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He hasn't contacted me in over a week? Watch

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    I'll try to make this as short as I can haha.

    I met a guy on a night out 6 weeks ago, I'm 18 and in my first year of uni and he's just turned 21 and is working full time. We hit it off instantly and after seeing each other quite a bit and finally sleeping with each other (I made him wait, didn't want to sleep with him straight away) we decided that we were pretty much 'seeing each other', whatever that entails. I could tell he liked me, we'd talk every day, he would pay 35 quid for a taxi from his to mine and another 35 back to his in the morning (he lives outside the opposite end of the city) and he said that if I got with another guy it would hurt him, he told me that he turned down another girl as well and this was before we decided we were actually seeing each other. He was really sweet and was the same before and after we slept together, which made me think that he wasn't just trying to get me to bed. I got out of a 3 and a half year relationship before christmas, I'm not looking for a super serious relationship at the moment and he knows this.

    Last saturday he was meant to come round mine for the night before I came home for easter break, it got to about 6pm and I messaged him on fb asking when he was coming (his phone is broken, he can't make texts or calls from it) and he replied a while later saying he had his friend's girlfriend's 21st that he totally forgot about and that he couldn't make it till later and that he'd message me in a bit. Wasn't that bothered as I was just excited to see him no matter what time he arrived, but I didn't hear from him for the rest of the night. I figured his battery had died, I was still a bit bummed but not totally upset. I messaged him later that night just saying that I guessed he wasn't coming, he saw the message the next day but didn't reply, didn't apologise or explain anything which annoyed me a bit. Got to monday night and I told him I was a bit bummed by it and asked if everything was cool but he either didn't see the question or avoided it, telling me his battery died (which is fair enough) and he woke up at his friends the next morning then was busy that day and apologised for not letting me know.

    I forgave him quickly as all I wanted was an apology then he asked how my day was etc, carrying on the conversation as we usually talk. I replied but then he didn't reply to that, this was last monday night and I he hasn't contacted me since. I didn't know whether it was intentional or not but I sent him the odd snapchat since then (which he didn't respond to) and sent him a link on fb to a dub night that looked really look (which he saw and hasn't replied to) and tbh I don't really know why all of a sudden he has gone from initiating contact pretty much every day and showing loads of signs of interest to none at all.

    Any thoughts as to why he's acting like this? sighhhhh thanks in advance!
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    You slept with him early on in your courtship...that's the problem! He got what he wanted, perhaps has now lost interest and has moved onto the next girl.

    My advice - learn from it and move on!


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    Maybe he was fed up with paying a 70 quid round trip every time he went to see you ... that's quite inexplicable, he lives in a city, why not take the bus?
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    You slept with him early on in your courtship...that's the problem! He got what he wanted, perhaps has now lost interest and has moved onto the next girl.

    My advice - learn from it and move on!


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    How early is too early though?


    OP it sounds like he's distancing himself from you. Either be cool and see what happens next or ask him what's going on. Just be prepared for the answer just in case it's not a good one.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll try to make this as short as I can haha.

    I met a guy on a night out 6 weeks ago, I'm 18 and in my first year of uni and he's just turned 21 and is working full time. We hit it off instantly and after seeing each other quite a bit and finally sleeping with each other (I made him wait, didn't want to sleep with him straight away) we decided that we were pretty much 'seeing each other', whatever that entails. I could tell he liked me, we'd talk every day, he would pay 35 quid for a taxi from his to mine and another 35 back to his in the morning (he lives outside the opposite end of the city) and he said that if I got with another guy it would hurt him, he told me that he turned down another girl as well and this was before we decided we were actually seeing each other. He was really sweet and was the same before and after we slept together, which made me think that he wasn't just trying to get me to bed. I got out of a 3 and a half year relationship before christmas, I'm not looking for a super serious relationship at the moment and he knows this.

    Last saturday he was meant to come round mine for the night before I came home for easter break, it got to about 6pm and I messaged him on fb asking when he was coming (his phone is broken, he can't make texts or calls from it) and he replied a while later saying he had his friend's girlfriend's 21st that he totally forgot about and that he couldn't make it till later and that he'd message me in a bit. Wasn't that bothered as I was just excited to see him no matter what time he arrived, but I didn't hear from him for the rest of the night. I figured his battery had died, I was still a bit bummed but not totally upset. I messaged him later that night just saying that I guessed he wasn't coming, he saw the message the next day but didn't reply, didn't apologise or explain anything which annoyed me a bit. Got to monday night and I told him I was a bit bummed by it and asked if everything was cool but he either didn't see the question or avoided it, telling me his battery died (which is fair enough) and he woke up at his friends the next morning then was busy that day and apologised for not letting me know.

    I forgave him quickly as all I wanted was an apology then he asked how my day was etc, carrying on the conversation as we usually talk. I replied but then he didn't reply to that, this was last monday night and I he hasn't contacted me since. I didn't know whether it was intentional or not but I sent him the odd snapchat since then (which he didn't respond to) and sent him a link on fb to a dub night that looked really look (which he saw and hasn't replied to) and tbh I don't really know why all of a sudden he has gone from initiating contact pretty much every day and showing loads of signs of interest to none at all.

    Any thoughts as to why he's acting like this? sighhhhh thanks in advance!
    No. 6 weeks isn't really very long tbh, considering it's not someone you knew as a friend before. I'm not judging your decision at all, but it seems as though he was probably only interested in sex. Tbh, you are coming across as a bit clingy by messaging/snapchating/linking him on fb when he hasn't responded to you the first couple of times.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    we'd talk every day, he would pay 35 quid for a taxi from his to mine and another 35 back to his in the morning
    Yikes, not saying that that was the reason, but the expense definitely would have become a problem imminently if it wasn't already. Even working full-time, that's a massive drain.

    As to why he's gone cold, its a tricky one I'm afraid OP. Sometimes things just don't work out, and feelings come and go, especially in new relationships.
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    You slept with him early on in your courtship...that's the problem! He got what he wanted, perhaps has now lost interest and has moved onto the next girl.

    My advice - learn from it and move on!


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    Exactly.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll try to make this as short as I can haha.

    I met a guy on a night out 6 weeks ago, I'm 18 and in my first year of uni and he's just turned 21 and is working full time. We hit it off instantly and after seeing each other quite a bit and finally sleeping with each other (I made him wait, didn't want to sleep with him straight away) we decided that we were pretty much 'seeing each other', whatever that entails. I could tell he liked me, we'd talk every day, he would pay 35 quid for a taxi from his to mine and another 35 back to his in the morning (he lives outside the opposite end of the city) and he said that if I got with another guy it would hurt him, he told me that he turned down another girl as well and this was before we decided we were actually seeing each other. He was really sweet and was the same before and after we slept together, which made me think that he wasn't just trying to get me to bed. I got out of a 3 and a half year relationship before christmas, I'm not looking for a super serious relationship at the moment and he knows this.

    Last saturday he was meant to come round mine for the night before I came home for easter break, it got to about 6pm and I messaged him on fb asking when he was coming (his phone is broken, he can't make texts or calls from it) and he replied a while later saying he had his friend's girlfriend's 21st that he totally forgot about and that he couldn't make it till later and that he'd message me in a bit. Wasn't that bothered as I was just excited to see him no matter what time he arrived, but I didn't hear from him for the rest of the night. I figured his battery had died, I was still a bit bummed but not totally upset. I messaged him later that night just saying that I guessed he wasn't coming, he saw the message the next day but didn't reply, didn't apologise or explain anything which annoyed me a bit. Got to monday night and I told him I was a bit bummed by it and asked if everything was cool but he either didn't see the question or avoided it, telling me his battery died (which is fair enough) and he woke up at his friends the next morning then was busy that day and apologised for not letting me know.

    I forgave him quickly as all I wanted was an apology then he asked how my day was etc, carrying on the conversation as we usually talk. I replied but then he didn't reply to that, this was last monday night and I he hasn't contacted me since. I didn't know whether it was intentional or not but I sent him the odd snapchat since then (which he didn't respond to) and sent him a link on fb to a dub night that looked really look (which he saw and hasn't replied to) and tbh I don't really know why all of a sudden he has gone from initiating contact pretty much every day and showing loads of signs of interest to none at all.

    Any thoughts as to why he's acting like this? sighhhhh thanks in advance!
    Hun, he got what he wanted and he's probably done now, if you give it up easy don't expect him to have anything he wants to fight for.
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    This thread is telling me that girls think there is a stage where a guy just wants to bang a girl and then leave her, but if you keep him hungry for long enough it will somehow turn into a relationship..

    Well no, if I was seeing a girl for 6 weeks without seeing anyone else and I hadnt had sex, I would lock it off. Not fall in love.

    My advice to girls is to adopt a different mentality to men, stop getting emotionally attached to men, youre only gonna get hurt.
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    (Original post by H0ls)
    No. 6 weeks isn't really very long tbh, considering it's not someone you knew as a friend before. I'm not judging your decision at all, but it seems as though he was probably only interested in sex. Tbh, you are coming across as a bit clingy by messaging/snapchating/linking him on fb when he hasn't responded to you the first couple of times.


    This, tbh. He got what he wanted and now he doesn't care/he didn't want anything serious but you've been too full on and its scared him off. If he'd been a decent guy who was genuinely into you, of course it would have been a different story. I'd just forget about him and move on- enjoy being single!
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    (Original post by Apocrypha)
    Well no, if I was seeing a girl for 6 weeks without seeing anyone else and I hadnt had sex, I would lock it off. Not fall in love.
    It really depends IMHO. If you've only just met the person and you weren't prior friends it seems a tad to early for me (if you're looking for a serious relationship, that is). Again, would depend on how often you're seeing that person over the 6 weeks too. If you're seeing each other every day then it's more understandable. One a week? Mmm.. not as much.
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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    How early is too early though?

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    Talking from experience! Took a gamble on a situation I was in, & it didn't pay off! My opinion = make the man sweat/go hungry for it! If he's genuinely interested, he'll wait, stick around. Those who want a quick fix, will move on swiftly!


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