This thread may offend people... But let's try not to turn it into a slanging match.

Being yourself doesnt work if you're a ****.

Okay, well every other day we have a new "How to attract women", "How to get a girlfriend" thread.

We do occasionally get these thread from women about men, but the fact is - men feel (rightly or wrongly) that it's much easier for women and that they hold all the cards.

When such threads pop, up you'll have guys who'll state things like:
"Don't compliment women, until such and such a time..."
"Don't do X,Y & Z on the first date."
"Don't say X, Y & Z until such and such a time"

Whereas the girls will immediately state that the above advice is nonsense, a guy should just 'be himself', and 'no formula works for all girls.'

My question is - Is this really the case?
Obviously nothing will ever work for every person on earth, but does doing certain things (even things girls claim they hate) increase your chances?

Do most women (and men, but like I said it's a problem men feel more) actually truly desire what they say they do, in your experience?

I ask this because I was hanging out with a friend of mine, who I hadn't seen since college, and he said he's had an epiphany since university, and that he no longer (or very very rarely) compliments women he's interesting in on their appearance, which has resulted in him becoming 'successful' with the ladies. He isn't rude to them or anything. Just simply doesn't compliment them on their appearance.

Obviously most women would claim they'd never like that. But his theory is that women hear it all the time, and by not complimenting them (even if they compliment him) they become more interested.

So do we (both men and women) actually know what we want?


Inb4 - 'The type of woman that doesn't like compliments isn't worth it, or whatever.'

Your friend probably just acts a lot less needy now and is more confident that he can get girls! If a guy wants a girlfriend simply for the sake of having a girlfriend and proving to himself that he is good enough to get one, then girls will pick up on that and think *oh he doesn't actually know or like me, he just wants someone to fancy him to make him feel good so he is acting really nice to me*

I do think guys should just be themselves, but if themselves is just wanting to get a girlfriend, any girlfriend but preferably not ugly, then they can't expect girls to start liking them because it shows.

I can guarantee that it will have been purely coincidental that op's friend started doing better with women when he was less desperate. Women do not pick up on desperation - it's a myth. He probably just came across women who found him physically attractive.

As soon as a woman sees a man, she immediately decides whether she finds him attractive, and it is all based on looks. If a woman finds you physically attractive, how you behave won't matter at all.

I hate compliments about how I look, well excessive ones, so yes.

Women say what they want for other people; not themselves. They think that other women should like someone to "just be themselves", but miss the point that it's the most redundant piece of advice ever.

Women say what they want for other people; not themselves. They think that other women should like someone to "just be themselves", but miss the point that it's the most redundant piece of advice ever.

Good thing you dont get alot

all that matters is looks.

I disagree, but of course I can't speak for all women. If a guy acts either quite forward towards me or clingy, I get scared away regardless of their appearance. I would be worried or suspicious that they're trying to use me for sex. I appreciate attention from attractive guys, but it doesn't take much to make me feel uncomfortable that they just want to take from me. (no, I'm not a virgin)

You must be trying to wind me up, because if your statement were true then every attractive guy on the planet would have a girlfriend, and there are a lot of attractive guys! I've turned down/broken up with attractive guys!

Then why are so many ugly people in relationships?

Such overgeneralised statements make my brain pucker.

I come on here to troll, but i always feel guilty afterwards because the responses are often so reasonable. lol!