The Student Room Group

Worth Trying To Win Her?

Complicated this one -
She was with a guy for 2 years and I was with her for 3 months. According to her shes fallen out with him but still cares for him but doesnt love him.
Her family wants her to have an arranged marriage with him even though they know she doesnt love him.
We deicded not to be together while were away and yesterday she told me how she thought it was a waste after all we shared.
I texted her today asking if she meant it. She said she did but she knows we wont be able to have a relationship or have anything we did in the past, but would like to remian friends.
I told her friends was out of the question as I still love her so the best thing to do sometimes is let the ones u love go.
I told her I thought I won her heart and she would be willing to try and fight for it but I guess I was wrong.
She said I have won her heart but shes trying to be sensiable and its going to be really hard to stop talking but hopefully she doesnt get drawn into contacting me. She is not happy being apart but doesn't want to mess her studdies up for her final year. She reather sort it now rather then later. Its the only thing that makes sense right now and we have to choose.

I told her that when ur with me your only going to get happiness and I even thought as far as studyng to gether when were both back. I said shes making things bigger then need to be and because ur in another country it doesnt mean nothing even with others. If we had somthing special and rare, u kno very well hardly anything can stop it so stop living a lie and just take each day as it comes. I know u want to but the future is stopping you. Have no regrets and come to my awaiting arms!

I said it as open as I could be now and ive got no reply.

This is the last shot now and if not then it will be time to say bye.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

not much you can do unfortunatly when shes being put in an arranged marriage, it sucks i know but unfortunatly nothing can be done. Unless there is a way of contacting someone over it to get the marriage stopped maybe

Reply 2

Carl1982
not much you can do unfortunatly when shes being put in an arranged marriage, it sucks i know but unfortunatly nothing can be done. Unless there is a way of contacting someone over it to get the marriage stopped maybe

I don't want to marry her but share some good times like we previously did. Anything more would be a bonus!

Reply 3

I feel sorry for you dude! Heres what i think about it all; if she has said that she doesnt you should be together now, i think you should respect that. Although its extremely hard to accept, you cant/shouldnt presurse her into a rel that she doesnt think she should be in, whether you love her or not. If you are meant to be together, it will come naturally when you both want it and both think its the right time. However i understand that if you dont act now she may end up marrying the guy she doesnt like. However, at the end of the day thats her choice, no1 elses, and again, you gota respect that.

You also said that if you cant be together then you want to completely let her go and not even have contact with her ... be careful, if you love her surely youd want her in your life, one way or another? you can stil have a close deep friendship. wouldnt you rather have this than nothing? if you loose contact, from what i can see, you loose all chance of gettin back with her in the future when the time may be right!

anyway, theyre my thoughts! feel free to disagre :smile:

Reply 4

Well I still didnt get a reply and I sent a text again saying 'your comment?' but nothing. I dont know how to take her silence, either shes decided not to talk to me from now on, has allot of thinking to do or is busy.

Reply 5

dont chase her anymore, youve done all you can. she may just be busy and not have her fone with her! the balls in her cout now... you cant keep runin and getin the ball back just to throw it back again!

Reply 6

sarahb
dont chase her anymore, youve done all you can. she may just be busy and not have her fone with her! the balls in her cout now... you cant keep runin and getin the ball back just to throw it back again!


Her reply - I know I will but thats just temporary and thats my issue. U know I wud want us to work but its nowhere near feasible.

Reply 7

Anonymous
Her reply - I know I will but thats just temporary and thats my issue. U know I wud want us to work but its nowhere near feasible.


the option i can see now is to leave it... its guna be hard, but i see no other option :frown: im sory. but realy do think twice about cuting her out of your life

Reply 8

sarahb
the option i can see now is to leave it... its guna be hard, but i see no other option :frown: im sory. but realy do think twice about cuting her out of your life


She send another one - I cant let this happen and if it does plz stop me. We both know wats rite. Lets just keep it simple plz. I know hoe I get. I will mess 3rd year n cock things.

Reply 9

Anonymous
She send another one - I cant let this happen and if it does plz stop me. We both know wats rite. Lets just keep it simple plz. I know hoe I get. I will mess 3rd year n cock things.


sory im not completely understanding that... is she sayin she wants to be with you and keep it simple because if its not then she wil mes up her 3rd year?
or.. that she cant be with you because it wil be too complicated and will mess up her 3rd year?

Reply 10

sarahb
sory im not completely understanding that... is she sayin she wants to be with you and keep it simple because if its not then she wil mes up her 3rd year?
or.. that she cant be with you because it wil be too complicated and will mess up her 3rd year?


She means she cant get into a relationship wid me and if she does she will mess up her 3rd and final year.

Reply 11

man that sucks. wel as i said orignaly, it looks as though you just have to acept and respect her wishes :frown: im so sorry

Reply 12

sarahb
man that sucks. wel as i said orignaly, it looks as though you just have to acept and respect her wishes :frown: im so sorry

I tried again as shes clearly showing still she wants me by saing I will only give her happiness and do all it takes to achieve it. No reply since then.
Yeah probably right not wroth fighting for, but clearly in person it will be another story.

Reply 13

Anonymous
I tried again as shes clearly showing still she wants me by saing I will only give her happiness and do all it takes to achieve it. No reply since then.
Yeah probably right not wroth fighting for, but clearly in person it will be another story.


yeh thats true... although be careful, you dont want to hurt yourself anymore than you are aready. and also realy dont presurise her into it -if she wants to be in a rel with you, she needs to make that decision by herself - although she may appear to want to be in one, and you think she wants to be, at the end of the day -its her choice! let us know how it goes when you meet her in person to talk about it :smile: good luck mate

Reply 14

Anonymous
I tried again as shes clearly showing still she wants me by saing I will only give her happiness and do all it takes to achieve it. No reply since then.
Yeah probably right not wroth fighting for, but clearly in person it will be another story.

aother one just now - Pls don't tempt me, its already hard enough.

Reply 15

Anonymous
aother one just now - Pls don't tempt me, its already hard enough.


its actualy realy confusing, its almost as though she wants you to tempt her! however, if she genuinly means it then you should leave her alone ... but i dont know her... so u think she is being genuine or do you think she wants you to chase her??

Reply 16

sarahb
its actualy realy confusing, its almost as though she wants you to tempt her! however, if she genuinly means it then you should leave her alone ... but i dont know her... so u think she is being genuine or do you think she wants you to chase her??


I dunno as she said prior to this the same thing then when my uncle passed away this week she text me allot and when I didnt reply she said im worried about u.
Then on msn she spoke allot and I said to her I dont want pitty as my uncle died and she was like im not getting close cause of that but because she has more time for the internet now.
So its hard to tell.

Reply 17

Anonymous
I dunno as she said prior to this the same thing then when my uncle passed away this week she text me allot and when I didnt reply she said im worried about u.
Then on msn she spoke allot and I said to her I dont want pitty as my uncle died and she was like im not getting close cause of that but because she has more time for the internet now.
So its hard to tell.


ooh your also the uncle guy!! (youl prob remember but im the one whos nan died :frown: ) anyway, thats beside the point!!

hmm... i sugest you talk to her in person then, get her to tel you straight what she is thinking and whats going on.. how does that sound?

Reply 18

sarahb
ooh your also the uncle guy!! (youl prob remember but im the one whos nan died :frown: ) anyway, thats beside the point!!

hmm... i sugest you talk to her in person then, get her to tel you straight what she is thinking and whats going on.. how does that sound?


Yeah, im really sorry to hear about your gran. Hope ur feeling better.
Im just trying to sort all issues out now, seems as though life is too short to waste.

Ive texted her - saying ill see you at the airport as I hate doing this by text. Right now revise hard and give me that smile of yours.
No point causing a mess again.

We must of discussed this over 5-6 times and we keep going in circles as before I wanted to sort it as it was causing confusion and now she wants it sorted.

Reply 19

Anonymous
Yeah, im really sorry to hear about your gran. Hope ur feeling better.
Im just trying to sort all issues out now, seems as though life is too short to waste.

Ive texted her - saying ill see you at the airport as I hate doing this by text. Right now revise hard and give me that smile of yours.
No point causing a mess again.

We must of discussed this over 5-6 times and we keep going in circles as before I wanted to sort it as it was causing confusion and now she wants it sorted.


hope your feeling beter about your uncle too. life is very short!!! too short! that text sounded good, its just a waiting game now, but dont wory about it. what will be will be :smile: i hope it all goes well, im sure it will :wink: