What can I do to stop him from tarnishing me?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
I need some unbiased advice please.

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years now, our relationship itself has no problems aside from this. We even have marriage on the cards and a future planned out together. The only issue is, he has an unruly pathological liar as a cousin.
Since the beginning of our relationship his cousin has fancied me, and when I rejected his advances he's made it like his life's mission to destroy me and my boyfriends relationship at all costs.

The thing is, my boyfriends cousin is not only a liar but also a thief, he has stolen clothes, shoes, video games even socks from my boyfriend. He has been kicked out of his home more times than I can count (his cousin is younger than me and my boyfriend). He has plagued my boyfriend with lies about having sex with me since the beginning of our relationship.

Which is actually logistically impossible seeing as me and my boyfriend are in a long-distance relationship. But we see each other regularly, and his cousin is claiming to have hooked up with me during those times.
I spent some time staying at my boyfriend's sister's house, and his cousin is claiming to have visited the house at night and slept with me.

My boyfriend says he trusts me and knows his cousin is a proven liar, but he still questions me about it. To be honest, I would be upset too, if my cousin was making such claims against my boyfriend. His cousins claims are putting a strain on our relationship. If I so much as mention his cousin, my boyfriend raises his eyebrows up and I can tell he is wondering if there is an element of truth to his cousins claims.

Today his cousin has claimed to have had sex with me yet again. He won't get over the fact that I don't like him. He also won't get over the fact that me and my boyfriend have a good relationship. I love my boyfriend, I have never ever cheated. I would never betray him especially not with his own relative.

How can I stop his cousin from making up such horrible false accusations/claims?
Sorry for the long post.
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littlesocksx
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#2
Report 7 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I need some unbiased advice please.

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years now, our relationship itself has no problems aside from this. We even have marriage on the cards and a future planned out together. The only issue is, he has an unruly pathological liar as a cousin.
Since the beginning of our relationship his cousin has fancied me, and when I rejected his advances he's made it like his life's mission to destroy me and my boyfriends relationship at all costs.

The thing is, my boyfriends cousin is not only a liar but also a thief, he has stolen clothes, shoes, video games even socks from my boyfriend. He has been kicked out of his home more times than I can count (his cousin is younger than me and my boyfriend). He has plagued my boyfriend with lies about having sex with me since the beginning of our relationship.

Which is actually logistically impossible seeing as me and my boyfriend are in a long-distance relationship. But we see each other regularly, and his cousin is claiming to have hooked up with me during those times.
I spent some time staying at my boyfriend's sister's house, and his cousin is claiming to have visited the house at night and slept with me.

My boyfriend says he trusts me and knows his cousin is a proven liar, but he still questions me about it. To be honest, I would be upset too, if my cousin was making such claims against my boyfriend. His cousins claims are putting a strain on our relationship. If I so much as mention his cousin, my boyfriend raises his eyebrows up and I can tell he is wondering if there is an element of truth to his cousins claims.

Today his cousin has claimed to have had sex with me yet again. He won't get over the fact that I don't like him. He also won't get over the fact that me and my boyfriend have a good relationship. I love my boyfriend, I have never ever cheated. I would never betray him especially not with his own relative.

How can I stop his cousin from making up such horrible false accusations/claims?
Sorry for the long post.
I don't really have any advice but that is awful!! I feel so sorry for you it's awful to be accused of something you know you haven't done. Did you tell your boyfriend you rejected his advances at the start of the relationship? Will the cousin admit to you that he's lying or is he seriously so deluded maybe he believes it's true himself!


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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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(Original post by littlesocksx)
I don't really have any advice but that is awful!! I feel so sorry for you it's awful to be accused of something you know you haven't done. Did you tell your boyfriend you rejected his advances at the start of the relationship? Will the cousin admit to you that he's lying or is he seriously so deluded maybe he believes it's true himself!


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Thank you for replying. Yes my boyfriend is aware, I've always told him whenever his cousin has made advances. His cousin is deluded, he won't admit to lying and it seems like in his head its real. He literally twists everything I say, he had the cheek to claim that I was the one making advances on him!
I think he is just a maliciously evil person, that is hell bent on ruining me because I rejected him.

As of right now, his cousin is at his house and is still making up lies... My boyfriend won't cut him off despite the fact that his cousin clearly doesn't like him or respect him at all..
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Plumstone
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Report 7 years ago
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This is ridiculous. Why doesn't your boyfriend just cut him out of his life?! Whilst I can understand that your boyfriend still sees him as part of his family, you don't have any blood ties and your boyfriend must realise that if this doesn't stop then one day you'll have had enough and he'll lose you. If it were me then I would have got out of there a long time ago, especially if your boyfriend is as suspicious as you suggest.

Also, how old are you all? It seems so childish, it's hard to believe it's possible.....
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#5
(Original post by Plumstone)
This is ridiculous. Why doesn't your boyfriend just cut him out of his life?! Whilst I can understand that your boyfriend still sees him as part of his family, you don't have any blood ties and your boyfriend must realise that if this doesn't stop then one day you'll have had enough and he'll lose you. If it were me then I would have got out of there a long time ago, especially if your boyfriend is as suspicious as you suggest.

Also, how old are you all? It seems so childish, it's hard to believe it's possible.....
I agree it is ridiculous and so immature. I've spoken to my boyfriend about this firmly and he has now agreed to distance himself from his cousin. His cousin is 17 years old, while me and my boyfriend will be turning 20 soon.

My boyfriend isn't really suspicious, he just questions me about the situation. I've told him I'm tired of having to defend myself against malicious lies. My boyfriend finds it hard to cut him off because whenever his cousin is kicked out, my boyfriend's parents allow him into the house. His cousin needs to grow up. Hopefully being ignored by my boyfriend should put an end to this.

Thank you for your advice.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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(Original post by arson_fire)
If his behaviour is that bad i`m sure it`s not gone unnoticed by everyone else who knows him, and i`m sure they take what he says with a pinch of salt. I do think your BF needs to get a grip on the situation and tell his cousin in no uncertain terms that it needs to stop. If he won`t then maybe he`s not the one for you. Or you could just take a baseball bat to the cousin.
I wish I could do that haha! You're right, his irrational and immature behaviour has not gone unnoticed. He is a well known liar and trouble maker. Its just really annoying that he keeps on lying about me, to the point where family friends have started to question me about it even though its none of their business.

I told my boyfriend all of this, I told him I won't stay if this continues.
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