The Student Room Group

Really Shaken

My uncle who I was close to passed away 3 days back out of the blue. It was a major shock to me and my family. Originally on the news I didnt know how to react. First there was shock then tears and then calmness. I kept it in for 2 days and then on the day of the funeral (yesterday) I got to see hes face and it just really got to me. After the burrial, hes son who I am really close to was really crying and when I embraced him I was crying myself allot.

After that I controlled myself again and went to meet a friend to keep my mind of it. On the way back my mother was telling me exactly what happened and how hes left hes 4 children behind (one being handicapped) and it just really really got to me. I couldnt control myself and for a good 10mins I was broken, crying and shaking.

At night I couldnt sleep propperly. Through today I was generally ok but it has really got to me. I cant relaly concentrate on anything propperly. I originally was going to start revision for my resits this monday but because of the news I have been unable to and right now I am not in the mood to start until monday now. One of my exams are on next friday and I just dont know if few days revision will be enough for a pass.
I also cancelled an interview I had today as I just cant structure everything right now.
I really need to concentrate for these exams as they have to be passed to get into next year, what should I do to get out of this phase.
My close friends have noticed I am not the same but I keep telling them im fine so hopefully I naturally become fine but it aint working at the moment.
:frown: It's going to take time. Everyone's going to react to it differently, so just do what you need to do so you can feel okay.

With regards to the exams, most exam boards take events like this into consideration if you tell them early enough, and nobody should have to revise when they're really not feeling right to.

I hope everything gets better for you, it really is an awful situation ;console;
YOure naturally very shocked Anon, and who wouldnt be, when a person you know dies- it is obviously going to rock your world. However i'm sure youre uncle wouldnt want you to fail your exams and wouldnt want your life to stop because of him. It takes time to grieve someone you love- its only been a few days, time heals everything :smile:
Reply 3
my nan who i was also very close to passed away last tuesday from cancer, so i know how you are feeling. dont wory about feeling like you are doing so, youre simply mourning, when you loose someone you are close to, nothing else can be expected. i would sugest that you dont try to act and pretend your not upset about it, dont think its 'gay' or pathetic if you cry, its natural. death is hard to understnad and accept, and tears, sadness and confusion are expected.
i would also sugest that you tel your friends why you are down, be honest with them. im sure they will understand, and if you have people around you who know whats going on, it makes it a lot easier.
regarding exams, i would sugest you either try to defer, or explain the situation to the-if you do the latter you may get extra points.
apart from that, all i can say is that time is a real healer, and mourning is normal. hope youre ok :smile: thinking of you
Reply 4
I went out last night for an hour or so with a friend to eat. It was good as even though they knew what happened they did make me laugh. I came home feeling much better but my sleep is still being effected like yesterday. I am only getting 5-7 hours sleep. Yesterday I had to sleep through the day as I felt so drained and tired. Last night I went to sleep at 2-3 and I was already awake by 8-9. I just want to get up and feel good again and just carry on!
God, I know how you feel. There isn't anything you can do, it just takes time. Although you might want to read some books (get them from a local library) on how to deal with loss - there are many of those. They'll help you understand your feelings and might make you feel better. Don't try to push your feelings away, that;s not going to do you any good. Take you time. :hugs:
Reply 6
OP your sleep will continue to be rubbish because your mind has a lot to process.

Continue to go out with your friends, if you feel like it. It will take a while to get used to it all again, but you'll feel like yourself again one day.

It took me a year to grieve for my father, and I still have off days, but you get through it. :hugs:
Reply 7
Anonymous
I went out last night for an hour or so with a friend to eat. It was good as even though they knew what happened they did make me laugh. I came home feeling much better but my sleep is still being effected like yesterday. I am only getting 5-7 hours sleep. Yesterday I had to sleep through the day as I felt so drained and tired. Last night I went to sleep at 2-3 and I was already awake by 8-9. I just want to get up and feel good again and just carry on!


my nan died over a week ago and im stil not sleeping properly! its amazing how much deeper it actualy effects you than you realise - you wont realise how much you are realy mising him and its just the way your body wil try to cope with it. things will be going thru your mind, 'why did he have to die?' 'why now?' 'why like that?' etc. as i said before tho, dont try to put it to the side. its great that you could go out with your friends and have a laugh! also, when remembering and thinking about him, try think of all the good times you had, and all the lasting memories you will have of your time with him.