What have i done?

Anonymous #1

This will be long so i'm just gonna bullet point it all:

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Me and my bf have been together for 4 and a half years now

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My bf has gone on holiday, has not contacted me since monday (01.08.2006)

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when he promised to contact me often. I am annoyed at that and worried.

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Last nite, i went to a mate's party.

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One of my guy mate's brother, whom i've meet a couple of times before and i talk to on the phone (just as friends) was there. This guy mate that i just referred to is like a brother to me.

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So, my mate's brother and i got talking a lot and we were both a little tipsy.

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He suggested going on a walk, which i thought was no harm as i only considered him as a friend and just a friend.

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We went on a stroll then he grabbed hold of my hand.

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Still, i thought he was just being friendly, so we carried on walking and i thought nothing of it.

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Then, we got to this quiet street where he put his hands on my hips and kissed me.

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As soon as i realised what was happening, i tried pushing him off me but it was of no use.

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I struggled my way out of it but on our walk back, he tried it again 3 times!

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He said he fancies me but he's my mate's brother! and i only consider him as a mate.

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He also has a gf but he said he didnt regret it.

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He keeps texting me saying "hi, how r u?...." but i don't know what to do! i feel like such a cow.

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Should i tell my bf? in the past when he's hidden stuff from me, i yelled at him saying not to hide anything from me and he hasnt, no matter how bad it was (although it wasnt this bad). i'd be a hypocrite if i dont

Reply 1

Russell_G

tell your bf. honestly is always the best policy, regardless of the situation - and if it wasn't your fault (sounds like it isn't) then he should understand. i'd also recommend spending a little time away from the guy who fancies you - let it all chill down for a bit.

Reply 2

street

1

honesty is the best policy. your bound to let it slip at one point anyway.

Reply 3

jb_sweden

Maybe you've learned what it means when a guy asks you to join him for a walk at a party...?

Reply 4

Russell_G

that's a good point. guys at parties don't generally like walking, they prefer kissing.

Reply 5

goldfiiisheee

tell him.
but in person when he gets back.
good luck

Reply 6

kizer

15

Tell your bf so he can beat the **** out of the ****er.

Also, tell his girlfriend so she know what a **** he is too.

Reply 7

WokSz

17

I hope you've learned your lesson now. Never go out alone with a guy you don't know that well. In general, guys don't care much about walking, they just want action.

Reply 8

rawkingpunkster

like she said, they were friends. she just thought he wanted a chat, harmless.

I suggest you tell your bf; after all, a 4yr relationship should have a lot of trust and love. I'm sure he'll understand. :smile:

Reply 9

WokSz

17

rawkingpunkster

like she said, they were friends. she just thought he wanted a chat, harmless.

I suggest you tell your bf; after all, a 4yr relationship should have a lot of trust and love. I'm sure he'll understand. :smile:

yes, but when they're both tipsied and it's the first time she has actually met the guy face to face?

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

WokSz

yes, but when they're both tipsied and it's the first time she has actually met the guy face to face?

no...i think i did say that we've met a couple of times before...once at the park when my guy mate invited everyone to play football and then once at another party, where we were talking quite a lot as well...i've also spoken to him on the fone a couple of times...he's been texting me today as if nothing has even happened...i want to tell my bf because i love him to bits, i care about him so much but i feel that hes gonna end it with me because i've moaned at him in the past for kissing his girl mates on the cheek because it made me feel uncomfortable...

and yes, i have learnt my mistake...i shouldnt have trusted him, let alone anyway but i honestly thought it was just going to be a harmless walk... before that we were having a conversation about cars and holidays, which seemed pretty harmless to me!

Reply 11

jb_sweden

If it comes to his attention through any other ways than you telling him intentionally - he'll end it.

Reply 12

Haineko

dont hide it..never ever. it will make things worse. the basis of a relationship is trust, and if u dont have that you have nothing.

tell him, and be prepared that he'll get mad/pissed or even ignore you for a while. But at least you laid down your cards honestly and u did the right thing.

then its up to him whether he wants to forgive you and work out of this together or not.

(sorry for sounding a tad harsh)

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

your intentions were right at the end of the day so I guess its alright, although you were a bit naive to be honest

Reply 14

Mike_Davies

Its better to tell your bf on your terms than let it slip at some point whether it be accidental or in a heated arguement! Although it could be worse and he could find out off someone else and that would annoy him as you didn't tell him and whenever you find something out off someone who has just 'heared about it' it always sounds worse!

Reply 15

Triplet1

13

Tell him. It wasnt your fault the guy was coming on to you not the other way around, so just tell him the truth an i'm sure all should be fine between you and him.
Hope everything goes ok.

:smile:

Reply 16

Dragon24

17

If you want your relationship to end then tell your boyfriend cos that's what's likely to happen. You have realised it was a mistake so forget it - will only open a can of worms telling him and he will think he can't trust you.

Has he gone on holiday with family or friends? Ask either who is back home if they have heard he is safe. Text him if he has took his phone asking if he alright as you haven't heard. He's probably waiting for you to text!

If this guy is willing to cheat on his gf he'll do it to you.