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University & guilt
Don't really know where to post this, but htis is only place that I can post as anonymous.
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
sounds to me like your mums struggling to come to terms with the fact youve grown up, she doesnt like you going to your dad and then says you cant leave him? its abit contradictory.
with the money issue just tell her you will find a way to cope and wont be begging her for money (i assume you wont)
other than that theres very little you can do but if you want to go you should still go. do it for yourself you cant spend life trying to keep everyone happy all the time
with the money issue just tell her you will find a way to cope and wont be begging her for money (i assume you wont)
other than that theres very little you can do but if you want to go you should still go. do it for yourself you cant spend life trying to keep everyone happy all the time
Anonymous
Don't really know where to post this, but htis is only place that I can post as anonymous.
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
You've got to realise that you're liivng your life, and you should be your own number 1 priority.
Yes you will be leaving your family, and will probably come out with a large debt, but if that is what you want to do, don't let anyone else stop you. It's only 3 of the 90 or so years you'll live for anyway.
On your Dad, surely you wouldn't be leaving him on his own as your Mum and sister could help look after him?
Yes you will be leaving your family, and will probably come out with a large debt, but if that is what you want to do, don't let anyone else stop you. It's only 3 of the 90 or so years you'll live for anyway.
On your Dad, surely you wouldn't be leaving him on his own as your Mum and sister could help look after him?
hmm tricky! i supose you should weigh up the pros and cons of going;
(as i see them...)
pros;
-Get an education
-Get away from sis+mum arguing
-Get some independence and meet new friends
cons;
-leave family (altho you can visit as often as every weekend if needs be)
-leave home
-upset mum
... i dont realy know which you value most, so it is hard for me to give a straight answer. but at the end of the day, remember that uni could change your life - it could change the job you get, even the guy you marry! its a big decision to go, however without family support its hard. have you tried talking to you mum calmly? sitting her down and saying how important it is to you? if not, how about considerin going to uni closer to home? so you can live at home and comute?
(as i see them...)
pros;
-Get an education
-Get away from sis+mum arguing
-Get some independence and meet new friends
cons;
-leave family (altho you can visit as often as every weekend if needs be)
-leave home
-upset mum
... i dont realy know which you value most, so it is hard for me to give a straight answer. but at the end of the day, remember that uni could change your life - it could change the job you get, even the guy you marry! its a big decision to go, however without family support its hard. have you tried talking to you mum calmly? sitting her down and saying how important it is to you? if not, how about considerin going to uni closer to home? so you can live at home and comute?
my step-dad tried to make me feel guilty about going too. it was more about him wanting me to stay close to the family home. but i thought, **** it. if there was one time in your life to be selfish, this is it. at the end of day going to uni is to set you up for your life. dont make a decision that may not only make you feel crappy but may end up runining your life. just because you are going to uni it doesn't mean you are abandoing your family. come on, think about it realistically, were you ever going to stay at home until the rest of your mother/fathers lives? probably not. you were most likely always going to move out. the difference is, moving out now is an important part of your life and one which will ultimately play a major role in the rest of your life. to put it bluntly, your life does not begin when your parents' lives end. you have to make your own decision in life. and to me, it seems like your mum is being a bit selfish (and i guess, she also doesn't want to "lose" you).
Your mother must come to terms that your growing up and that you would not be hanging about at home for the rest of your life. Personally I think you should go to university and enjoy the experience and make a career out of your self. The worst feeling you can experience is regret of not going because of your mother’s requirements
i still have an entire school year to go and my parents are like *dont go...do you really think youll make it?? stay close to home....etc*
talk to her about it. i mean you will need to leave sooner or later. its your life. you wont be home with her till your like 90....
talk to her about it. i mean you will need to leave sooner or later. its your life. you wont be home with her till your like 90....
Anonymous
Don't really know where to post this, but htis is only place that I can post as anonymous.
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
Argh, I don't get why moms can't just want the best for their kids
I'm in the opposite situation - my mom hates having me around and can't wait to get me packing lol.
Anonymous
Don't really know where to post this, but htis is only place that I can post as anonymous.
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
you've got to go to uni, you've come this far already! i'm sure your dad will be fine and like you say its only an hour away. so you can still go home at weekends. about your mum making you feel guilty most mums/parents do it. mine did, but i was determined to go off to uni! its because she is afraid of you flying the nest. but your gonna have to do it one day, so why not now?
Anonymous
Don't really know where to post this, but htis is only place that I can post as anonymous.
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
Basically, I'm supossed to be going to Uni in September, but I'm unsure as to whether I should go or not. My mum is making me feel really guilty about going away to Uni. Anyone elses parents do this?
She makes me feel guilty about not staying, even though the uni I'm going to is only just over 1hr away from home. I think my mum doesnt want me to go, because it will just be her & my sister at home, and they argue all the time.
Alao she goes on about money, and how I will be asking her for lots of help financially, and that I will just finish uni with a big debt. I don't know what to do, or what to say to her.
She's also making me feel guilty about leaving my dad, which is really getting me down. My dad doesnt live with us, and my parents are seperated. My dad has ME, and also suffers from anxiety and depression. I used to be a young career and look after my dad, but then he got a lot worse and was admitted to psychiatric uni. Now he is back at his house & has home help, and try & go see him most weekends. My mum gets really annoyed with me when I go see my dad cos she knows how much it upsets me, but now she making me feel guilty about going to uni, and leaving my dad to cope on his own.
What do I do? Any sugestions or help, cos it's really making me feel down
tell them to bog-off. They've lived their lives and have made their own decisions and you're now making yours. at the end of the day, you're only an hour away. they can see you whenever.
That is a really hard situation, and good luck, but the only advice I can offer is to Follow you heart, because at the end of the day, you will have to be able look back on life and feel that you did what you thought was right. You will have to be able to live with yoursefl in a way that noone else will, so make the decision based on what you feel is/ will be best for you in the long run.
Your dad would want you to do whatever is best, and your mum, being single, probably just feels that you are the older one and she'll be alone without you.
Deep down, this is going to better your life. Just reassure your mum and tell her you are there when she needs you, and your dad etc.
Deep down, this is going to better your life. Just reassure your mum and tell her you are there when she needs you, and your dad etc.
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