The Student Room Group

Coming across as desperate or confident?

Hey,
Now this is mainly a question for the guys. When i go out, i love meeting new people so normally if im in a bar/club i go upto lads and start chatting. Now ive met two of my ex boyfriends this way, and now im texting someone that i met this way but was wondering do i come across as desperate? I can honestly say that im not, i just like meeting new people and so far ive only had sucess but i was just wondering what you would be thinking if a girl came upto you? Im happy so far because i personally think its a waste of a night expecting men to come upto me! So all opinions welcome!
xx

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you are what every guy dreams of !!

seriously, continue doing what you do...

its like something out of a carlsberg advert.

you seem friendly not desperate, but if you go up to them and say im single, marry me, thats desperate
You go girl!

There's nothing desperate about going after someone you want. It's not like you're attention whoring and picking up every guy there.
Reply 3
I agree with the above. Not much more to say than that. Your confident not desperate. Most of the time you will be successful coz to be honest most guys (at least i speak for myself) like confident girls
Reply 4
You sound confident and thats what guys look for. I love it when a girl comes to chat with me..
Reply 5
im a girl, but i dont think you look desperate at all. for some reason, ther always seems to be differnt rules when meetin someone in club/pub, and so when in other places this may appear (to some guys) desperate, i genuinely dont think that in a club it does! so i would sugest you carry on doing it! if youve only had suces then why stop!! have fun :smile:
It sounds friendly, not desperate. it depends what you go up and say though, if its really flirty and coming on strong to them when you go up and start talking, then it looks desperate whether its a girl or boy doing it, but if its just chatting and then you get to know eachother after and date, then theres nothing wrong with it. i know you aimed the Q at boys, but im a girl and thought id give my opinion anyway! :biggrin:
Reply 7
Also though, i dont want to appear as full of myself? I am just friendly and i do it a lot, most men are suprisingly shy these days (my ex bf mates used to make me go to girls in clubs and start speaking so they could come over lol) .x
Reply 8
Dear god, if you're even mildly good looking, you're every man's dream.
Reply 9
Anonymous
Also though, i dont want to appear as full of myself? I am just friendly and i do it a lot, most men are suprisingly shy these days (my ex bf mates used to make me go to girls in clubs and start speaking so they could come over lol) .x


no i dont think youd look up yourself at all, just confident and happy with who you are! keep doing it... its obvious the guys like it :wink:
Reply 10
Im quite suprised most men are thinking like this! I thought it might have been off putting as men might want the chase?
Reply 11
Anonymous
Im quite suprised most men are thinking like this! I thought it might have been off putting as men might want the chase?


That's a feminist myth put out by women who want to justify behaving like annoying teenagers...
I think it's a good thing and i think it makes you look confident aslong as you're not TOO flirty. When i go clubbing, i usually get 1-2 girls that come up to me and it's a confidence boost, usually i just chat for like 1 minute then go off with my mates as i always seem to think these girls aren't relationship material.
Reply 13
Confident. I'm male, and wish I could do that...
Reply 14
bobbob
Confident. I'm male, and wish I could do that...


Beer is the secret.
I don't see a good reason not to - no need to maintain the old-fashioned idea that it should be men who make the first move.
wow guys must really be flattered. I'm not saying you only go up to them because you find them attractive. That might be why you do go up to them, but i'm not making presumptions.

But yeah, it's a dream! Normally we have to do all the work to impress but if a girl comes up to you then it'd be pleasantly surprising. Don't be surprised to see a few people not being too conversational though - just out of shock, or not knowing what to say lol! Especially if you're a pretty girl hehe.
Reply 17
With females there are ****loads of mindgames, playing, fronting, etcetc that have to be performed by a guy in order for the girl to show interest. Its a fact; when the girl realises she can get the guy she moves onto the next challenge, so she cant know about you liking her. With Guys however, a girl can just be completley natural and be as forward as she likes, the guy will fall for it.
alasdair_R
That's a feminist myth put out by women who want to justify behaving like annoying teenagers...


lmao

well said, men dont like to chase all the time its takes time away from our TV and playstations :p:
Go for it, i wish i was confident enough to do that :smile: