The Student Room Group

any tips for getting a girlfriend. never had one

hey people, im shy and have loads of guy friends. we have a laugh every now and again but i feel lonely and really want to meet a girl like to share stuff with and to go some places that naturally going with guys may be a bit ackward. i dunno how to start or anything, ive never had a girlfriend before as ive said. only approached 2 girls in my life and im 19 lol. first didnt go well, and second i dont have a clue. dont think she likes me. anyway ive only liked 3 girls dunno why, but maybe that the prob. any help will be well appreciated.

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Reply 1
Do your guy mates have any girls as friends? You could get them to introduce you and hang around in a crowd, probably less intimidating than on your own with a girl. Otherwise, try to put yourself in situations where you'd meet girls - university/school clubs, church/temple/mosque etc or 'religious' social events, orchestras, anything really. Put on a DVD evening at your house and drag some girl mates of your mates along.

Girls aren't that scary, I promise! (well, I can't speak for all of them of course, but I've not known any of my friends eat guys alive...). Don't spring a 'will you go out with me?' on the girl you like. Try to get chatting with her about some mutaul interest, build a friendship over time so you each feel comfortable with each other, then I expect it'll be easier for you to talk to her. You might also get to know her friends or can have your mates make subtle enquiries as to her feelings about you.
Anonymous
hey people, im shy and have loads of guy friends. we have a laugh every now and again but i feel lonely and really want to meet a girl like to share stuff with and to go some places that naturally going with guys may be a bit ackward. i dunno how to start or anything, ive never had a girlfriend before as ive said. only approached 2 girls in my life and im 19 lol. first didnt go well, and second i dont have a clue. dont think she likes me. anyway ive only liked 3 girls dunno why, but maybe that the prob. any help will be well appreciated.


I'm same as you.
Reply 3
You just have to put yourself out there and hope for the best. Yes there are times when your going to get rejected but don't forget we are only human and we don't bite. If you like a girl just talk to her as a friend and then move on to asking her out the worst she can do is say no and then its up to you to dust yourself of and try again. There is someone out there for everyone you just have to find them
Reply 4
scfsv
Reply 5
Madprof
Do your guy mates have any girls as friends? You could get them to introduce you and hang around in a crowd, probably less intimidating than on your own with a girl. Otherwise, try to put yourself in situations where you'd meet girls - university/school clubs, church/temple/mosque etc or 'religious' social events, orchestras, anything really. Put on a DVD evening at your house and drag some girl mates of your mates along.

Girls aren't that scary, I promise! (well, I can't speak for all of them of course, but I've not known any of my friends eat guys alive...). Don't spring a 'will you go out with me?' on the girl you like. Try to get chatting with her about some mutaul interest, build a friendship over time so you each feel comfortable with each other, then I expect it'll be easier for you to talk to her. You might also get to know her friends or can have your mates make subtle enquiries as to her feelings about you.



thanks for the advice, i was very reassuring. well some of my mates dont have many girl friends either but some do and are not that willing for them to hang out with us ie a night out/ just to chill somewhere.

the getting to know her thing i have tried with a girls mate was chatting to her and well i liked her friend kinda told her to see if she could help but when we started talking after a while like about each other we had so much in common and i think the girl thought well i may go for her instead and she will be second best something along those lines. im guessing anyway. i dont know we got on well, chatted for long and stuff next time i saw her i said i tried to talk to her ie how u been and stuff she just ignored me and keot doing it. so im not sure at all what happenend and that has bugged me for a while. anyway, most have been me somehow.

another thing is im not much of a talker, well i dont know, most times when im with girls i dont know what to say and i think i make a fool of myself. so thats another reason i dont approach any girl.

i know some girls will try and help you out like talking and seem interested and ask you stuff but its still difficult cos you never know how she will respond.
Reply 6
Dont go to Loughborough University...the ratio isnt helpful

*nb i am going to loughborough*
Reply 7
Anonymous
thanks for the advice, i was very reassuring. well some of my mates dont have many girl friends either but some do and are not that willing for them to hang out with us ie a night out/ just to chill somewhere.

the getting to know her thing i have tried with a girls mate was chatting to her and well i liked her friend kinda told her to see if she could help but when we started talking after a while like about each other we had so much in common and i think the girl thought well i may go for her instead and she will be second best something along those lines. im guessing anyway. i dont know we got on well, chatted for long and stuff next time i saw her i said i tried to talk to her ie how u been and stuff she just ignored me and keot doing it. so im not sure at all what happenend and that has bugged me for a while. anyway, most have been me somehow.

another thing is im not much of a talker, well i dont know, most times when im with girls i dont know what to say and i think i make a fool of myself. so thats another reason i dont approach any girl.

i know some girls will try and help you out like talking and seem interested and ask you stuff but its still difficult cos you never know how she will respond.
Sounds like this girl's being a little odd, but doesn't neccesarily mean it was you ( then again asking about her friend then 'hitting' on her can't have helped, but she'll get over it). Let her cool down a bit and see if she'll talk. Otherwise forget it, she's being off with you and it's not worth the bother.

Girls like to talk about themselves (well, I do!), so a good topic of conversation could be about her, her hobbies, music you're both into. I'm quite shy too and I find MSN easier than real life sometimes when talking to guys. Try not to think 'oh no, it's a giiiirl!' and stress about it. We do have a lot of things in common with guys - music, sport, how boring the last biology lesson was, whatever. In a club, even 'How cheesy is this music?' is a way of starting off a conversation. A compliment is also nice in the right situation, probably something about a girl's skill at a sport or something if you don't want to compliment them on their clothes, hair etc.

I doubt you make a fool of yourself really, you just imagine you do as it sounds like you're just nervous and not sure girls'll like you, when they probably do!
Don't go there... Women are psychos.
Lunar_Scorpion
Don't go there... Women are psychos.

:rofl:
Reply 10
Lunar_Scorpion
Don't go there... Women are psychos.


Speak for yourself. :p: :biggrin:
Reply 11
Be yourself.
Charl!
Speak for yourself. :p: :biggrin:


amen:biggrin:
Don't look then you'll probably end up finding one
Reply 14
You need to get used to chatting to girls in general and getting to know wha tthey like to chat about and how well they respond to certain comments / subjects. Talk to girls, even if you are not interested in them, for practice. If you save it all up for when you really like a girl, no wonder you get nervous.
I have to say, you sound quite adorable. You just need to relax and not focus too much on 'finding someone'. Just try and socialise a bit more. I know it's hard if you are naturally quiet, but you need to push yourself if your not happy. Eventually, I think it'll start coming naturally and I'm sure then you'll meet someon you like and who likes you back.
oh dear.
Reply 16
I say just relax and have a good time being single, dont worry about it and it will happen in time. But just try to relax around girls, just talk to them normally ask her about herself and make a new friend :biggrin:
Reply 17
A Y Z
Be yourself.


He has tried that for 19 years and it clearly hasn't worked. Be yourself but with confidence and you should be fine.
Reply 18
Elipsis
He has tried that for 19 years and it clearly hasn't worked. Be yourself but with confidence and you should be fine.


He shouldnt have to change for ne girls, ok maybe a little mre confidence would give him a boost to talk to more girls but if someone does like you for who you are... tuff you shouldnt have to change!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1841957518/sr=8-1/qid=1154612952/ref=pd_ka_1/026-9656522-1946844?ie=UTF8&s=gateway

Go for it. It's a fun book to read, and will give you some pointers.


He shouldnt have to change for ne girls, ok maybe a little mre confidence would give him a boost to talk to more girls but if someone does like you for who you are... tuff you shouldnt have to change!


Self improvement is something we should all strive for. To become a better, more interesting, confident, sociable person is an approach that will not only serve you well when meeting women, but in every aspect of your life.