Hey guys, so basically me and my Girlfriend split up just before valentines day
we met around the middle of 2012, summer time I think, I had no interest in her whatsoever but she was really kind and nice so we became good friends, one night drunk (she was stone cold sober) we kissed, it was a good kiss but I didn't think anything of it, turns out she really really liked me, this was a huge shock because she is a very frigid type (I was her first everything)
anyway, around the middle of November 2012 we fell asleep together because we did it a lot because we were good friends but, well one thing led to another and we actually had sex, I felt insanely bad and depressed because I didn't really like her in that way, but I decided to agree to get into a relationship with her on the 29th of November.
However, after a few weeks with her, I actually grew fond of her and didn't finish things with her because we actually both liked each other.
during our whole relationship she had always been kind of 'needy' and quite clingy, wanting to see me regularly during the weeks (literally every night) but I stuck with it because we had many great times together and I eventually fell in love with her.
Come early February 2014, after 15 months together, I feel as if the relationship was failing because I wanted space to myself (it didnt help that she lives a few streets away) and so I decided to end things.
Here's the main part of the story, after we broke up she still bought me valentines presents and came knocking at my door, which I obviously found annoying because I had ended it and wanted space, she carried on messaging me every day for a whole month, asking to sort things and meet up and everything but I declined because I was getting over her. She then completely stopped, unfollowed me on everything apart from facebook and stopped coming out with our friendship group as our relationship had brought her into our friendship group
However, about 3 weeks ago, I drunk text her asking her how she was and why she deleted me and everything, I can't really remember what the response was but we talked all night till about 6am, she stated that she was meeting other boys and had kissed one at a 'social' but said that was it and wasn't seeing anyone.
For some reason this completely killed me inside, I cried all night and was texting her asking for her back, she completely refused point blank that she would never ever want to get back with me. So I tried again the next day sober, still, no luck. I left it for a day then asked her to meet up. She seemed very keen on the idea of being friends.
We met up and all went well, had a laugh at the past (all whilst I was secretly dying inside), I then walked her home and she started crying, when we quickly hugged. I really wasn't sure what to think so I asked her out again on the spot and she still refused to get back with me.
I spoke to some friends in school and they said she was literally doing it to spite me, even though she still liked me, but I wasn't sure because a week had passed and we were still talking as friends over text but hadn't met since. Through this she had told me she had been meeting up with boys and going for drives with them and stuff but insisted that nothing had happened
she recently had a party where I was invited to, as well as all of my friends and some of her school friends ( we went to different schools) but here I saw new people she never mentioned, new boys, and everything, there was one boy that came who she had met up with in the week when i texted her and they seemed close, but she was also flirting with me. now this girl is not the flirty type at all, or the type to go around with boys.
however, I feel as if I am kidding myself and feel as if she has let her self go after she had a breakup with me, and she is loving all of the guys attention.
Now what is weird is that the next day after the party i went over hers and cleaned up, even though i didnt stay there for long the night before, I was there for a good 5 hours cleaning her house where no one else stayed to help, leaving in the morning, we then chilled in her room, sort of flirting because i was tickling her and she was like, not worried about her knickers when she sat down with her skirt and things, wholst all of this though she was texting alot (all throughout the day) she then decided to go for a shower and put on makeup and everything, I then dried her hair for her because we used to do it a lot when we were together. about 15 minutes after this she asked if she could go for a drive with one of these boys ( I mentioned the boy from the night before but turned out to be a different boy, so she says)
so basically, I dont know what the hell to do, I finished a 15 month relationship with her, then 3 months later I realized I still love her, and she doesn't want me back. But I'm so surprised by how much she has changed, is she doing this to make me jealous because I hurt her? has she genuinely moved on? Is she just enjoying all the attention from guys and will get over it in a few months?
any feedback will be really appreciated guys.
Thanks ever so much for reading
Guys, need some genuine advice about girlfriend/ex etc Watch
- Thread Starter
- 15-04-2014 20:45
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- 16-04-2014 12:18
I read drive and think sex
Seems like she's moved on tbh if she's still meeting up with guys and telling you about it knowing how you feel. Get comfortable with yourself again and move onto the next girl. Being in a relationship for a long time you start to depend on the other person so what you're probably feeling now is that you need her, but before you met you didn't need her.Last edited by Xenonz; 16-04-2014 at 12:22.
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- 16-04-2014 12:24
You don't seem like a great guy really, and you broke up with her then ignored her. She doesn't trust you or probably even like you any more. It's completely understandable why she wouldn't want to get back with you - it doesn't seem like it's 'to spite you.'
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- 16-04-2014 12:25
Have I got things right?
1- you get into a relationship with a girl you don't really like in the first place.
2- you end things after falling in love because of closeness, rather than just asking for space (?)
3- she finds it hard to be apart, so wisely breaks off all contact so as to get over you properly
4- you are shocked that she is trying to move on from you and jealous that she has 'grown up', so to speak, so now want her back because she is no longer yours (?)
5- she acknowledges things have moved on and rejects you several times, but you persist.
You need to let this relationship go, I don't really feel that your desire to get back together is as organic as it should be for such things, and I also believe she is relishing the opportunity to be single and get more experience, which she didn't have before she met you. It would be best for both of you if you stopped being even close friends for a while, took a good step back from things and made an effort to be your own persons.
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- 16-04-2014 12:36
She's turning you from her ex-boyfriend to her personal emotional wetblanket pet toy.
It's working too. You're thinking about her constantly, making weird decisions and doing stuff for her based on "she's special" and if she still likes you.
The way to tell if a girl REALLY likes you is that she'll get emotional ABOUT you this includes both happy and sad. Both indicate that she still has feelings for you as emotional reaction = interest as just thinking about you has an effect on you.
Also I agree with the guy above. If the dude who took her for a drive has ANY amount of game he'd have ****ed her.
- Thread Starter
- 16-04-2014 13:26
Thank you for the replies guys, yes she has gone driving with these blokes, but I'd like to think she hasn't done anything with them because before we got together she was so frigid, however, she has changed.
It's really nice to hear a neutral perspective, the thing is, I know I shouldn't of let her go ahah, it's just that I've only realized it now, but thanks all.