The Student Room Group

Am I a loser?

Come from a very supportive family. Dad is an Oxbridge professor. 25 years old. Dropped out of a second tier prestigious uni. No Job, just about to begin volunteer work for local radio and work part time in a pubto fund possible part time qualifications, maybe web design). Then may work also part time doing walk leading, maybe abroad. May also work as a bartender abroad for a while on a scheme with language course, once I have some money together, plan to keep going like this, travelling and working, maybe until my experience at the radio station maybe leads to something. Am I a loser, given my background? (I've actually managed to make myself sound better by the end of this post than I expected or felt when I set out with it) I'd just be interested for anyone elses experiences/views about their life situation and background

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Reply 1
Listen, as long as you are happy and doing what you want to do, then to hell what anyone else thinks...and you certainly aren't a loser
Reply 2
I mean to say, to carry on with 'menial' jobs nowhere near the 'intelligent' professions, just to keep myself going and have a fun lifestyle, little bitofpub, little bit of travel, do things I want to etc.That seems like success 'cos it's happiness to me,but am I loser for not trying hard to take on more challenge/responsability I guess is my question?
Reply 3
Happiness is the main thing - not money, or so-called 'success'
You have it all worked out.

Of course you're a loser.

Be thankful you can work behind bars etc and aren't painfully shy or impossibly introverted.

Don't compare yourself to your parents. Unless you ARE your own father. It wasn't clear from that post. Sounded like your dad is 25.
Reply 5
I have felt like one previously, but when I set out my plans as in that post it seems OK to me. I've begun to realise that life is to be lived and should be fun....
if you do what you want to do and happy doing it you are not a loser. you are the envy of all men and women
Reply 7
Cheers Trent
Reply 8
Anonymous
I have felt like one previously, but when I set out my plans as in that post it seems OK to me. I've begun to realise that life is to be lived and should be fun....
In which case you've answered your own question- no, you're not a loser!
Reply 9
There are 25 year olds in far worse positions.
you arent getting any younger though. do something quick
Reply 11
10inchpianist
if you do what you want to do and happy doing it you are not a loser. you are the envy of all men and women

True, in a moment of clarity now I see that, but in the past one can get in a state of being convinced one is miserable and wants something else, when in fact happiness is there to be had. You just have to see yourself in control, rather than allowing happiness to be some view that others force upon you, or thinking there's some way you must think
i think your ultimate goal in life should be to be100% happy. anything else is a failure in my books. that has nothing to do with how much money you have or comparing yourself to others
Reply 13
I worked behind a bar for a long while before uni, and had mixed feelings. I liked the lack of responsability, the people, feeling of belonging and the simple routine......Sometimes very dull and thought I should be getting more stimulation, especially in the day. But I didn't make all that much effort with other bar staff, considering I'm usually good with people. But could easily do it again, but be in a position this time where I'm not so self-obsessed andknow what I want, and can go out and find a good relationship too
Reply 14
I think i'm more in a position to try and have goodrelationships now too, not so hung up as before.....
Reply 15
Before I would have thought that PHD student wouldn't be interested in me cos I work in a bar, my status hang up, when I didnt realise that she was!!
Reply 16
But i dunno, that was 19 before uni. Maybe you do start to feel a lonely loser in a pub at 25. Although maybe if I was living somewhere cool in London or whatever it'd be good. I also have another job offer to be housed and given meals in exchange for fundraising for a homeless charity in London(which MAY involve being on of those street fundraisers) Part of me thinks thats going nowhere, and loserish, part of me again thinks, cool, not too much responsability, get to live in London with a little pocket money, shared sociable hostel etc I'm torn kinda
Anonymous
Come from a very supportive family. Dad is an Oxbridge professor. 25 years old. Dropped out of a second tier prestigious uni. No Job, just about to begin volunteer work for local radio and work part time in a pubto fund possible part time qualifications, maybe web design). Then may work also part time doing walk leading, maybe abroad. May also work as a bartender abroad for a while on a scheme with language course, once I have some money together, plan to keep going like this, travelling and working, maybe until my experience at the radio station maybe leads to something. Am I a loser, given my background? (I've actually managed to make myself sound better by the end of this post than I expected or felt when I set out with it) I'd just be interested for anyone elses experiences/views about their life situation and background


I can understand it would be difficult when your dad has such a prestigious occupation, but there's no reason to feel pressure just because your chosen lifestyle isn't so highly regarded. It's futile to try and base your lifestyle around the lifestyle of your parents if that's not what you want for yourself.

To me, it sounds as if you're doing plenty of interesting things and you know what you want. If it suits you and you're enjoying it, there's no reason not to continue living the way you do now.
Reply 18
Anonymous
True, in a moment of clarity now I see that, but in the past one can get in a state of being convinced one is miserable and wants something else, when in fact happiness is there to be had. You just have to see yourself in control, rather than allowing happiness to be some view that others force upon you, or thinking there's some way you must think


Good. Now; actually teach yourself to believe that, and that the goals you have set yourself are conducive to it, and you'll cease being a 'loser'.
Reply 19
Profesh
Good. Now; actually teach yourself to believe that, and that the goals you have set yourself are conducive to it, and you'll cease being a 'loser'.


Well I guess I'm not so invulnerable that i wasn't swayed by other people at sometimes in my life. May I ask, when did you become empowered by realising the above?