In love with one of my closest friend

I'm in love with my friend and I don't know how to go about this, (she's a girl, I'm a guy and the attraction is there, I think it is, we live together and always see her checking me out when I'm topless, and I'm defo attracted to her) we're both single as well.

Interest wise however we do not have much in common, well actually we both read the news, keep up with current affairs, and can talk about loads of stuff like this, like intellectual stuff, but it all always ends up being serious conversations, the music I'm into, she isn't into, she doesn't watch movies or any of the TV shows I watch, she watches the random show on iplayer but that's about it. We can go to the pub and talk for ages but I never feel that idk sort of connection interest wise? I always feel a sort of burden to keep the conversation alive, I do love her, I love who she is as a person, I love what she stands for but I just feel like there's something missing and if I do tell her how I feel and something does happen and it doesn't work then I may lose one of my best friends..

At the same time I really want to know how she feels about me, I've said that 'I love her' while being under the influence of drugs but that was defo in a more friendship way, and that's how it was received as well. I've been thinking of just telling her that I am in love with her the next time we're under the same influence and that way I guess in a way I'll no what she honestly feels in her heart

So there really are two issues here, I'm in love with someone who has little in common with me interest wise, and whether or not I should even tell her that I'm in love with her because of the first issue?

Reply 1

Believe2014

You need to tell her that you are in love with her trust me on this.... You dont want to have regrets down the line regretting it. It does not matter if you two dont have much interests... At least you have some. Make her understand if she doesnt feel the same then its fine because you still want to be friends. But please tell her about it.

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Reply 2

hotliketea

i'm starting to feel like every post i make is about my relationship :') but i've been with my boyfriend for four years and we came together in a similar way - we were best friends , we talked loads , we used to hold hands , but neither of us did anything

then we started hinting to each other that we liked the other , and then one day in st james' park when i was leaning on his chest i kissed him and he asked me out :smile:

still together , very happy

however , i do think we have a lot in common? or if not , we enjoy whatever the other person enjoys , we're happy to do it

Reply 3

Lotus_Eater

That must be one of the oddest declarations of love I've read on here.

It's almost like the OP is trying to talk himself out of his feelings. Enjoying different music and TV shouldn't prevent an otherwise well-matched couple getting together, particularly if the experience of living together hasn't put you off.

If you've got drunk and done drugs together and never taken things further under the influence, I would suggest caution: perhaps she may not reciprocate these feelings. I'd suggest what the OP needs to do is set up a few pseudo-dates where it's just them but ostensibly going as just friends. Her conduct on these outings should disclose where she's at.

Normally I'm the first to advocate asking someone outright if they like you but since there's a close friendship at stake, you need to proceed with slightly more certainty lest you end up with no girlfriend and no friend.

Reply 4

JPGR

If you live together and you go and tell her you like, and she doesn't see you that way, its going to cause major house issues. "Don't **** on your own doorstep" and all of that.

Lotus Eater's suggestion of pseudo-dates is probably sensible.

In love with one of my closest friend

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