GIRLS - What do you think of "nice guys"

Yes I'm talking about the ones that are TOO NICE for their own good. They are supposedly emotional *******s... They finish last, are used, get cheated on etc.

Why don't you date them? What's wrong with them? What repulses you the most about them?

If someone asked you about someone and you say "he's a really nice guy".... do you mean that as an insult or do you see him as lacking personality?

:confused:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Inazuma

Original post by SuperDuperNoob

normally goes alongside with lack of confidence

Reply 2

Get_Buckets

I've been told by a really really good-looking girl that I'm too nice, even though she didn't completely ignore me which is fine with me. But otherwise I don't think I'm too nice, I'm learning to be a bit less than I was.

Girls don't like 'nice guys' because they're just needy and annoying. Look at it this way - you're sitting there, minding your own business, and a not-so-good looking girl comes up to you and starts talking to you. Let's say she's fat, someone you most likely wouldn't ever want to date. You can see in her eyes that sheepish look, that smile is just way too enthusiastic, and you get annoyed of her company already. You say what the heck and respond to her. Then she just gives you ALL of her attention and starts bugging you and gets more and more clingy. Then the alarm starts to ring in your head, you sense that if you don't push her away now it will be harder to do it later on, so you try to reject her in as much of a friendly way as possible. She doesn't care, she's all nice...way too nice to you and that annoys you even more because in your mind she's never going to be attractive.

The thing is, you never even wanted to date her and she just comes up to you and starts getting at you, so that's uncool. It's not that you want to personally hurt her feelings, you just want her to go away from YOU. You'd probably wish her the best of luck, just you don't want her annoying you at that moment because she's ugly and too nice. Well that's similar for girls who are approached by nice guys. They're annoying. Of course I'm oversimplifying but you get my point, I hope.

Reply 3

Orthonym

Just because you think someone is a lovely person doesn't mean you relate to them and want to date them. Identifying with them (similar how to you identify with the main character in a book/movie) is important. The person might just be really different to you in certain ways that mean you've never really considered them romantically. If they are confident or flirty then it makes you consider them romantically.

I'm going out with a "nice guy" though. There are "nice guys" in relationships, just there are quite a lot of shy nice guys so not all of them will find relationships at a young age.

Reply 4

Get_Buckets

Original post by Orthonym

I guess I somewhat fall into the definition of a shy nice guy. If I suck at dating, how am I meant to find a girlfriend?

Reply 5

tee05

Way too clingy, I know this from 2 years experience and it killed me

Reply 6

Orthonym

Original post by Get_Buckets

I guess I somewhat fall into the definition of a shy nice guy. If I suck at dating, how am I meant to find a girlfriend?

I didn't do dating with my boyfriend, we started as friends and knew each other for 2 years before we went out. Neither of us was particularly looking for romance at the time, we just happened to develop feelings for each other.

Your problem is that you want a girlfriend. You want one for the sake of having a girlfriend, it would make you feel good. You're insecure. Girls will pick up on that. If I met you, I would probably think "oh, he doesn't really like me or know me, he just wants any girl to fancy him because it would make him feel amazing" That would make me feel sad, so I probably wouldn't go out with you.

It's not something that you can change about yourself, but over time you'll slowly get more mature and understand more. If you had a girlfriend right now, you'd probably think more highly of yourself. but having a girlfriend doesn't make you any different, it doesn't mean you're cooler or more attractive, you're still the same person. You can't make yourself get deep feelings for someone, and you can't make them feel it for you either, it will just happen in time. Just keep making loads of friends, and when you meet them, don't start thinking about whether you might want to date them or not, just get to know them and think of them as a friend only. That way, if you start to like someone you know that it's not just a lousy crush that won't lead to anything, it means that you're actually compatible with them and you like them for more than their looks.

Reply 7

Sorrowful_Watchm

This has the answers:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

Reply 8

Riku

You get nice guys who are perfect, nice guys who would be relationship material but need a bit of a confidence boost, and nice guys who you shouldn't touch with a ten foot barge pole because they later become crazy stalker ex-boyfriends after you inevitably dump them. And who would blame you for running from them?

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 9

cole-slaw

There are other factors on which men are judged than niceness.

Being nice is a positive quality, but a lot of men mistake being creepy/clingy/pathetic for being nice. These are not positive qualities.

Reply 10

Get_Buckets

Original post by Orthonym

That is some very good advice, thank you :smile:

I will have lots to think about. You said so many true things about me with only very limited information, can't believe it.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 11

TSRgawdlike

Two forms of nice guy.

The type who will make the girl sore and exhausted from the ****ing and will rub cream into her and the creepers who pretend they're nice because they dont understand women.

Women ddo not like the latter. They're pretend nice guys who are more likely to beat her or rape her if given the chance.

Reply 12

cole-slaw

Original post by TSRgawdlike

Cream? What cream? What the **** are you talking about?

Reply 13

Vespasunset

So if you don't like 'nice' guys what attracts you to 'not nice' guys??

Reply 14

cole-slaw

Original post by Vespasunset

So if you don't like 'nice' guys what attracts you to 'not nice' guys??

Girls do like nice guys, just not "nice guys".

Reply 15

miser

"Nice guys" is a euphemism: it means they're pleasant enough but completely unattractive. Being nice isn't enough, you must be attractive; and if you are attractive, it doesn't matter if you are nice or not.

Reply 16

cole-slaw

Original post by miser

bit of a stretch. if you act like an ass you will quite soon run out of girls willing to be messed around.

Reply 17

miser

Original post by cole-slaw

bit of a stretch. if you act like an ass you will quite soon run out of girls willing to be messed around.

For a relationship I think it matters, but in terms of hooking up? Nah.

Reply 18

Aivicore

If someone was described to me as a "nice guy", I'd take it at face value and just assume they're alright.

If someone describes themselves as a nice guy, I'm somewhat more wary. The internet neckbeards who self-identify as "nice guys" tend to have the definition down all wrong.

That said, I don't know how someone can be "too nice" as in the OP. The only issue that can possibly come from being "too nice" is other people taking advantage of it, which is a reflection on them and not the person who is "nice". Kindness should be applauded.