How do I get over someone?! Advice needed!

So last september I met a guy on a night out (lets call him John :smile:

) and we hooked up and he spent the night (Although we didnt sleep together.) I found out we had loads in common and we just clicked.. in fact he was best friends with one of my close friends and was constantly round my uni halls house last year..we were both amazed how we never crossed paths!

Anyway I realised I had really fallen for John which hasnt happened to me in a long time. I mean i've gotten with people before (as you do at uni!) but never really felt like following it through. He gave me his number and I thought there was potential for something more serious, we texted a bit to begin with, but then it all dyed out. I was confused as to what was going on as I couldnt get him off my mind so spoke to his best friend (one of my close friends) and he told me how John had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and therefore wasnt looking for anything serious but just wanted to have fun but he did genuinely like me.

I understood this and spoke to him myself and he told me the same as he didnt want to hurt me. Since then (was about november then) I tried to forget about him, got with other people and thought I was finally over him, I mean it was a crush, how could you really like someone after just one night?

That was until the last day of term when on a night out I saw him out for the first time in months and we ended up sleeping together. He told me how he really liked me and didnt mean to have hurt me. I played off how much I was actually into him (didnt want to seem like some sort of obsessive person..which im not may I add! :P). I heard from him a bit again over christmas but again I could still feel this wasnt going to go anywhere.

This term we can't help but get together when we're on a night out (happened about 5 times now) but I know he still wants to be single and sleep about. We havent bumped into each other on a night out since end of feb now and although i've gotten with other people, I still think about him.

Recently i've met a really nice guy (lets call him Tom :P ) who i've been out with a few times and all my friends think that its going to lead to something more serious. I do like Tom, but don't have the same strong feelings that I have towards John and I dont want to lead him on. Theres a small part inside of me clinging onto the idea that John will realise he wants something more serious but I know I cant keep thinking this as it may never happen.

So advice! Should I just try to give up on John? I know if i saw him on a night out it would be so hard not to go see him, but how do I get over him??

Reply 1

Pucca*

Why don't you just talk to John! Just try it and see what happens....especially after the sexual endeavours....hahaha. Just make a joke out of it, casually message him a joke about it. You got on so well before! See what happens from that. Sometimes it's hard to get over someone you really liked, and you should be careful not to (even though it wouldn't be intentional) use Tom as a rebound....subconsciously trying to make John jealous, as this never works really.

Just taaallllkkkkkkk to John. And if he is clear, then you will have some clarity too and maybe closure on the whole thing. But just be careful not to lead Tom on. :smile:

How do I get over someone?! Advice needed!

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