Considering running away, changing my name and starting a whole new life...
Hello Jo
I need your help and advice. I am very unsure of what to do exactly but I know one thing: I want to break away. I have had enough of life.
Back story: I was bullied and abused in childhood. I left to go to university two years ago to escape that environment and to rebuild my life. I have since completed CBT. I thought university would be the best escape plan, especially as I am not being hurt any more. However I feel as though this is not enough. Having a horrible childhood is like a curse: you cannot fully rid yourself of it. I want a massive change to be honest.
For a very long time I have been thinking about running away to another city or country, creating a new identity and starting life afresh. The whole point of this would be in order to completely cut ties with my past and live life the way I want.
I don't know where to get help and advice for this sort of thing, but I need a plan and I need to be able to access a service that helps domestic violence victims escape their past. I was wondering if something like Witness Protection would help me? Problem is, witness protection is for those who testified against someone and I haven't reported any crime. If I did though, I would have no choice but to go into Witness Protection as I would be in danger for reporting what happened to me even though I now live away for university.
This is a drastic move. It makes me sad and angry that I have and, and still have to, sacrifice things to escape what happened and it is so unfair. I would have to leave all my friends behind. I would have to cut of my siblings. But I guess this is the price I would have to pay. I think it is best to completely cut away from everything. I have always wanted to run away, change my identity and start a new life and live a relatively normal existence instead of 'existing' in the life I was born into. I always wanted something different.
What do I do?
I need your help and advice. I am very unsure of what to do exactly but I know one thing: I want to break away. I have had enough of life.
Back story: I was bullied and abused in childhood. I left to go to university two years ago to escape that environment and to rebuild my life. I have since completed CBT. I thought university would be the best escape plan, especially as I am not being hurt any more. However I feel as though this is not enough. Having a horrible childhood is like a curse: you cannot fully rid yourself of it. I want a massive change to be honest.
For a very long time I have been thinking about running away to another city or country, creating a new identity and starting life afresh. The whole point of this would be in order to completely cut ties with my past and live life the way I want.
I don't know where to get help and advice for this sort of thing, but I need a plan and I need to be able to access a service that helps domestic violence victims escape their past. I was wondering if something like Witness Protection would help me? Problem is, witness protection is for those who testified against someone and I haven't reported any crime. If I did though, I would have no choice but to go into Witness Protection as I would be in danger for reporting what happened to me even though I now live away for university.
This is a drastic move. It makes me sad and angry that I have and, and still have to, sacrifice things to escape what happened and it is so unfair. I would have to leave all my friends behind. I would have to cut of my siblings. But I guess this is the price I would have to pay. I think it is best to completely cut away from everything. I have always wanted to run away, change my identity and start a new life and live a relatively normal existence instead of 'existing' in the life I was born into. I always wanted something different.
What do I do?
Hi
I am really glad you got in touch, it sounds like things have been incredibly hard for a long time and you need some support.
I understand you feeling like you need to escape and start again. It is good that you tried CBT but that is really about changing negative thought patterns and behaviours, and is maybe not the best type of therapy for someone who has experienced abuse. What happened was not your fault and you need support to deal with what happened and to learn how to cope and move on.
There are some brilliant organisations that support people who have been abused. I can tell you about the best one for you. I am guessing that as this happened in childhood you were abused by a family member or someone you knew? This is slightly different to domestic violence which is abuse from someone you are or have been in an intimate relationship with, so the services are therefore different.
A good place to start is this organisation who support adults who were abused as children:
www.napac.org.uk/
You can get confidential advice and it would be up to you if you wanted to report what happened. If you feel you would be in danger from someone then you can get support from the police.
It sounds like you have been incredibly brave and resilient for a long time, but you don't have to try to cope with this alone, there is a lot of support out here to help you rebuild your life.
I hope this helps,
feel free to send me a private message if you want to talk more,
take care
Jo
I am really glad you got in touch, it sounds like things have been incredibly hard for a long time and you need some support.
I understand you feeling like you need to escape and start again. It is good that you tried CBT but that is really about changing negative thought patterns and behaviours, and is maybe not the best type of therapy for someone who has experienced abuse. What happened was not your fault and you need support to deal with what happened and to learn how to cope and move on.
There are some brilliant organisations that support people who have been abused. I can tell you about the best one for you. I am guessing that as this happened in childhood you were abused by a family member or someone you knew? This is slightly different to domestic violence which is abuse from someone you are or have been in an intimate relationship with, so the services are therefore different.
A good place to start is this organisation who support adults who were abused as children:
www.napac.org.uk/
You can get confidential advice and it would be up to you if you wanted to report what happened. If you feel you would be in danger from someone then you can get support from the police.
It sounds like you have been incredibly brave and resilient for a long time, but you don't have to try to cope with this alone, there is a lot of support out here to help you rebuild your life.
I hope this helps,
feel free to send me a private message if you want to talk more,
take care
Jo
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