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How much should a 12 year old know?

I found a chat log the other day where my 12 year old sister was having an EXTREMELY explicit conversation with a 16 year old lad. She'd lied andtold him she was 14, and had been on webcam with him. There was some stuff said up till then thatwas bad, but excusable. Then, he'd gone offline or something and she'd sent him an awful lot of messages about what she'd like him to do. My mum is under the impression that she couldn't know these things without some kind of sexual contact, but my dad thinks it's just how kids these days are. She's been banned from using MSN now,and it's been deleted from the computer (It could be a peadofile next time!!). My question is though, how much would a typical 12 year old know? Is it likely she's had sex? I alwyas thought she was very innocent, but one of her friends supposedly gave a boy a "hand job" on the bus the other week. Opinions???

Reply 1

so_this_is_sam

3

I guess it's different with each kid though, depending on the types of people they hang around with and what they're exposed to. I'll always remember in year seven when i was just 11 years old and sitting in art class when these 2 girls said to me across the table, "so..have you ever been fingered?" and i was totally clueless to what they were on about, so they went on to explain in great detail about all these sexual things etc! So my education began at about 11, (i mean i knew about sex before tht, but not really foreplay) it's just the way the world is nowadays, sex is everywhere and kids are being constantly exposed to it. Quite sad really! xx

Reply 2

sarahb

at the age of 12 i didnt know too much, however i know that kids are knowing more and more at a younger age now. i have a cousin whos 11 and knows a LOT! ... have you or your rents talked to her? asked her outright? at the age of 12 i doubt shes had sexual contact... however, i dont know her friends, and who she hangs around with. information about sex and other sexual things is easily accesible on the net, she may have go it to try impres this guy ?? i duno! maybe she has had sexual contact... i would ask her!

Reply 3

bedbug

14

I know a girl who lost her virginity at 11. Some people start early, but it seems that kids nowadays are more aware earlier than they were a few years ago, it's scary.

Reply 4

username47781

20

squirly

I know a girl who lost her virginity at 11. Some people start early, but it seems that kids nowadays are more aware earlier than they were a few years ago, it's scary.

Yeah i agree its frightening what 11 and 12 year olds know and do today, i sure didn't know this much at 12.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

She was only 12 last month. It was the words shewas using though... I was cringing reading it! My parents have talked to her, she denied even havingthe conversation, blaming it on someone hacking into her msn account. So she's not going to admit to any of us if she is being physical with anyone. She's my baby sister and I really hate the thought that someone could be taking advantage of her.

Reply 6

Pseudomuse

1

Anonymous

I found a chat log the other day where my 12 year old sister was having an EXTREMELY explicit conversation with a 16 year old lad. She'd lied andtold him she was 14, and had been on webcam with him. There was some stuff said up till then thatwas bad, but excusable. Then, he'd gone offline or something and she'd sent him an awful lot of messages about what she'd like him to do. My mum is under the impression that she couldn't know these things without some kind of sexual contact, but my dad thinks it's just how kids these days are. She's been banned from using MSN now,and it's been deleted from the computer (It could be a peadofile next time!!). My question is though, how much would a typical 12 year old know? Is it likely she's had sex? I alwyas thought she was very innocent, but one of her friends supposedly gave a boy a "hand job" on the bus the other week. Opinions???

a 12 year old shouldn't know as much as what they do now! unfortunatly they do.

about the girl giving a hand job on the bus. i personally wouldn't belive to. kids exagerate and things can blow up out of proportion. i mean the girl could have just brushed up against the boy by acciedent! i remember when i was younger my cousin said she had sex with a boy in the playground (she was only 9) when her mum asked her what she meant, she said 'well we had a kiss'.
things can get misinterpretted!

any way it was the best thing though banning her from msn because your right, it could be a paedophile next time. what was she doing talking to a 16 year old for that matter?

Reply 7

~CAROLINE~

11

I doubt she's had sex or anything but its not unusual for people that age to know stuff! My dads gfs kid whos 9/10 is really knowledgable, its really scary at times! He attempted to proposition 1 of my friends whose over double his age! She was like omfg! He's really immature about his knowledge! It all stems from a sex ed talk at his school! It seems funny but it can get quite out of hand if he's being inappropriate, he mostly directs it at drastically older girls tho so at least they will say something!

My advice to the OP is just keep a look out for her tho, just watch she's not getting in with the wrong crowd etc!

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Thats the thing, the rumour was that this girl gavea boy a blow job. But there was other people around, my sister included, who said otherwise. Making me think it maybe wasn't exagerated? I know her friends like to drink sometimes too, at least, they like tomake out (on their beboaccounts!) that they do!!

And what wasbad,was her language. How much DETAIL she seemedto know. You may think i'm exagerating, but I showed agood friend and the reaction Igot was "Thats not sobad.." "OH MY GOD". I really can't go into detail about what she said,but... They're things I didn't know till Iwasabout 16/17 when I was starting to get a bit more intimate with boys.

I really wantto find this boy and give him a right smack forbeing sucha pervert. I just hope its only ever beenover msn...

Reply 9

dh00001

16

i think i knew quite alot at the age of 12 (well the basic mechanics of things) dont forget she will have recieved sex ed at that age so she will know of sex and the likes.
i think the most important question is what kind of things was she asking for?
its possible shes heard of these things but doesnt understand and is trying to find out.
it may be best to talk with her, find out what she knows and if shes doing and go from there.

Reply 10

silverbolt

19

my personal opinion is that at 12 kids should be properly informed about sex, condoms STD's etc, and also told not to be doing it until they are ready,

at 12 though to be having those kind of convo's isnt really right i dont think, but if thats all shes doing be grateful thugh your parents need to impress on her the dangers, I dont mean shout at her but sit her down and explain it all properly

Reply 11

pink_lucie

14

omg...i was so innocent at 12....till about 15 in fact.....then it all went down hill form there.

Sit down and talk to her about sex, protection, std's etc and how IMPORTANT virginity is etc. Thats what my sister did and it helped alot, cos if no ones there to tell you you have nothing to go by if you get me?

Reply 12

CheesyBeans

1

I remember when I was 11/12 and even though we all knew what sex was and quite a bit of all the other stuff (ie foreplay) we were still all innocent. The most we all did was spin the bottle and we were all really shy about that too. The girls still acted like boys in the respect we wernt all that bothered about hair and make up and we still all played football and got muddy and climbed trees etc

When I was in year 10 and 11 I looked at the first year kids and listened to the things they were saying and I couldn't believe they were so young. They were all talking about the people they'd had sex with, sucked off or got a hand job from over the weekend when they were bladdered on the park.

It's not nice to know that kids know as much as they do, especially those you are related to/close to, but that's just how things are now. Kids are "growing up" faster all the time.

Reply 13

goldfiiisheee

i think younger siblings start earlier than older ones cuz they like see it done. well not in that way but they hear more about their older siblings / friends ofthem etc.
they get expossed easier to it i guess

dunno....

Reply 14

Ludivine

This thread is shocking. If my little sister even knows about this stuff in two years time (when she's 12), I will be seriously saddened. If I read that she'd done something like that.. my reaction would be seriously unfavourable, let's say. Actually, I'd go crazy. Thankfully she still is in that "boys smell bad and I hate them" phase, god love it.

12 year olds are young kids. :frown:

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

To be honest, thinking about it, I did exactly the same at age 12! I went into chat rooms and pretended to be 14 (thinking 14 was SO old and mature!) and I'd 'cyber' with boys... even though I didn't really have a clue what I was saying.

I knew quite a lot, but maybe not the proper ins and outs... like how it really happens and that! Just because she 'knows' doesn't mean she's sexually active or anything... I 'knew' at age 12, but I wasn't 'doing it' until 16 or 17!

She's probably just curious and thinks its 'cool' to know and be able to say these things!

Reply 16

*titanium*

12

People find out about this stuff once they go to secondary school, in Primary school no one really knows about it, in secondary informaiton gets passed down from older years, i remember in year 7 i start hearing about blowjobs and fingering etc

I remember in year 8 i hear some one talking about 'dildos' i didnt know what they where, it sounded more like some kind of animal (dodo? :p:

) but then i was told what it was.

But then even now we find out about new words, like spit roast lol

The internet is the reaosn people find out about it at a younger age.

Reply 17

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

14

Anonymous

I found a chat log the other day where my 12 year old sister was having an EXTREMELY explicit conversation with a 16 year old lad. She'd lied andtold him she was 14, and had been on webcam with him. There was some stuff said up till then thatwas bad, but excusable. Then, he'd gone offline or something and she'd sent him an awful lot of messages about what she'd like him to do. My mum is under the impression that she couldn't know these things without some kind of sexual contact, but my dad thinks it's just how kids these days are. She's been banned from using MSN now,and it's been deleted from the computer (It could be a peadofile next time!!). My question is though, how much would a typical 12 year old know? Is it likely she's had sex? I alwyas thought she was very innocent, but one of her friends supposedly gave a boy a "hand job" on the bus the other week. Opinions???

Kids are under sooo much pressure to have sex these days its crazy....if her friends have started to do sexual acts on boys maybe its time to sit her down and ask her.....but yeah kids know so much about sex more so than we ever really would have.....like at 12 would anyone have dared go out and have sex? or give a boy a hand job? :confused:

I don't think so....times are changing and for the worst.....

Reply 18

Sticky

squirly

I know a girl who lost her virginity at 11. Some people start early, but it seems that kids nowadays are more aware earlier than they were a few years ago, it's scary.

At 12 I'd already seen a few hardcore porn films around a friend's house, had found my parent's sex book and read it from front to back. I don't think it's because you're "aware" of what a penis and a vagina are and what you can do with them, that you're necessarily ready to have sex and that's the mistake that so many people make. Sure, if I'd had the opportunity at that age to have sex I would have gone for it but luckily I didn't. There's a lot more to sex and relationships than knowing the technicalities. Most people who are going through puberty are physically able to have sex, but there's so much more to learn...

You can have sex at 13 or 14 but it doesn't necessarily mean that you understand why you end up pregnant, or with an STI or why you feel a certain way afterwards or why a partner starts saying stuff about you and gives you a reputation, yet you did everything you thought you were supposed to.

Reply 19

Sticky

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

Kids are under sooo much pressure to have sex these days its crazy....if her friends have started to do sexual acts on boys maybe its time to sit her down and ask her.....but yeah kids know so much about sex more so than we ever really would have.....like at 12 would anyone have dared go out and have sex? or give a boy a hand job? :confused:

I don't think so....times are changing and for the worst.....

Knowledge and awareness are a good thing. The negative aspect of all this is actually the ignorance of kids. Sure the 12 year old could give a handjob. She would know how to. But does she have the maturity to deal with a situation like that? Does she know how to deal with being intimate with another person or even worse an older person?

How much should a 12 year old know?

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