Best friend&#x27;s ex

yes i would get over it and back right off, how would your friend feel if she sees you making a move on her boyfriend, you would almost certainly lose both of them.

Reply 2

OP

I know she wouldn't be too impressed...however I wasn't ever planning on 'making a move' on him as such, I'm far too shy!
I was just saying that it looks like me and him are getting on really really well and I really do enjoy his company so if it WAS to go further in any case, should I let it or should I stop it?
She was the one who dumped him though...

Reply 3

yo-sup-man

ur lose alot of respect from alot of people..

my gf tells me there is a girls rule , were a friend must never get involed in a guys that there friends have been with.

I suggest you leave it, Ur end up losing them both

Reply 4

oh sorry they split i didnt read that bit, but still you risk losing your best friend in this, its down to you but i would say it is not adviseable

Reply 5

newDana

If i were you i'd keep my distance, is it worth losing your best friend over a guy?

But if you do keep getting closer with this guy, to the point where something might happen you should talk to your friend about it first. At least then she'll know that you've thought about her feelings and that you respect her and have been honest.

I've been the best friend in this situation and if my friend had come to me first saying "i really like your ex, something could happen, would you hate me if i got with him" i'd never have said "no you can't be with him", it's lies that ruin friendships, not honesty.

But if you can live without him then i think the simplest solution and the one that will cause less heartache in the long run is to just keep away from him.

Reply 6

think also it depends on why they broke up

Reply 7

OP

Right okay...update on this.
Turns out he did feel the same way but didn't think I did but the other day, all the confusion between us was clarified and we made it clear to each other that we liked each other. Then we kissed alot...and I felt quite bad afterwards thinking about how my best mate would feel but then he said that he didn't belong to her anymore so what was the problem?
I still feel guilty and in the end just told him to think about things carefully and whether he is just looking for comfort after such a long term relationship.
He is on holiday now so it gives us both some thinking time but what do I do if he still feels the same way when he comes back?
By the way, I told my friend that he likes me but didn't tell her about what more happened between us. She seemed okay about it but I dunno how she'd take it if she knew how much I like him too.
What do I do! She clearly doesn't want to be with him anymore as she broke up with him but still...I dunno...

Reply 8

its gonna come out in the end and 9 times out 10 you will lose your best friend, it is more likely he might be looking for comfort after breaking up with his girlfriend

Reply 9

freshestkid

i thought girls were proper into that 'chicks before dicks' thing they say - anywho, you will probably lose your mate, even tho she split up with him you have pretty much ****ed her over. Good luck i spose.

Reply 10

OP

But I've been honest with her! I told her he likes me and I like him back...I just didn't tell her we kissed.
Does it make that much of a difference?

Reply 11

freshestkid

its just principles, or rules, or whatever you wanna call it. I wouldn't do it to a friend if i were in your position, and if i was in your friend's position i wouldnt be too keen on it happening, and mos def i'd seriously reconsider how good a friend it was who'd pull a stunt like that on me.

Reply 12

it will make a difference to be honest that you have not told her you kissed him as i said when that comes out be prepared to lose her

Reply 13

ZanyZanny

yeah it does make a difference just be totally honest with your friend and tell her what happened
the guys on here are saying you will lose your mate but if you are honest and she really is a good mate then she will accept the fact that he has moved on
my friend is currently dating one of my exes and she just came out and told me and yes at first i was really freaked out and i couldnt get my head round it but then i realised what a crap mate i was being as i saw how upset my friend got when she saw she was making me uncomfortable in the end i just got over it and my friend and my ex are still going out now 8 months later

Reply 14

OP

I don't understand!
I have been so honest with her and I've seriously not stopped thinking about how she would feel if she knew we'd kissed. I feel like utter scum for it. But then on the other hand, I keep thinking about what he said and that people aren't each others' property otherwise how is he ever supposed to move on?
It's not like I've lured him out of her arms, it was a really unexpected thing to happen but now it has, I can hardly stop liking him and make him stop liking me can I?

Reply 15

lala_land

Anonymous

I don't understand!
I have been so honest with her and I've seriously not stopped thinking about how she would feel if she knew we'd kissed. I feel like utter scum for it. But then on the other hand, I keep thinking about what he said and that people aren't each others' property otherwise how is he ever supposed to move on?
It's not like I've lured him out of her arms, it was a really unexpected thing to happen but now it has, I can hardly stop liking him and make him stop liking me can I?

No you can't, so if you wanna be with him that bad it's fine but be prepared to maybe lose your mate for it

Reply 16

freshestkid

Fair play, but do you not get how she might feel betrayed? There's moving on, and there's hooking up with your ex's mates pretty much straight away. Different things. You can't stop your feelings, but you could weigh it up, think about your priorities (god i sound like my dad) and then maybe go '****, bad timing, maybe next time eh? Woulda been fun but we shouldn't do that do her'. Or not. Your call, just my opinion.

Reply 17

Creative02