I may be missing the point, but would anyone like to explain why this exemplar essay is so good. Unfortunately just because it is an exemplar, does not mean it is good.
The marker informs us that paragraph 1 is a "strong opening." However the writer contradicts himself in this first paragraph. On line 2 he says it is a simple text, then on the fourth last line says it is a complex novel. Although I assume the question is about the impact of setting on the novel, this opening paragraph which we are informed is "strong" is full of generalisations that could apply to other Fitzgerald novels. Not seeing the question, it is not clear the writer has properly addresses the question.
Paragraph 2's topic sentence informs us that one contribution of the setting is to portray the excitement and hysteria of the 1920's. Now, from what I can see this paragraph is a listing of eight quotations linked by narrative. Not linked by analysis and not linked by evaluation. And this is his general technique throughout the essay.
Paragraph 3 goes on to explain that these parties also reveal the decadence of the 1920's. Decadence, I assume, is defined by sentence 2 which is about these people being driven by materialism and superficial values and are only concerned for themselves and their money. From what I can see, having made this statement the point is left hanging. It is certainly not elaborated on. In paragraph 2 there appear to be thirteen quotes which probably take up just under half the wordage of the paragraph. The one tick in that paragraph is not for the writers analysis ( of which there little if not none ) but for using a quote. At the end of this paragraph the writer comments that the upper classes are out of control and there is no sign of them calming down. There is a comment by the marker about the extravagant life styles of the well to do. There is no criticism about that final sentence which is quite outrageous and for which there is no support or explanation.
Paragraph 4 opens with a sentence that makes no sense. "In addition to this ( which probably has something to do with the topic of paragraph 3 ) Fitzgerald reveals characters through setting, invariably providing us with a greater understanding of the characters." Characters through setting that provide better understanding of characters. That sounds interesting. Unlike the first three paragraphs the first half of this paragraph does attempt to analyse and delineate the two styles of East and West Egg and what that tells us about the characters. Although the writer returns to generalising towards the end it is a reasonable paragraph that has the potential to be quite a good paragraph.
Paragraph 5 topic sentence informs us that the greatest significance of the setting is to portray the theme of moral degeneration by displaying the sterility of society. It is an interesting topic sentence and I am not sure what it means or how one can find evidence within the novel to support it. It is interesting how this student believes he is analysing and arguing. Here is sentence 2. The "Valley of ashes" is a "solemn dumping ground," a symbol of the upper classes destruction of the way that they abuse the "ash grey men" of this "desolate area of land." All this pupil has done is link a series of quotations. And the marker actually ticked this.This linking quotation through narrative is continued through the remainder of this paragraph.
He ends his essay by saying "Through this combination of ideas, joined together by setting, a well-crafted, thought-provoking novel is born." This inflated use of expression is, my view, appalling. And the marker comments "This is excellent."
If this is an excellent essay, could someone explain to me why. I would fail this essay, so I am interested where I am going wrong.