consecutive time this weekend, drink and smoke my head off, "advertise" myself with what I wear and my superficial conversational skills that so blatantly just want to get a girl into bed, but to be honest I can't be arsed anymore. It gets a bit tiring and self-degrading week upon week of the same routine of flaunting yourself like a prize-winning dog at the local fair until a girl
(because that's the only way round it's allowed to happen right ?) eventually agrees to do the deed.

As of yet, I'm still yet to contribute my finances to the industry of prostitution in the hope that simpler methods of having sex do exist. Friends with Benefits and **** buddies don't appeal as anecdotal perspectives just imply that it always leads to more.

What are you views on the men that pay for sex ?

(edited 9 years ago)

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philosophically, why is paying for sex any more "negative" than paying for any other thing? I paid for my clothes, I paid for my ipod, etc, why must one be limited to getting sex from a particular source if I recognise sex as something good? I don't pay for sex and I new have, but I would only say that a person who paid for it was rich and not much else - if not for the price (and the risk of STDs) though I'd be paying for sex like dominoes :lol:
(edited 9 years ago)
I'd encourage you to read a bit about sex trafficking in the UK before contributing demand to the completely unregulated prostitution market. I have no objection to women (or men for that matter) selling sex in an open, regulated market where they are protected from violence, threats and coercion and are freely consenting. However this is not the situation in the UK - be aware of the potential harm you could be contributing to before you decide to buy sex.
Every man pays for sex in one way or another. You buy her a drink and then you take her home. You still paid for sex. You took her out to a fancy dinner and you paid the bill then you took her home. You still paid for sex.

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Original post by tibbles209
I'd encourage you to read a bit about sex trafficking in the UK before contributing demand to the completely unregulated prostitution market. I have no objection to women (or men for that matter) selling sex in an open, regulated market where they are protected from violence, threats and coercion and are freely consenting. However this is not the situation in the UK - be aware of the potential harm you could be contributing to before you decide to buy sex.


brothels are pretty good for protecting prostitutes seeing as they're inside an indoor facility with guards and all - it's silly how the UK has banned brothels when they can provide prostitutes with better protection from harm and STDs (e.g. in germany they check each person that comes in for STDs, crabs, weapons etc)
Think of it like this.

You're not paying for sex. You're paying to not chat her up, not buy her drinks, not pretend to care about what she has to say and to not talk to her the morning after.
If they are freely consenting, there is no harm in it.

I watched a documentary about this and IIRC apparently it is legal for a single prostitute to be in a house, but if there are multiple prostitutes, it is counted as a brothel, which is illegal.

You pay for everything else, why should sex be any different? If you can't get any or just want quick sex without any trouble, go for it.

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Reply 7
Original post by tibbles209
I'd encourage you to read a bit about sex trafficking in the UK before contributing demand to the completely unregulated prostitution market. I have no objection to women (or men for that matter) selling sex in an open, regulated market where they are protected from violence, threats and coercion and are freely consenting. However this is not the situation in the UK - be aware of the potential harm you could be contributing to before you decide to buy sex.


I'm am aware of it.

It's a topic that's interested me for years which alone is the sole cause of reluctance I have about approaching the industry.

I am however not under the illusion that every woman is trafficked, forced into it or has no choice as a lot of people would make out.
Original post by Xyloid
I'm am aware of it.

It's a topic that's interested me for years which alone is the sole cause of reluctance I have about approaching the industry.

I am however not under the illusion that every woman is trafficked, forced into it or has no choice as a lot of people would make out.


Of course not everyone is, but it is difficult to know for sure the circumstances under which a given woman is working and so it is difficult to confidently buy sex without risking contributing to harm.
No, I do not.

Unless you exploit the sex workers and make them sleep with you for a lower price.
It's just like paying for drugs in my opinion. If it was a properly regulated environment, then I'd see nothing wrong with it.

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No, assuming you don't know or suspect she's doing it due to coercion or desperate need (with the latter usually being pimped anyway). However, to do that you're probably going to spend a lot of money.
Reply 12
Well, you're paying for it one way or another so, logically, I should say no.
Original post by Xyloid
As someone who a year ago vowed to stay single after another horrific breakup and subsequently has so far had the most promiscuous year of his life, you would probably be left wondering why i'm now considering paying for my sex.

It's the longest I've been single in the last 6 or 7 year after experiencing another out of the blue and devastating breakup that to this day has left me very pessimistic about ever having another relationships at all. A series of rebounds and one night stands that followed continues until the present and even though the end result does the job, i'm getting increasingly frustrated with what has to be done before getting anywhere near to that stage.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I never could stand the loud, noisy, alcohol-fueled and overly-hyped club/party culture that we have in the UK. But seeing as i'm done with relationships, yet still at a young age in my early 20's where I want to have sex with women I find attractive, there's not an awful lot of compromise.

Sure I could go out for the umpteenth consecutive time this weekend, drink and smoke my head off, "advertise" myself with what I wear and my superficial conversational skills that so blatantly just want to get a girl into bed, but to be honest I can't be arsed anymore. It gets a bit tiring and self-degrading week upon week of the same routine of flaunting yourself like a prize-winning dog at the local fair until a girl
(because that's the only way round it's allowed to happen right ?) eventually agrees to do the deed.

As of yet, I'm still yet to contribute my finances to the industry of prostitution in the hope that simpler methods of having sex do exist. Friends with Benefits and **** buddies don't appeal as anecdotal perspectives just imply that it always leads to more.

What are you views on the men that pay for sex ?




tl;dr, so perhaps you answered this, but why don't you just have an ONS?
Reply 14
Original post by cole-slaw
tl;dr, so perhaps you answered this, but why don't you just have an ONS?


"Sure I could go out for the umpteenth consecutive time this weekend, drink and smoke my head off, "advertise" myself with what I wear and my superficial conversational skills that so blatantly just want to get a girl into bed, but to be honest I can't be arsed anymore. It gets a bit tiring and self-degrading week upon week of the same routine of flaunting yourself like a prize-winning dog at the local fair until a girl (because that's the only way round it's allowed to happen right ?) eventually agrees to do the deed."

It's probably best if you don't reply. I've argued with you before and we don't see eye to eye on stuff surrounding efforts made by the genders.
I don't look down on them. In fact, I look up at them - as I take the testicles into my mouth and tuck my new crisp £10 note into my pocket.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Xyloid
"Sure I could go out for the umpteenth consecutive time this weekend, drink and smoke my head off, "advertise" myself with what I wear and my superficial conversational skills that so blatantly just want to get a girl into bed, but to be honest I can't be arsed anymore. It gets a bit tiring and self-degrading week upon week of the same routine of flaunting yourself like a prize-winning dog at the local fair until a girl (because that's the only way round it's allowed to happen right ?) eventually agrees to do the deed."

It's probably best if you don't reply. I've argued with you before and we don't see eye to eye on stuff surrounding efforts made by the genders.


ok, I won't argue with you. Good luck with the prostitute. Make sure to double wrap.
Personally, I think it's very objectifying. You are treatment women as if they are products you can buy and are only useful for sex, then dispose of them.

It's your life though, and I think you should make a decision for yourself, but if you're not sure, reflect on it more just so you don't regret it :smile:. In 10 years time, will you be ashamed of it?
Original post by mikeyd85
Think of it like this.

You're not paying for sex. You're paying to not chat her up, not buy her drinks, not pretend to care about what she has to say and to not talk to her the morning after.


Reply 19
Original post by OrlaCarmel
Personally, I think it's very objectifying. You are treatment women as if they are products you can buy and are only useful for sex, then dispose of them.


I don't think its really objectifying though if you are aware of the fact that prostitutes are probably not representative of their gender as a whole but rather part of a minority who are willing to provide a service for money, nor does their occupation define them.

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