is this immaturity?

i find it hard to talk to people, well i can talk to them but not have a proper conversation. i get really nervous and cant think of anything to say. i go blank. and say my words wrong. im quite a shy person, i try to be more confident but when im talking to people in particular adults, but i cant think of anything to say when they try to have a conversation with me. im 16 btw
ive talked to my parents about this but they say its cos im immature.

Reply 1

generalebriety

16

I'm not surprised. Most adults think acceptable conversation is something like "You've had your hair cut!". I never quite know what to say when they say this, really. Am I supposed to say "Yes I have", "Well spotted", "Thank you!"? :rolleyes:

Don't worry about it. It's not immaturity, it's shyness, added to the fact that most conversations are *******s. :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

It's not immaturity, it's just shyness. I'm exactly the same as you, I find it incredibly difficult to talk to people and just get my words all jumbled up and speak too quickly and leave awkward gaps in the conversation! It's just being shy. Maybe it would help if you rehearsed possible conversations in your head - just think what you'd say if you were introduced to whoever, what your conversation-starter would be, then you might be more comfortable when talking to people. :smile:

Reply 3

prettyblueeyes

13

Not necessarily immaturity, but that you haven't had the same experience in life etc as most adults and have a lack of common ground on which to base a conversation. it can happen with people of the same age you've not much in common with, so is just as likely with an adult. some people don't feel comfortable making small talk, and there's only so far that can stretch anyway (ie after you've commented on a part of their outfit/appearance, the weather, where you are, what you've been up to, conversation can tend to dry up). It's also shyness as well, and you're probably shy and too self-aware to start talking about any old thing/random conversation because you don't want to look silly. it's something a lot of people suffer with. it doesn't mean you're an immature person, just that you're not naturally comfortable in conversations with people you don't know well. as you get older and have more experiences and meet people, you'll have a wider range of things and experiences to talk about and will probably lose the awkward feeling when talking to elders. don't worry about it, it's perfectly fine to sit and not make conversation at 100mph with a relative stranger, just be friendly and ask them questions and answer as fully as you can (i just mean more than "yeah" or "i dont mind really" which can often come out in place of what you really feel when you're shy). don't worry about it!x

Reply 4

Laika

1

Most conversations are utter forced rubbish anyway so don't worry about it. I can talk for hours with people I am close to but once you get into the realm of 'How's your summer been' and 'How's University going' I go pretty blank.

Reply 5

sarahb

yeh i agre with the others, dont wory about it at all! over time itl get easier, once you get more confident. and the more convos u have, the easier itl get - as the anon above said about rehearsing possible convos, i find it handy to remember convos youve had with others and use the same topics with the next person!! but realy dont wory -its def not immaturity! :smile:

Reply 6

Invocation

12

im like that when meeting new people. its not immaturity though by a long shot. everyone doesnt really know what to say besides the a/s/l.

Reply 7

Chumbaniya

17

Anonymous

i find it hard to talk to people, well i can talk to them but not have a proper conversation. i get really nervous and cant think of anything to say. i go blank. and say my words wrong. im quite a shy person, i try to be more confident but when im talking to people in particular adults, but i cant think of anything to say when they try to have a conversation with me. im 16 btw
ive talked to my parents about this but they say its cos im immature.

That's not immaturity, that's introversion. You'll probably get better with confidence as you get older, but there's nothing immature about being a shy person. A lot of "coversation" that takes place betweens adults and teenagers is mindless rubbish anyway, so it's no wonder you can't think of anything to say.

Reply 8

username47781

20

I wouldn't say its immaturity i was like that at that age

is this immaturity?

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